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[midwest_abd]

I'm reaching the end of my revisions and will probably defend this fall.  I had planned a spring defense, but was totally derailed by a family emergency. Friends and colleagues don't all know about the new plan, and everyone I see asks me "Are you done yet?"  Any suggestions on how to politely respond to this question?  I've been giving a little self-deprecating laugh rather than telling folks my life story or offering violence to anyone, but it would be great to have a response that tactfully tells people never to bring up the subject again.  Thanks for your help!

[not_a_gradstudent1]

Any suggestions on how to politely respond to this question?

I've been resorting to the "glare of death" lately. On better days, I just say, "no, but I'll let you know when I am."

[wannabeprof]

Don't tell him this, but I've taken to passing the blame to my advisor.  "I'm making revisions" or "I'm waiting for him to get back to me" is easier than explaining what's going on.  That or blame a vague bureaucratic snafu.

[joey_fan]

I pull the "bureaucratic snafu" card all the time. I like blaming the Bureaucracy for things because 1. everybody understands, and 2. nobody feels personally at fault.

Don't tell him this, but I've taken to passing the blame to my advisor.  "I'm making revisions" or "I'm waiting for him to get back to me" is easier than explaining what's going on.  That or blame a vague bureaucratic snafu.

[goingcrazy]

Unfortunately, I have slowly become a very defensive person regarding this question. My former friend went to grad school straight from her BA and received a Doctorate in Physical therapy in three years. That is how long the program is. A terminal MA is not required and in fact, an undergrad in the program can get the degree in two years if they start off their BA with that intention. When I am around people that know the both of us I feel the need to explain the difference when they ask me the horrid question!

Really, I should just say, "No."

[phdbliss]

If you're super irritated by the question (and/or the person doing the asking), and you want an immediate exit, you can respond much like I would to similarly irritating people who want to know when my husband and I are going to have children: Smile politely, grit your teeth, and ask: "Why do you want to know?"

A slightly nicer thing to say is "How come? You must really want to give me a nice present when I'm done, huh?"

Then of course there's always the quote from my advisor who says "You're done when we say you're done". That usually deters people from further questioning.

[dyst_uk]

Unfortunately, I have slowly become a very defensive person regarding this question. My former friend went to grad school straight from her BA and received a Doctorate in Physical therapy in three years. That is how long the program is. A terminal MA is not required and in fact, an undergrad in the program can get the degree in two years if they start off their BA with that intention. When I am around people that know the both of us I feel the need to explain the difference when they ask me the horrid question!

Really, I should just say, "No."

I can identify with this feeling.  A lot of my contemporaries have long since finished PhDs in the more established sciences.  This means that I not only get asked why I'm still at uni, but I also encounter a lack of understanding about PhDs where you define the topic youself.  I have spent hours explaining to friends that whilst they may have found a PhD topic by going to a professor in their faculty and asking for one, it does not work that way for all subjects.

[bio_prof_]

I'm reaching the end of my revisions and will probably defend this fall.  I had planned a spring defense, but was totally derailed by a family emergency. Friends and colleagues don't all know about the new plan, and everyone I see asks me "Are you done yet?"  Any suggestions on how to politely respond to this question?  I've been giving a little self-deprecating laugh rather than telling folks my life story or offering violence to anyone, but it would be great to have a response that tactfully tells people never to bring up the subject again.  Thanks for your help!

"Go piss up a rope"
"Leave me the hell alone"
"Didn't know it was a race"

"Well, yes; all I have to complete the amp-resistance construct of the FUK transcription factor, which entails a directional cloning using SalII and EcoRI. Similar constructs have proven difficult to grow, so I will try reducing the amp concentration by 0.02 mg/ml to increase permissibility. I have also tinkered with the incubation temperature, which has yeilded 20% more clones; several of which are in sequencing now..."

(Eyes glaze over.)

Repeat as necessary.

[midwest_abd]

Many thanks, folks. 

I'm a historian, so bio_prof's brilliant strategy won't work quite as well for me, but I'm sure I can come up with something appropriately obfuscatory.

[gennimom]

I blame the state. Literally. I was supposed to be able to collect data from them. Now I have to do it all myself. Next spring. 1600 students worth.

[yellowtractor]

I always used to say "No."  I also had a variant response, which was "No.  Go away."  Together these seemed to cover most situations.