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[epistephiliac]

I was originally going to start a topic just to gush about how much I love my advisor, but decided to make the subject broader and riff a bit off the "dream man/woman" threads. It also occurred to me that not everyone is looking for the same things in their relationship with their academic advisor/dissertation chair/mentor/etc.. I feel extremely fortunate to have stumbled into such a terrific and productive situation, but I know not everyone is so lucky. Regardless of what your actual relationship with your advisor is or was, what would your dream advisor be like? What is important to you in this kind of relationship? Do (or did) you have it?

In my case, things I find extremely important include:

- Sense that s/he cares about my success
- Someone I can approach with questions about my work, the discipline, the ins and outs of academia in general, etc., without hesitation
- Encourages me to work autonomously as much as possible, but is always available to brainstorm or discuss how to get around roadblocks
- Very high standards, but doesn't assume that there is nothing else to life besides work
- Prompt, useful feedback
- Willingness to introduce me into his/her professional network and help me navigate the mysterious waters of journal editors, conference division officers, and other political aspects of the job
- Mutual respect

Nice bonuses, but not necessarily essential:

- Someone who is fun to have a conversation with about things unrelated to work
- Sense of humor
- Overall generosity of spirit

My advisor is such a role model for me: a person who embodies everything I aspire to professionally, and who is also a terrific human being with a rich personal life. I am learning a lot about how to manage this academic life, and how to work with my own graduate students (I hope) one day. Interestingly, some students find this person very intimidating--not so much personally, but in terms of academic expectations. This is also something I'd love to learn to emulate, frankly, but I'm probably the least intimidating person on the planet.

Your turn.

[grad_geek]

Someone who will go beyond just answering my questions, and actually guide towards the questions I should be asking but haven't thought of on my own.

[pandamonium]

Someone who doesn't require that I put his girlfriends name (from another school) as first author on my research presentations (which she has never seen).

[vardahilwen]

Someone who respects that my time is just as tight/valuable as his/hers, and doesn't:

cancel appointments

show up late for appointments

see another student during my appointment

take the kid who's been lurking in the hall when I'm the one with an appointment

... see a pattern here?