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[zarathustra]

That was it.  In a fit of rage, I grabbed her up, and threw her out the front door.  She's an outdoor cat now, and if she can't adjust, she's, sadly, going to get a lethal injection.

Obscure, I like your posts, but I was really horrified to read this! You wouldn't throw out a kid if the kid peed on your bed, but it's ok for an animal you say you love?

I've felt exactly the same way but I don't think you'll feel the same way later.  Give the cat time (and yourself).  She'll adjust.

[larryc]

An animal is not a person.

I am always shocked when I read about someone spending thousands of dollars to get hip replacements for their dog or some damn thing. "You could have funded a hospital in Haiti!" I think to myself.

Obscure, you cannot live in cat pee. You did the right thing.

[smurfette]

An animal is not a person.

I am always shocked when I read about someone spending thousands of dollars to get hip replacements for their dog or some damn thing. "You could have funded a hospital in Haiti!" I think to myself.

Obscure, you cannot live in cat pee. You did the right thing.

LarryC, some people love animals more than humans. Nothing wrong with that. My husband works in hospitals because he loves people. I myself prefer animals. To each their own..

[sikora]

It had been a long day.  And six new peeing messes in one day, and I was trying to sleep, and omg!  my bed! I was angry with her, frustrated, and because of my life situation, coming nearer and nearer to have her and her sister euthanized as it is.  And also, forgive me for the hyperbole.  I really placed her out on the front stoop, and I was weeping as I did it.

Oh, lord do I feel awful about it.  Of course, I wouldn't throw a child out for bedwetting.  But it's not the same thing. 

occ

[prytania3]

It had been a long day.  And six new peeing messes in one day, and I was trying to sleep, and omg!  my bed! I was angry with her, frustrated, and because of my life situation, coming nearer and nearer to have her and her sister euthanized as it is.  And also, forgive me for the hyperbole.  I really placed her out on the front stoop, and I was weeping as I did it.

Oh, lord do I feel awful about it.  Of course, I wouldn't throw a child out for bedwetting.  But it's not the same thing. 

occ

Wait. The cat is back in the house?

[sikora]

It had been a long day.  And six new peeing messes in one day, and I was trying to sleep, and omg!  my bed! I was angry with her, frustrated, and because of my life situation, coming nearer and nearer to have her and her sister euthanized as it is.  And also, forgive me for the hyperbole.  I really placed her out on the front stoop, and I was weeping as I did it.

Oh, lord do I feel awful about it.  Of course, I wouldn't throw a child out for bedwetting.  But it's not the same thing. 

occ

Wait. The cat is back in the house?

No, she's gone somewhere.  Poor little fat girl.

occ

[prytania3]

She'll come back.

[treehugger]

obscure, I'm really sorry to hear that you are going through this (as I write this one of my cats stepped across my keyboard) and I feel sorry for your cat too. I love animals and people both--don't think they're mutually exclusive. I really hope your kitty comes back soon!

Others have given good advice but I wanted to suggest a few books about cat training/behavior/psychology that might be useful if you haven't read them yet:

Nicholas Dodman, The Cat Who Cried For Help
John Wright, Is Your Cat Crazy?
Pam Johnson, Twisted Whiskers
Bruce Fogle, The Cat's Mind
The best I think are Dodman and Fogle--good luck!

TH

[clean]

Sorry to hear about the cat.  I hope that it works out. 

Some have mentioned male cats peeing standing up.  IF it was with their  ... um... back ends pointed at something, then it may be a territory marking issue... especially if one back leg is lifted of the ground.
 
However, my (now departed) male cat had bladder stones.  Like kidney stones, they were very painful to him and when he stared peeing upright, Id have to take him back to the vet for a catheter and a 'flushing out'.  As you can imagine, he was not a fan of the vet! 

Back to the OP, though, you can not live with a cat that pees in your bed.  Putting them outside is not a sin! 

Happy thoughts for you,

Clean

[mdwlark]

I had this problem after two people in the household moved away.   Both cats mourned their loss.    My declawed male cat is now indoor/outdoor, and does just fine outside.  He even hunts rats, BIG ones, without claws.   He leaves rats on my doorstep to show me what a fine hunter he is.  He is very proud of himself.  I live next to an open field, rat heaven.  It is now being developed.  I dread moving to an apartment soon. 

