zarathustra
Because the Chron says I'm a
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 9,942
Procrastifabulous by nature.
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« Reply #30 on: May 01, 2007, 10:28:50 AM » |
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Our new cat kicks ass. She is a year old and just started going outside this spring. She is such a beautiful soft kitty I was surprised that she turned out to be hell on four paws. She slays the neighborhood birds with frightening skill. One early evening last week she came up to the door with a freshly killed bat in her mouth! The really surprising thing is that she totally intimidates and runs off all the other cats in the neighborhood. Our neighbors harbor lots of tough half-wild underfed cats. Our kitty charges at them if they set foot in our yard and sends them packing. She has no fear.
She is also shedding huge quantities of that soft long golden hair all over the house.
I have three words for you, Larry. The Zoom Groom. It is some new fangled grooming tool that drives pets into ectasy and seems to debulk every last bit of loose fur. Ooh, do tell...where is this Zoom Groom available? |
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"...undigested hummus trading real estate for this fire dance.." ~C.S.
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appleaddict
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« Reply #31 on: May 01, 2007, 10:40:31 AM » |
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I have nightlights throughout the house because the cats not only barf in walk spaces but they like to sit on the stairs and try to take me out as I walk down them.
Isn't it amazing how they have no fear? I have stepped on cats in the middle of the night and yet they refuse to move as I climb up and down the stairs with all manner of things: laundry, drinks, paint cans, food, lumber, and yes, even the evil vacuum cleaner. They NEVER MOVE. This is a great thread. It is cracking me up as I try to dissertate in this noisy library, continually casting dirty glances at chit-chatting undergrads. |
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anthroid
Annoying bad luck snails
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 16,002
No happy socks because nobody gets Manitoba.
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« Reply #32 on: May 01, 2007, 10:52:02 AM » |
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Our new cat kicks ass. She is a year old and just started going outside this spring. She is such a beautiful soft kitty I was surprised that she turned out to be hell on four paws. She slays the neighborhood birds with frightening skill. One early evening last week she came up to the door with a freshly killed bat in her mouth! The really surprising thing is that she totally intimidates and runs off all the other cats in the neighborhood. Our neighbors harbor lots of tough half-wild underfed cats. Our kitty charges at them if they set foot in our yard and sends them packing. She has no fear.
She is also shedding huge quantities of that soft long golden hair all over the house.
Not to throw cold water on anything but...my dear friend, Larry, Larry, Larry...your cat's ability to kill neighborhood birds is not a good thing. It's a bad thing. Songbirds are disappearing at unprecedented rates in part because so many cats are preying on birds, pretty much past replacement rate. I keep my cats indoors in part for this reason. They love stalking the birds that come around but don't actually kill them. That seems a bit more ecologically sound. Just sayin', is all. |
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Do you hail from Planet Hello Kitty? It's like an action movie, but boring.
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appleaddict
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« Reply #33 on: May 01, 2007, 11:06:12 AM » |
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Our new cat kicks ass. She is a year old and just started going outside this spring. She is such a beautiful soft kitty I was surprised that she turned out to be hell on four paws. She slays the neighborhood birds with frightening skill. One early evening last week she came up to the door with a freshly killed bat in her mouth! The really surprising thing is that she totally intimidates and runs off all the other cats in the neighborhood. Our neighbors harbor lots of tough half-wild underfed cats. Our kitty charges at them if they set foot in our yard and sends them packing. She has no fear.
She is also shedding huge quantities of that soft long golden hair all over the house.
Not to throw cold water on anything but...my dear friend, Larry, Larry, Larry...your cat's ability to kill neighborhood birds is not a good thing. It's a bad thing. Songbirds are disappearing at unprecedented rates in part because so many cats are preying on birds, pretty much past replacement rate. I keep my cats indoors in part for this reason. They love stalking the birds that come around but don't actually kill them. That seems a bit more ecologically sound. Just sayin', is all. Screened-in sunrooms are great for this--provides kitty TV with realistic sound, smell, and proximity, but no dead songbirds (and being indoors is also better for the cat...ask any vet). I'm also just sayin'. |
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mchap11
Often absent
Senior member
Posts: 816
A fan of Harold, that most dangerous of all sheep
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« Reply #34 on: May 01, 2007, 11:14:28 AM » |
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Someone sent the following to me once upon a time. Hopefully not everyoner has read it:
Excerpts from a Dog's diary:
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Excerpts from a Cat's diary
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh
meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat
another house plant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by
weaving around their feet while they were walking
almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these
vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit
on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the
headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I
am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to
plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are.
For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture.
This time however it included a burning foamy chemical
called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a
liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb
still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their
accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the
event. However, I could hear the noise. More
importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to
MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and
how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are
flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely
released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has
got to be an informant, and speaks with them
regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due
to his current placement in the metal room his safety
is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of
time......
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The sheep comment explained: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TeiSsJ3G_0"I am just going outside and may be some time." (Captain Lawrence Oates, Antarctic explorer, before walking out into a blizzard to face certain death, 1912) |
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appleaddict
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« Reply #35 on: May 01, 2007, 11:17:17 AM » |
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Someone sent the following to me once upon a time. Hopefully not everyoner has read it:
Excerpts from a Dog's diary:
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Excerpts from a Cat's diary
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh
meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat
another house plant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by
weaving around their feet while they were walking
almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these
vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit
on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the
headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I
am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to
plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are.
For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture.
This time however it included a burning foamy chemical
called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a
liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb
still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their
accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the
event. However, I could hear the noise. More
importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to
MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and
how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are
flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely
released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has
got to be an informant, and speaks with them
regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due
to his current placement in the metal room his safety
is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of
time......
