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fiona
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« Reply #15 on: November 13, 2007, 02:10:39 AM » |
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Dr_Stones is absolutely right. No spouse, for all the reasons he gives. And John_Proctor's, too.
The Fiona
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The Fiona or perhaps La Fiona
Professor of Thread Killing, Fiork University
The Right Reverend Fiona, PhD, Bishop of the Fora
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vardahilwen
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« Reply #16 on: November 13, 2007, 06:18:40 AM » |
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Ugh, I'm having flashbacks to classmates who brought mommy and daddy to their diss/thesis defenses. Never understood that.
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You can sit at my lunch table.
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helpful
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« Reply #17 on: January 24, 2008, 11:17:38 PM » |
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Ugh, I'm having flashbacks to classmates who brought mommy and daddy to their diss/thesis defenses. Never understood that.
I would understand your feeling if the classmate was in their 20s. Everyone in my grad school did invite their parents. Of course, since many of them were in their late 40s and 50s when they defended, it was a sign of respect to invite their now elderly parents. The defense at our grad school was a celebration in any case of a successful doctoral program of research and writing. Of course, there were hard questions, but I always felt that if someone failed their defense, that was the committee's fault for allowing the defense to go ahead when the student wasn't ready. |
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mdwlark
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« Reply #18 on: January 25, 2008, 12:27:46 AM » |
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Ugh, I'm having flashbacks to classmates who brought mommy and daddy to their diss/thesis defenses. Never understood that.
Not at all the same thing. You get the PhD whether mom shows up or not. Never, never never never never bring anyone to your job talk. Unless of course, you are in competition for the position with me. Then you should bring your hilarious Aunt Tillie and blow kisses to her, and insist she also come to lunch with the search committee. You know that position I just interviewed for, the one that I really want? I want all the rest of you candidates to do something outrageous. |
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terpsichore
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« Reply #19 on: January 26, 2008, 07:24:58 PM » |
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My advice from an R1 university: your spouse should not attend your job talk or any other job search functions (dinners etc.) even if spouse is invited to attend. The spouse's presence would awkwardly remind the SC that spouse is a factor in your hire, and may interfere with the dynamics of your interactions with the hiring department. During hiring, some faculty greatly resent anything that seems like outside interference.
By NOT attending, your spouse will convey that he or she has confidence in your ability to get the job on your own merits. You want the SC and hiring department to conclude that you and your spouse have independent careers, and that you are going to be successful faculty on your own, even if you are in the same field and collaborate together.
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tenured_feminist
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« Reply #20 on: January 26, 2008, 08:24:42 PM » |
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Hey, there actually is something worse than having your spouse there. That's having your in-laws show up. And then, after your talk is over and you're making small talk, having them berate your potential future colleagues for being too mean in the Q&A. I am legend!
(You can only really truly get the full horror of what I'm talking about if you are also Jewish.)
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You people are not fooling me. I know exactly what occurred in that thread, and I know exactly what you all are doing. |
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jackit
Uppity
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 2,694
'Til the cows drive home.
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« Reply #21 on: January 26, 2008, 09:12:49 PM » |
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Spouse at talk = lots of talk about your spouse.
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fiona
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« Reply #22 on: January 27, 2008, 09:20:20 PM » |
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Ugh, I'm having flashbacks to classmates who brought mommy and daddy to their diss/thesis defenses. Never understood that.
Not at all the same thing. You get the PhD whether mom shows up or not. Never, never never never never bring anyone to your job talk. Unless of course, you are in competition for the position with me. Then you should bring your hilarious Aunt Tillie and blow kisses to her, and insist she also come to lunch with the search committee. You know that position I just interviewed for, the one that I really want? I want all the rest of you candidates to do something outrageous. You forgot to mention that Aunt Tillie should be naked except for a few daffodils. That'll show the search committee that your tastes are eclectic and that you will be a resourceful, creative, and cutting edge colleague, attuned to all the latest theory. The Fiona |
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The Fiona or perhaps La Fiona
Professor of Thread Killing, Fiork University
The Right Reverend Fiona, PhD, Bishop of the Fora
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larryc
Hu hatin'
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 18,285
Eschew the hu.
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« Reply #23 on: January 27, 2008, 09:44:24 PM » |
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No spouse.
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jackit
Uppity
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 2,694
'Til the cows drive home.
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« Reply #24 on: January 27, 2008, 11:54:00 PM » |
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Hey, there actually is something worse than having your spouse there. That's having your in-laws show up. And then, after your talk is over and you're making small talk, having them berate your potential future colleagues for being too mean in the Q&A. I am legend!
(You can only really truly get the full horror of what I'm talking about if you are also Jewish.)
O. M. G. Was that you?? We still laugh about McFarley trying to explain how reasonable his criticism was to your gesticulating MIL. |
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« Last Edit: January 27, 2008, 11:54:26 PM by jackit »
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genie
Junior member
Posts: 64
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« Reply #25 on: January 28, 2008, 04:43:50 AM » |
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If you're still reading, Liverwurst, what did you do? Did your spouse attend your talk? How did it go? I for one would like an update.
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terpsichore
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« Reply #26 on: February 14, 2008, 05:45:57 PM » |
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Yes, please tell us what happened. Inquiring minds want to know....
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