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[dr_evil]

^ Excellent, conjugate!  Here I thought we were going to be fighting the forces of evil that peddle bad fruit, but I'd much rather fight the forces of evil with peddled bad fruit!

I was hoping you were going to use your forces FOR Evil.  C'mon, join us....

So, student emails once at night, gets no response by early morning and, naturally, resends same email.  Yes, I just live attached to my email.  Then, same student comes into the office, clearly remembers nothing from pre-req. course, but wants a good grade.  This person also has a poor grasp of language and believes that, if I change the way I present material, hu will do better.  I sense this will not end well...for either of us.

[scampster]

^ Excellent, conjugate!  Here I thought we were going to be fighting the forces of evil that peddle bad fruit, but I'd much rather fight the forces of evil with peddled bad fruit!

I was hoping you were going to use your forces FOR Evil.  C'mon, join us....

While I would like to think that our crime stopping team is uncorruptable, I also think that our underripe citrus and mushy peaches will be no match against sharks. We might as well concede defeat and join the other side...

[msparticularity]

Its a summary.  Leave your emotions out of the paper.  Stay objective.
Repeat x 44. 

I second your vent.  Some of my students don't seem to understand that personal anecdotes on a peripherally related issue do not equal analysis of the assigned article.  Example: article is about racial difficulties in X community under Y circumstances.  Student writes paper about disagreement she once had with differently-raced neighbor.

That's interesting and all, but ...

At some point early in my doctoral studies, I read a book (the name of which I cannot remember, but I think it was by Sternberg) that helped me make sense of this phenomenon. Developmentally speaking, while our students have reached the age/level of abstract thought, it's not all that abstract yet; most are still at the level of what this author calls "romantic identification." This is characterized by the need to project themselves into any situation, as opposed to being able to stand back from it--thus the anecdotes.

My best success with this age group was asking them to do both--to begin with their personal responses and ideas, and then move into the analytic framework I had given them. I found that when I kept asking them to get past the anecdote they fought me, because they were determined to defend it as legit. When I acknowledged it and then pushed them to go deeper, it seemed to strike them as reasonable.

[concordancia]

I have just sent a second email to IT. I hope they answer this one, given the general uselessness of my office computer for the last week.

[concordancia]

Well, that was a prompt response, but I have no intention of dragging my desktop across campus for one of your techs to take a look at.

[gennimom]

Maybe they think you have a laptop? I mean, there isn't much difference between a laptop and a desktop is there, really? ;)

[vardahilwen]

Its a summary.  Leave your emotions out of the paper.  Stay objective.
Repeat x 44. 

I second your vent.  Some of my students don't seem to understand that personal anecdotes on a peripherally related issue do not equal analysis of the assigned article.  Example: article is about racial difficulties in X community under Y circumstances.  Student writes paper about disagreement she once had with differently-raced neighbor.

That's interesting and all, but ...

At some point early in my doctoral studies, I read a book (the name of which I cannot remember, but I think it was by Sternberg) that helped me make sense of this phenomenon. Developmentally speaking, while our students have reached the age/level of abstract thought, it's not all that abstract yet; most are still at the level of what this author calls "romantic identification." This is characterized by the need to project themselves into any situation, as opposed to being able to stand back from it--thus the anecdotes.

My best success with this age group was asking them to do both--to begin with their personal responses and ideas, and then move into the analytic framework I had given them. I found that when I kept asking them to get past the anecdote they fought me, because they were determined to defend it as legit. When I acknowledged it and then pushed them to go deeper, it seemed to strike them as reasonable.

Good info, thanks.

[biomancer]

Up until this point things were going so well (4 weeks in now)...

Snowflake has been routinely late to lab, clearly disorganized, clearly confused.  Snowflake missed a couple quizzes already.  Today was the first lecture exam - 100 points, 25 matching, 75 multiple-choice, and a short-answer 2-point bonus question.  I use this format *at the request* of my students, who found my all-short-answer exams too hard (and I didn't want to grade them anymore anyway).

In the interest of making my life easier, the multiple choice questions get answered on a scan-tron sheet.

47 students have no problem figuring this out - especially after I said "Write your answers for the Matching questions on the exam sheet.  For the multiple-choice questions, please use the scan-tron sheet.  Notice that I start the numbering for those questions at 1 again, so you can start at 1 on the scan-tron sheet."