Oh, I just love this. It's so perfect. Except one of our cats is actually much more like a dog--he's just not a plotter and is not subversive at all. The other one, on the other hand...this is a great example of how I am certain his mind works. |
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extinct
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« Reply #36 on: May 01, 2007, 02:31:56 PM » |
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Our new cat kicks ass. She is a year old and just started going outside this spring. She is such a beautiful soft kitty I was surprised that she turned out to be hell on four paws. She slays the neighborhood birds with frightening skill. One early evening last week she came up to the door with a freshly killed bat in her mouth! The really surprising thing is that she totally intimidates and runs off all the other cats in the neighborhood. Our neighbors harbor lots of tough half-wild underfed cats. Our kitty charges at them if they set foot in our yard and sends them packing. She has no fear.
She is also shedding huge quantities of that soft long golden hair all over the house.
I have three words for you, Larry. The Zoom Groom. It is some new fangled grooming tool that drives pets into ectasy and seems to debulk every last bit of loose fur. Ooh, do tell...where is this Zoom Groom available? I got mine at a fancy-ish pet store, so I am not sure if the mega-pet stores carry it yet, you might try petsmart. But you can get it online from amazon. It looks very boring, it is a rubbery nubby thing, with no bristles. But it just seems to suck up the hair which sticks to the rubber, and animals seem to go wild over it. |
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magimax
Magical
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 2,199
meow
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« Reply #37 on: May 01, 2007, 02:36:58 PM » |
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My cat who dares to go outside to graze on the grass is terrified of the birds. Apparently one attacked him while he was under the care of hubby, so I missed the drama. Ever since then though, he keeps an eye out for swallow-shaped missiles.
So no risk of him eating songbird babies. He's too fat to get into a tree, anyway.
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Нема лоша ракиа, има малко.
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bibliothecula
Academic ronin
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 3,907
like Bunnicula, only with books
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« Reply #38 on: May 01, 2007, 02:38:50 PM » |
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Mistress Morgan, Queen of the Long Grasses Behind the Garage, has decided that, after a three year sabbatical, she is once again a hunter.
Over the past few days, I have had three live mice brought into the home for my killing and eating pleasure.
She takes care of me. Thank you, Mistress Morgan.
Grasshopper, you made my day with this post. My parents recently inherited a cat from a neighbor who died, and I keep trying to convince my dad that the moles and voles and mice really are love-offerings. He thinks he can somehow train the cat to eat the moles but leave the cute chipmunks and nice songbirds alone. |
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I came. I saw. I cited.
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gennimom
Somewhat Southern (Have I really posted that much?)
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 16,983
Let's get summer over with! Me want snow!
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« Reply #39 on: May 01, 2007, 02:40:23 PM » |
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mchap11, I was laughing so hard, I had tears in my eyes.
So, no I hadn't read it yet!
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...only after reading gm's post, my new mantra is "always listen to gennimom".
Monday reeks! - Garfield The outside of a horse is good for the inside of a person (or something like that). |
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sikora
Looking for something, but forgot what it was.
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 4,910
Arrggh! WTF??
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« Reply #40 on: May 01, 2007, 03:07:22 PM » |
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Laika adds:
Oh, boy! Cat box! My favorite!
ooooo, mom yelling "Bad Laika, that's gross!" bummer
Obscure canine cosmonaut
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Stop plate tectonics!
and while we're at it ...
Free kittens!
and
Free the bound morpheme!
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mchap11
Often absent
Senior member
Posts: 816
A fan of Harold, that most dangerous of all sheep
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« Reply #41 on: May 01, 2007, 03:09:12 PM » |
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mchap11, I was laughing so hard, I had tears in my eyes.
So, no I hadn't read it yet!
I'm glad it was new to you and that you found a moment for laughter, as well as (I assume) spewing. Cheers. |
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The sheep comment explained: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TeiSsJ3G_0"I am just going outside and may be some time." (Captain Lawrence Oates, Antarctic explorer, before walking out into a blizzard to face certain death, 1912) |
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gennimom
Somewhat Southern (Have I really posted that much?)
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 16,983
Let's get summer over with! Me want snow!
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« Reply #42 on: May 01, 2007, 03:13:45 PM » |
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I was trying seriously hard not to spew. I don't have a spew shield and the university wouldn't like it if I spewed all over their computer.
Really, I could see the truth in that. I've seen dogs and cats that were apparently thinking those thoughts.
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...only after reading gm's post, my new mantra is "always listen to gennimom".
Monday reeks! - Garfield The outside of a horse is good for the inside of a person (or something like that). |
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mchap11
Often absent
Senior member
Posts: 816
A fan of Harold, that most dangerous of all sheep
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« Reply #43 on: May 01, 2007, 03:17:02 PM » |
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We have a psychotic Siamese,`nuf said? Wouldn't trade her for the world. But what a weird cat.
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The sheep comment explained: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TeiSsJ3G_0"I am just going outside and may be some time." (Captain Lawrence Oates, Antarctic explorer, before walking out into a blizzard to face certain death, 1912) |
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see_wolf
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« Reply #44 on: May 01, 2007, 03:19:06 PM » |
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I just moved from a very rural apartment to a nice house. My kitties are adjusting well - except they seem to be disappointed there are no field mice to hunt. My big boy will carry paper, socks, towels, or whatever he feels like "hunting" to me in the middle of the night, howling the whole way. My tiny girl stalks the big boy. My kitten (1 year old now) hunts me. (They don't go outside)
I had a stray hanging around my house this winter, so I put food and water out for it. When the snow melted, I had 3 mice carcasses on my patio, and one by my car. I think it was a "thank you".
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