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[athena1]

Well, not everyone does pray, so it just would've been more inclusive to say "moment of silence," or "moment of thought," that's all. As you point out, it's the thinking that's important.

Exactly. When I was on the dance team in high school, we were told by the colonel to join hands and she led a prayer to JC. The sneaky instructor would wonder off so she couldn't be blamed for this occurring. Like I was going to say, "um, I don't believe in JC. Please don't use his name." It's the same at every public high school graduation I've ever attended. They don't ask for a moment of silence. They tell you to bow your heads and someone recites a prayer, usually in the name of JC. This blows my mind. I have no problem with a moment of silence or remembrance, but it's not okay in a public-supported setting for the leader/authority to stand up and coerce everyone into praying.

[husqvarna]

Well, not everyone does pray, so it just would've been more inclusive to say "moment of silence," or "moment of thought," that's all. As you point out, it's the thinking that's important.

Exactly. When I was on the dance team in high school, we were told by the colonel to join hands and she led a prayer to JC. The sneaky instructor would wonder off so she couldn't be blamed for this occurring. Like I was going to say, "um, I don't believe in JC. Please don't use his name." It's the same at every public high school graduation I've ever attended. They don't ask for a moment of silence. They tell you to bow your heads and someone recites a prayer, usually in the name of JC. This blows my mind. I have no problem with a moment of silence or remembrance, but it's not okay in a public-supported setting for the leader/authority to stand up and coerce everyone into praying.

I'm not denying that they do this, but I'm wondering where.  Is this just in the Bible belt?  I've just never seen it. 

[dr_stones]

Well, not everyone does pray, so it just would've been more inclusive to say "moment of silence," or "moment of thought," that's all. As you point out, it's the thinking that's important.

Exactly. When I was on the dance team in high school, we were told by the colonel to join hands and she led a prayer to JC. The sneaky instructor would wonder off so she couldn't be blamed for this occurring. Like I was going to say, "um, I don't believe in JC. Please don't use his name." It's the same at every public high school graduation I've ever attended. They don't ask for a moment of silence. They tell you to bow your heads and someone recites a prayer, usually in the name of JC. This blows my mind. I have no problem with a moment of silence or remembrance, but it's not okay in a public-supported setting for the leader/authority to stand up and coerce everyone into praying.

Sometimes you can learn a lot if you read a little further into the thread ---

Would it make you feel any better if I clarified to note that I said "moment of silence for prayer or reflection?" I seem to recall that is what I said; I also observed I had probably violated about four policies and we went on with the seminar. 

I do not ask to be excused.  Merely heard. THX

[rodentmind]

Huh? I think the point is just that the word "prayer" is loaded, and during a time of tragedy when you wanted to cast a wide net it might have been best to just leave it out entirely. Isn't that what you were asking people to comment on?

[aardvark]

I only teach on Mondays, back-to-back sections of senior seminar.  Last night, for the second class, for no reason, I asked my class to start with a moment of prayer for the brothers and sisters they lost at VTech.

Public university, probably violated several policies, but I really could give a rat's ass.  All I know is that 30+ kids were sitting, thinking about the future, sure that what they did that day would not be their last acts on Earth.  And I also realized for the first time that I'd be willing to die to save one (or several) of my students.

Well, not everyone does pray, so it just would've been more inclusive to say "moment of silence," or "moment of thought," that's all. As you point out, it's the thinking that's important.

This post prompted me to consult Google to see what percentage of Americans pray.  According to may polls, the percentage of Americans who pray "regularly" is in the 90% and higher range (daily is around 50%).

If any of you are able to strike an inclusiveness that hits 100% I'm impressed.

By the way, lest anyone misread my posts on this thread, I'm NOT AT ALL RELIGIOUS.

[rodentmind]

I wonder whose polls they were, how many people responded, etc--but especially poll question(s) actually said (pray once a day?). Not because I necessarily doubt the 90% number--so many people are religious, at least to the extent they'll pray if the situation is really desperate.

But, anyway, Juris, using "moment of silence" or "moment of thought" DOES hit 100% inclusiveness. Everyone thinks, right? (Let's hope)

[_touchedbyanoodle_]

This morning, I received an e-mail from a former student who had only recently heard of my son's death. (I know; you're sorry; thank you. No need to reply.) The e-mail was laden with promises that God would come through for me and that she is praying for me.