Snowflake, however, gets to the end of the allotted hour for the exam and complains that (1) this was far too long for a college exam; (Really?  Then why were 40 of the 48 people in this class already done at 45 minutes?) and (2)  he didn't know it was scan-tron, could he have a few extra minutes to fill in the bubbles that correspond to his circled answers?  Snowflake then proceeded to attempt to lecture me on what kinds of exams were appropriate for college courses while I generously gave him a few minutes to fill in the bubbles (which, Yes, I know, I did not have to do and probably shouldn't have done.)  I shut him down quickly, but frankly, I'm about ready to toss this a$$hat out of my classroom for good.

He's failing the course as it is.  I almost can't wait to see how poorly he did on the exam

And, oh yes, Snowflake insists he's going to medical school when he graduates.  I thought I'd left this kind of egotistical idiot behind when I left PretentiousSLAC.  No doubt he'll blame me when he doesn't get accepted into medical school.

<sigh> oh well.  Off to teach my other section of lab.

[barred_owl]

There's one in every bunch, isn't there, biomancer?  Perhaps there is some evil cloning experiment going on somewhere that is creating an army of students like that (kind of like Saruman's orc factory in LOTR).  Rest assured, though, you went the extra mile for this student--and at least we here on the fora appreciate that you did so!

My vent:  Dear husband--Did we have to cut down that one trunk of the birch tree yesterday?  Really?  Couldn't we have waited until the leaves had at least fallen off and the weather was a touch cooler?  Oh, and when I'm in the middle of trying to compile job application materials and you say, "Could you help me for a minute?" you'd better mean ONE minute--not two frakking afternoons spent cutting off branches, loading them into the tractor cart, etc., etc.!  Do me a favor, now, would you?  Please do not whine to me all evening about how sore you are after all that hard work.  You decided to do this lumberjack routine, not me.  If you are inclined to whine, I will remind you that I know where the loppers are and I know how to use them!  /end rant

[spectacle]

Dear kind geniuses in the registration office,

If you send one more student to me with the instruction that "her class is full, but if you go ask really politely, I'll bet she'll let you in"  I'm going to come over there and shove those add/drop forms down your throat.  If I let every student you send over add, I'd have 50 students in each class. There are caps for a reason.  THERE ARE CAPS FOR A REASON.  Tell them the damn class is full. 

No one needs Snack Cake Consumption to graduate, it's just the favorite freshman elective.  Tell them to take something else.  Get a freaking grip.  QUIT SENDING THEM TO ME.  Do your goddamn job.  Jeez.

[titian]

And, oh yes, Snowflake insists he's going to medical school when he graduates.  I thought I'd left this kind of egotistical idiot behind when I left PretentiousSLAC.  No doubt he'll blame me when he doesn't get accepted into medical school.

<sigh> oh well.  Off to teach my other section of lab.

That is one situation where I will gladly take the blame credit. 

My experience has been that at PretentiousSLAC, the student would them whine to the Dean and/or President, and threaten to have their rich alumni relative withhold a donation.  At less pretentious places they still whine, but the threats are different.   


<sigh>  I had the first crying student meltdown of the semester in my office today (an advisee).  It's not even midterm yet.

[dept_geek]

Dear online student:

My time is NOT your time. Stop whining that I am rude for not getting back to you this weekend. It simply was not going to happen and you lying to the dean does not make me any happier.

You owe me an apology, but I suspect that will not happen.

[mountainguy]

Biomancer: Hang in there and try not to let student get to you (easier said than done, I know). I get a handful of students like that each semester who are convinced that I'm the only obstacle between them and law school. I'd almost pay to see what would happen to them if they somehow made it into 1L. Almost.

Smithfield: I had a similar problem when I taught popular elective course a few years ago. I finally posted a sign on my office door that said in large letters "No Overrides," devised a form e-mail, and strategically avoided the phone (I share an office with several other people that has just one phone with no voicemail capability, so it's easy to claim that messages got lost in the shuffle). That didn't eliminate the desperate pleas entirely, but it reduced them to a mere trickle.

Dept_Geek: Good grief. I hope you have a sensible dean who will take the student's whining with a grain of salt.

[dept_geek]

Dept_Geek: Good grief. I hope you have a sensible dean who will take the student's whining with a grain of salt.

Thanks, mountainguy. Dean can be sensible on occasion. I hope this is one of those times.


On edit. No. It's not one of those times. Cripe.

[mountainguy]

No thanks, but I won't be having spam for dinner. It tastes nasty and it's bad for my cholesterol.