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[j_source]

71. Mention Esperanto at random in every lecture at least 3 times. Speak it on ocassion.

72. Wear a Startrek (original series) uniform to class  Never mention it.

73. Call all male students Jordan and all female students Tiffany.

74. When a student disagrees say "You can kiss my furry ass."

75. Lead the students in a rousing sing-along of the classic Monty Phython song "Sit on my face and tell me that you love me.

[goldenapple]

76. When discussing a "controversial" topic, present one side of the argument, then dash out of the classroom. Return wearing a cape, floppy hat and striped bandit costume; then present the other side. This avoids conflict with parents and adminstrators, as it was the "Bandit" who discused evolution, etc., not you!

77. Spice up your class with actual spices! Add zip to your discussion of 20th century Latin-American lit by dusting students' homework papers with spicy pepper flakes! And don't even think about discussing Edgar Allen Poe unless you've scented the room with some Baltimore Crab Boil seasoning in the humidifier!

78. Everybody loves Shirley Temple, right? So bring a lollypop to class and deliver your lecture in a cutesy-poo Shirley Temple voice. Ask questions, and when students answer, say, "That's not it, you big silly!" and give your lollypop a big lick.
 

[chemchick]

79.  Before class, obtain a peppermint stick and scrape off the red parts.  Substitute for a piece of chalk in your classroom.  Sometime during class, make sure you grab the peppermint stick and make like you're going to write on the board.  Instead, stop and stare pensively into the air and start munching on the peppermint stick.

[summers_off]

Side note:
You can eat chalk (the non-toxic kind).  It is just calcium.  I saw a prof do this during a creativity lecture...

[happyhistory]

80.  Give very indepth, erudite lecture, lots of big words....stop in mid sentence halfway through the lecture...start pacing back and forth repeating "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" over and over and over again.  After about 5 minutes of pacing and saying nothing but "I'm sorry," abruptly leave the classroom w/o further comment.  (I witnessed this gem first hand)

Great list all.  Keep 'em coming! 

[goldenapple]

81. Stop in the middle of a lecture before a hundred students and point dramatically at a student in the first row. Then say: "You! I know why you're here. THEY sent you. I know they sent you. They're watching me, and they sent YOU to spy on me. But I know all about it." Wag your finger dramatically at this point. "Yes, I know all about it!" Return to lecture.

and from the same professor (of classics, at a large, European U)

82. Tell students who come to your office hours that the CIA is spying on you. Then lean forward and ask, with great sincerity: "You think I'm crazy don't you? Tell me the truth, do you think I'm insane?" Insist that the student answer honestly.



 

[gondring]

Side note:
You can eat chalk (the non-toxic kind).  It is just calcium.  I saw a prof do this during a creativity lecture...

Well, not just calcium.  Real chalk is a form of limestone, which is composed of calcium carbonate, but most classroom chalk ("dustless") is now made primarily of gypsum (calcium sulfate), along with binding agents, etc.  Gypsum is also a primary component of drywall.   

I suppose chomping a chunk of drywall would grab some attention, too, but be careful--some of those other ingredients can be fiberglass, fire retardants, etc.  On the other hand, some say chalk can be dastardly! http://www.uft.org/news/teacher/speak/dastardly_chalk/

Which reminds me of (83) the instructor who had our math class turn our desks 90-degrees, so we could "experience what it was like to be different [in society]."  The fact that we students were all in the same situation muted the point, but the instructor seemed unaware of this and was quite pleased at his creative implementation of awareness training. 

[kaysixteen]

84.  I have always found that decimating the class after a poor quiz is an excellent study and behavioral motivator.

[chickabowwow]

85.  Collect all pens, pencils and other traditional writing instruments.  Distribute needles, and announce that they are to take notes and write quizzes and essays in blood.  If they are uncomfortable with this, tell them that they are free to stock up on clay tablets.

[iomhaigh]

86.  Mandatory singing of "Wannabe" at the top of every class.   

[verbena]

87. Oregano.

[zarathustra]

88.  Have various sartorial emergencies a la Janet Jackson.  Justin Timberlake assistance optional. 

[spork]

62. Refer to African-Americans with the n-word and tell the class that you're allowed to say it because you're black.
Yep--another true example.

I often refer to myself as an African-American in class, because 200,000 years ago all hominids were in Africa.

[jackofallchem]

89.  Pretend to be a different professor in the department.  Make sure this professor is a different sex than you.  See how long you can keep it up.  Get the other professor to go along with it (switch nameplates on your offices).

[careerbugger]

Old, old thread but I had to add this-one of my Profs in college undergrad did this:

Walk in, cross your arms, kick your feet up onto the desk in front of you, lean back and say in a cocky voice, "When is this teacher coming in? He's late. I hear he's a real a$$$&&&." Sit quietly and observe the rest of the class and what they say, then get up and walk to the lectern and introduce yourself as the teacher.