next »

[a_fuzzy_lurker]

In Miracle on 34th Street (the original film version), Santa lists one of his next of kin as "Donder."

Popular poet of this season, Clement C. Moore, used "Dunder and Blixem" in his "Account of a Visit from St. Nicholas".  Perhaps the "Donner" spelling is simply another evolutionary stage in the Anglification of the name:  Dunder --> Donder --> Donner?

We're certainly hijacking this thread...

[bibliothecula]

Dear Applicant,

The reason you did not get this job is because you cannot correctly name all of Santa's reindeer, all of the seven dwarves, and all of the seven wonders of the ancient world. Please try again next year when we play "Hire a pop culture candidate."

Sincerely,
the dean

[srednivashtar]

When you're having lunch with the graduate students, don't flagrantly bait a few naive students into making mildly critical remarks about the department, and then use up all of your interview time with the next faculty member going into horrified, heavily-embellished detail about "how unhappy all the grad students are here".

That game culminated in numerous screaming matches in a department that was normally very civil and student-friendly.  The grad students and faculty members involved quickly sorted it all out, calmed down, and moved on, but the candidate is still remembered by everyone involved as a bagged specimen of self-sabotage.  (Of course, it's possible that hu didn't want the job in the first place, and didn't mind directing the sabotage outward in order to be removed from consideration.)

[historian]

When you're having lunch with the graduate students, don't flagrantly bait a few naive students into making mildly critical remarks about the department, and then use up all of your interview time with the next faculty member going into horrified, heavily-embellished detail about "how unhappy all the grad students are here".

That game culminated in numerous screaming matches in a department that was normally very civil and student-friendly.  The grad students and faculty members involved quickly sorted it all out, calmed down, and moved on, but the candidate is still remembered by everyone involved as a bagged specimen of self-sabotage.  (Of course, it's possible that hu didn't want the job in the first place, and didn't mind directing the sabotage outward in order to be removed from consideration.)

I know of a candidate who did that and his goal was to present himself as someone who could "connect" with the students and "bridge" those terrible, terrible divides he "uncovered" during his final interview of the day with the SC (I was a grad student rep to the SC when it happened at my institution). Self-serving doesn't begin to describe it.

No screaming match after he left campus but he wasn't invited back in the fall...

[profxfiles]

Don't display your total lack of research by asking your potential colleagues how many graduate assistants you get per year when we are a BA-only department, and that fact is clearly noted in our catalog, our web page, and in our advertisement.

If you are asked in a phone interview how far along you are on your dissertation, don't lie about or misrepresent likely completion time frame. Our university is VERY strict about hiring ABDs and we have to jump through all sorts of hoops with our dean to even interview people that are not completed. If you mislead us, we will end up (unintentionally) misleading our dean, and then our dean gets VERY cranky.... We invited someone on campus who implied very strongly in her phone interview that she was close to defending. When she showed up for the on-campus interview a few eeks later, it was she made it clear in her job talk that she had not even started collecting her data yet, let alone doing much writing beyond her first chapter....

[captain_obvious]

Profxfiles, why is it a horrible sin to ask about research assistants?  I have many friends who went to SLACS and worked as RAs while they were undergrads.  Do you know for sure this isn't what your candidate was thinking of?

[dataguru]

If you are asked in a phone interview how far along you are on your dissertation, don't lie about or misrepresent likely completion time frame. Our university is VERY strict about hiring ABDs and we have to jump through all sorts of hoops with our dean to even interview people that are not completed.

WOW.  In my department, you cannot advance to candidacy without a completed dissertation proposal... so, an abd candidate has already written the first three chapters (intro, lit., methods...).  For Quant. folks, it means data collection, interpretation, then defense time.... 

[copper]

Profxfiles, why is it a horrible sin to ask about research assistants?  I have many friends who went to SLACS and worked as RAs while they were undergrads.  Do you know for sure this isn't what your candidate was thinking of?

Don't display your total lack of research by asking your potential colleagues how many graduate assistants you get per year when we are a BA-only department, and that fact is clearly noted in our catalog, our web page, and in our advertisement.

A better approach is to inquire about undergraduate research opportunities (and make clear it's a research opportunity for the undergrads that you mean, not an exploitation opportunity for you).

[profxfiles]

Profxfiles, why is it a horrible sin to ask about research assistants?  I have many friends who went to SLACS and worked as RAs while they were undergrads.  Do you know for sure this isn't what your candidate was thinking of?

She didn't say research assistants, she said grad assistants. She also asked how many grad theses/dissertations she would be expected to supervise, so she made it pretty clear she thought we had a graduate program. Even a very cursory examination of our web page would have made it clear that we do not have anything even resembling a grad program...

[aandsdean]

Profxfiles, why is it a horrible sin to ask about research assistants?  I have many friends who went to SLACS and worked as RAs while they were undergrads.  Do you know for sure this isn't what your candidate was thinking of?

She didn't say research assistants, she said grad assistants. She also asked how many grad theses/dissertations she would be expected to supervise, so she made it pretty clear she thought we had a graduate program. Even a very cursory examination of our web page would have made it clear that we do not have anything even resembling a grad program...

How did this person get to campus in the first place?

[profxfiles]

She didn't say research assistants, she said grad assistants. She also asked how many grad theses/dissertations she would be expected to supervise, so she made it pretty clear she thought we had a graduate program. Even a very cursory examination of our web page would have made it clear that we do not have anything even resembling a grad program...

How did this person get to campus in the first place?
[/quote]
We gave her a ride? (BA-DUM-CHING!)

Seriously, she looked good on paper with great letters. We had opted not to do phone interviews that year (BIG mistake).... we have done them very year since.

[aandsdean]

She didn't say research assistants, she said grad assistants. She also asked how many grad theses/dissertations she would be expected to supervise, so she made it pretty clear she thought we had a graduate program. Even a very cursory examination of our web page would have made it clear that we do not have anything even resembling a grad program...

How did this person get to campus in the first place?

We gave her a ride? (BA-DUM-CHING!)

Seriously, she looked good on paper with great letters. We had opted not to do phone interviews that year (BIG mistake).... we have done them very year since.
[/quote]

Live and learn, eh?

[profxfiles]

Live and learn, eh?

NO KIDDING! Actually, we screwed it up doubly, as we did not notice that she had NO letters from anyone at her current VAP appointment--everything was at least a couple fo years old from her grad program. Last I heard, she was out of academe altogether...