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[science_expat]

I'm not sure that ExPat would agree but to me you're making the UK "quality assurance" process sound positively benign.

[oldfullprof]

Mmmmmm.  I'd like to apply this to advising (not!):

Did your advisor?

__ Greet you pleasantly
__ Pull up your degree audit
__ Count up your gen ed credits in each area
__ Count up your major credits
__ Remind you of the 120 cedit hour minimum
__ Discuss further career plans
__ Take at least 15 minutes
__ Smile

You can win a five dollar prize if he/she fails to meet behavioral expectations in any of these areas.  Just send an e-mail to Jane Jones, Vice President for TQM.  And, don't forget, submitting this survey makes you eligible to win an I-Pod in the drawing at the end of advising. 

[dept_geek]

LOL, OAP. You've pretty much described a recent serious of emails that occured at CCo'mine.

OMG.

Even in the industrial world they tend to degenerate into buzzwords and bureaucratic minutiae.

What is more frightening is these self-same buzzwords in the hands of academics who aren't sure what they mean. But if they say them **LOUDER** and **MORE OFTEN** they will be important to somethingoranother.

[finallyfullprof]

Now you have me quaking in my boots about Six Sigma. It's bad enough that my cc district is currently competing for a stupid TQM award that is designed for corporations.  Some other cc earned it, so now WE have to earn it too.  Our chancellor took a lot of heat when he brought his business charts to college town hall meetings and we asked questions such as "Where do academic standards fit into all this?" and "Why are there only customers but no students?"  If it would not out me, I would direct all of you to his delightful web page on which he has some sort of business flow chart that no one understands.

[rattusdomesticus]

Six Sigma doesn't do jack for colleges except give administrators more sticks to hit faculty with (as if they needed more) and irritate faculty and staff (more than usual).

My d.c.'s secretary said that our d.c. used to be a decent man before Six Sigma... and that now, he barks demands at her, looks intense all the time, and micromanages.

So, yeah, if that's what SixSigma was supposed to do, it's been very effective.

[daurousseau]

Put Six Sigma up there with SWOT. And Pinnacle. And Branding.

Interesting how many stupid things sound stupid, too.

[puckk]

There’s a college on an Eastern Bay
And it sees 8,000 students a day
Its logos though have too much play
They look however they please

(Chorus)

Branding, you’re a fine idea
You’re alright with me
I always wanted to be an adman
S’why I got my PhD

In this college in this harbor town
Printers work laying ink down
Brochures’ll help with our renown
Or at least so it’s said

Chorus

Do-do-do-do etc.