I get that her intent is kind and I harbor no anger toward her, but that doesn't change my reaction to the e-mail: It's just so presumptuous to assume that everybody believes in God and prayer. Given that not everybody believes in prayer, it's incredibly insensitive to suggest, without knowing one's stance on prayer, that such a thing will help them. I'm anything but comforted by the idea of being "prayed for" because it suggests the belief that your God is willing to make me feel better, though saving my son just wasn't on his "list." It's a ridiculous idea (in my opinion), and only adds to my grief.

That's all I was trying to communicate before... the suggestion of prayer can be harmful/offensive/annoying/whatever. It's not unreasonable to ask that those who believe in prayer be sensitive to those who don't.

My opinion stands, it was inappropriate to use the word "prayer" in the request for a moment of silence, period.

[rodentmind]

myrealname: I have family members there who were not injured. I really am sorry.

[_touchedbyanoodle_]

myrealname: I have family members there who were not injured. I really am sorry.

Lest anyone be confused, my son's death was not a VTech death and happened months ago.

[rodentmind]

myrealname: Okay. Still sorry. And I agree 100% with the rest of your post.

Many people who have a God in their Cosmos really don't understand (or don't care, because they're evangelical) why the sort of situation you cite is so annoying to those who don't have a God in their Cosmos.

[husqvarna]

myrealname, if I were that girl emailing you... certainly praying for you privately but wanting to send something to you... is there any better way to mention that I, in my prayer life, have incorporated you into it as someone for whom I care and am presently acting?  Is it better that I don't mention the actual act of prayer at all, or is there some other way to bring it up that can still be edifying for you?

Hopefully this question doesn't offend you either- I'm honestly trying to feel out, as a religious person, how to address a situation like this if it comes up.  Because as you said, I'm sure she wouldn't have wanted to offend you, and I wouldn't want to offend in such a situation either.

[athena1]

Well, not everyone does pray, so it just would've been more inclusive to say "moment of silence," or "moment of thought," that's all. As you point out, it's the thinking that's important.

Exactly. When I was on the dance team in high school, we were told by the colonel to join hands and she led a prayer to JC. The sneaky instructor would wonder off so she couldn't be blamed for this occurring. Like I was going to say, "um, I don't believe in JC. Please don't use his name." It's the same at every public high school graduation I've ever attended. They don't ask for a moment of silence. They tell you to bow your heads and someone recites a prayer, usually in the name of JC. This blows my mind. I have no problem with a moment of silence or remembrance, but it's not okay in a public-supported setting for the leader/authority to stand up and coerce everyone into praying.

Sometimes you can learn a lot if you read a little further into the thread ---

Would it make you feel any better if I clarified to note that I said "moment of silence for prayer or reflection?" I seem to recall that is what I said; I also observed I had probably violated about four policies and we went on with the seminar. 

I do not ask to be excused.  Merely heard. THX

Dr Stones, I did read the entire thread over several days. I guess I just didn't believe the modification or trust your memory when you initially said you asked your class to start with a moment of prayer. Certainly, you realized you'd get some reactions here that would be critical.

[athena1]

Well, not everyone does pray, so it just would've been more inclusive to say "moment of silence," or "moment of thought," that's all. As you point out, it's the thinking that's important.

Exactly. When I was on the dance team in high school, we were told by the colonel to join hands and she led a prayer to JC. The sneaky instructor would wonder off so she couldn't be blamed for this occurring. Like I was going to say, "um, I don't believe in JC. Please don't use his name." It's the same at every public high school graduation I've ever attended. They don't ask for a moment of silence. They tell you to bow your heads and someone recites a prayer, usually in the name of JC. This blows my mind. I have no problem with a moment of silence or remembrance, but it's not okay in a public-supported setting for the leader/authority to stand up and coerce everyone into praying.

I'm not denying that they do this, but I'm wondering where.  Is this just in the Bible belt?  I've just never seen it. 

In the south.

[_touchedbyanoodle_]

myrealname, if I were that girl emailing you... certainly praying for you privately but wanting to send something to you... is there any better way to mention that I, in my prayer life, have incorporated you into it as someone for whom I care and am presently acting?  Is it better that I don't mention the actual act of prayer at all, or is there some other way to bring it up that can still be edifying for you?

Hopefully this question doesn't offend you either- I'm honestly trying to feel out, as a religious person, how to address a situation like this if it comes up.  Because as you said, I'm sure she wouldn't have wanted to offend you, and I wouldn't want to offend in such a situation either.

"I'm thinking of you," works brilliantly.

[dr_stones]

Sure.  But I've been doing this job for 20 years. 

I think most things end up on chat boards to get reactions.