[zonar]

An animal is not a person.


LarryC, some people love animals more than humans. Nothing wrong with that. My husband works in hospitals because he loves people. I myself prefer animals. To each their own..

Thanks smurfette.  Though I've got to say I'm not one for citing preference either way.  "An animal is not a person?"  Think about that statement.  I realize that "old-fashioned values" tend to prioritize humans over non-human animals, but come now--we have known that humans are animals, and vice versa, since the nineteenth century.  The boundary between human and animal is socially constructed in the same way that we once naturalized other excuses for privileging one group over another--man and woman, black and white. 

But all of this does not help "obscure."  I think it is monstrously unfair to consider euthanizing an animal for behavioural problems, but if you are truly unhappy with your cat, do try to find another home for her.  I've worked in no-kill shelters which regularly took in cats with far worse problems than peeing.  Some people would not find the problem quite as overwhelming, especially if there was a possibility of letting the cat outdoors.  I can't count the number of pee-ers I've lived with over the years, both of the canine and feline variety.  Over the years, my family has invested in so many kinds of new cleaners and technologies for "pet stain removal," that we could probably produce an encyclopedia on the subject.  I've developed quite a relationship with my steam "spot-bot" lately.   I suppose my reasons for saying this are two: first, that there are ways of coping with this sort of problem, but secondly, if you personally can't handle it, it doesn't mean that your cat is absolutely "un-adoptable."  Actually, many pets in new homes respond to the new situation by doing just this--new pet owners regularly have to give it time. Also, during periods of stress, and particularly when one pet dies, pets may often act out for a while in this way.  When my dog died some years ago, my cat not only began pee-ing outside the litterbox, but she also lost most of her hair.  In time, she calmed down, and everything returned to normal with her.

I am sure that you really DON'T actually value your bed and clothes more than your cat, but in your current circumstances you cannot handle the stress of dealing with another situation.  And, since it is your pets causing you the stress, there are few avenues of support. If it were your children's behavioural problems that were causing you such stress, there would likely be some support available through some network or other.   Let's not forget that there is every possibility that your cat is picking up on your stress.  For one (I've read your other post), I think you are really brave for sharing your problems.  I have often felt pretty desperate in my job search (I really don't know what I would do if I didn't have my parents to fall back on), but have always felt like I should "put on a brave face" posting to these fora.   

Practically, I have to say that I've tried feliway and it has worked like a charm for me (my male cats went through a peeing phase that was primarily territorial).  You may simply not be able to let your cat in your bedroom if she pees in there. You can't do anything about having put your cat outside like you did.  You were in a moment of distress, and we all do things without thinking them through at such times.  Most likely, she will come back.  But you might want to consider making a few calls if she does not come back within a reasonable time.  Most of my cats have been indoor/outdoor (I have always let them decide for themselves--I have had two that refused to go out, but most have cried to go out), but my outdoor cats, once adopted, have merely been kept in for two weeks before I have let them out.  Their smell is in the house (your cat seems to have made that particularly certain!) and, despite that I have always been nervous at first (I am a bit of a nomad and have moved with my cats many times), they have always made their way back.

Best of luck,

Zonar

[big_giant_head]

But now Obscure has a much larger problem to deal with--no job at all.

Is there anything anyone can do to help?  Anyone in or near Kansas City that has or knows of a temp position?

[daniel_von_flanagan]

She'll come back.

Though she might be registered under a different IP. - DvF

[zarathustra]

She'll come back.

Though she might be registered under a different IP. - DvF

Oooo, you wicked bully.  ;)


The kitty is probably blissfully unaware of how much time has passed and is having a blast. 

[wildwest]

This thread is highly upsetting to me.  I have thought about it many times over the past few days.  I live on a busy stretch of rural highway and see dead cats along the side of the road all of the time.  Some are wild, feral cats, whereas others are family pets that were let out of their homes at night.  I feel terrible for each of them.

Obscure--please let us know when/if the cat returns. 

Please do give the kitties to a shelter so that they can go up for adoption.  I'm sure someone will take them and they will be fine.