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Author Topic: Babies pooping and puking  (Read 5510 times)
groundhog
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« Reply #15 on: July 18, 2007, 09:25:50 PM »

On my last trip through O'Hare, I was walking past a line of people waiting for security checks, when a baby being held by a man leaned out over his arm and threw up.  The sick part?  The woman (could only be the baby's mom) caught most of it in her hands.  I was amazed and appalled at the same time. 

I had amazingly perfectly healthy kids who almost never got sick, never threw up.  DD was 3 before she threw up and, yes, I did catch it in my hands because it was red juice over a white carpet.  Good reflexes- I caught most of it and saved the carpet. 
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crazybatlady
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« Reply #16 on: July 18, 2007, 09:39:06 PM »

Oh. My.

cbl
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sequoia_sun
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« Reply #17 on: July 18, 2007, 10:12:47 PM »

This is all truly incredible. I am in awe.
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magimax
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« Reply #18 on: July 18, 2007, 10:15:33 PM »

Not quite the same thing, but I once picked up a kitten who was pooping on the carpet to put him outside and wound up with poop all over me. 

Today my grandma's evil cat peed and pooped all over the vet.
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Нема лоша ракиа, има малко.
sequoia_sun
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« Reply #19 on: July 18, 2007, 10:20:32 PM »

Not quite the same thing, but I once picked up a kitten who was pooping on the carpet to put him outside and wound up with poop all over me. 

Today my grandma's evil cat peed and pooped all over the vet.

That is tuly evil, I am laughing so hard, I may pee on myself.
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magimax
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« Reply #20 on: July 18, 2007, 10:49:04 PM »

Not quite the same thing, but I once picked up a kitten who was pooping on the carpet to put him outside and wound up with poop all over me. 

Today my grandma's evil cat peed and pooped all over the vet.

That is tuly evil, I am laughing so hard, I may pee on myself.
You've never had a horse/donkey pee or poop on you?  I'd think that would be a fairly common risk of shoeing. 
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Нема лоша ракиа, има малко.
basilratbane
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« Reply #21 on: July 19, 2007, 02:47:23 AM »

In the movie Freddy Got Fingered, someone gets half drowned in elephant cum.

Cackle.
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sequoia_sun
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« Reply #22 on: July 19, 2007, 09:48:39 AM »

Not quite the same thing, but I once picked up a kitten who was pooping on the carpet to put him outside and wound up with poop all over me. 

Today my grandma's evil cat peed and pooped all over the vet.

That is tuly evil, I am laughing so hard, I may pee on myself.
You've never had a horse/donkey pee or poop on you?  I'd think that would be a fairly common risk of shoeing. 

Never. They poop, but in working on the hind feet, one is off to the side, so it falls below the tail, never on me. It did startle me the first time, until I realized I am out of the line of fire, so to speak. Never peed while I was working directly on them, very occasionally they will in between feet. The strategically placed farrier is never kicked or s**t on!
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teeban
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« Reply #23 on: July 19, 2007, 11:57:33 AM »

In the movie Freddy Got Fingered, someone gets half drowned in elephant cum.

Cackle.

There's a movie entitled Freddy Got Fingered!?! That sounds wrong by itself, and the elephant cum reference doesn't help matters.
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americanist
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« Reply #24 on: July 19, 2007, 05:24:59 PM »

Noodled, it's even worse than you could imagine. I saw about fifteen minutes on hotel cable at a conference. When I go to hotels, I always insist on watching the HBO and Showtime and all the other channels I can't afford at home. Sadly, FGF was the only movie on, and I figured I'd watch it just to get my movie fix, but I couldn't take more than a few minutes.

You just can't imagine.
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basilratbane
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« Reply #25 on: July 20, 2007, 03:55:55 AM »

Freddy Got Fingered makes Beavis and Butthead look like Mother Teresa.

But the brilliant minds on this forum will recognize that it is a divine and dastardly reinterpretation of the prodigal son. It isn't just about elephant cum.

I was once someone's son.

Cackle.

http://archive.salon.com/ent/movies/review/2001/04/20/freddy/print.html
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beldame
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« Reply #26 on: July 20, 2007, 11:20:21 AM »

Expurgated version of story:
I had the flu, 8-month-old baby recovering from flu. Baby makes the cappucino noise from the diaper region that signals diarrhea flood: pchshwoooooosch.....or something like that. I carry the baby to the changing table, and remove diaper, miraculously, before any spillage occurs. Then the smell hits me, and I need to puke. So I lift poo-covered baby off table and try to get him to the crib so I can go puke in the toilet, but I don't make it. Blargh! All over baby, all over carpet, all over ecru Classic Pooh crib bedding, all over wall...
Then I spend about half an hour cleaning up  fishy diarrhea and puke from the beige berber carpet and doing laundry.
 Boy, do I dislike babies.
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mj_romo
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« Reply #27 on: July 20, 2007, 04:10:43 PM »

Quote
While sitting on my lap, said 6 month old daughter exploded out her pants, all over herself and, of course, me.

I had this exact thing happen with my then 3-month old at my uncle's funeral about a month ago.  And when I stood up to leave and deal with the problem, what had oozed onto my pants slid down them and plopped all over my toes. 
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edwidge
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« Reply #28 on: July 20, 2007, 06:26:48 PM »

We spend a lot of time talking about poop and farts at our house. We have a few family words for certain kinds of poops: a smellet is a small, hard, stinky ball of poo, and a dugong is a large, oblong poo. Sometimes one of the kids produces a family of dugongs, and we (as the proud parents) are called in to take an admiring look.
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realfrancie
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« Reply #29 on: July 20, 2007, 08:04:21 PM »

We spend a lot of time talking about poop and farts at our house. We have a few family words for certain kinds of poops: a smellet is a small, hard, stinky ball of poo, and a dugong is a large, oblong poo. Sometimes one of the kids produces a family of dugongs, and we (as the proud parents) are called in to take an admiring look.

Let us not forget the dingleberry.  It is as it sounds.
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