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[mustbeanon]

OK. Normally I just say "not my problem." But a close friend, an older friend who came to our humanities field late in life, asks me what to do. I don't know; so with her permission I'm asking the Oracle. (That's you, forumites.)

She is a tenured assoc prof at a good state U (R1 in the old scheme), with 2 books and a lot of good articles and well respected in the field. A few years ago she met a man, both in their early 50s, who also came late to the profession, only he came a lot later than she; they're in the same subfield/historical period. He's third year TT at a small liberal arts college about 6 hours drive from her. They have been driving and flying and what not to see each other for the past couple of years, once a month at least.  Personally I think they are perfect for each other; she expresses doubts, often says it is too hard, etc.

Here's the rub: he isn't publishing. At all. At his small school there is huge emphasis on teaching and service, and he is knocking himself out teaching 4 or 5 courses a semester, often in writing courses and general lit, and on a lot of cmtes.  I'm getting this from her, so I don't know, but she says his record is such that he could not make it at all on the job mkt, much less with her trying to get a partner line for him. 

I just got off the phone with her, in despair, truly in despair, that they will never be together, because he is not writing, and won't be mobile on the market. I said, tell him! Tell him that for the sake of your relationship, he needs to PUBLISH LIKE CRAZY and get a job nearer her or ideally in the same town/campus... She says she tells him, but even at her gentlest suggestion of that, he gets all defensive, hurt pride, says she doesn't understand how it is at his small school, that he is working as hard as he can just to get tenure there.  Sounds to me like he resents her success and her 2-2 load, and so they end up fighting about it and she calls me. I said is this fish or cut bait, are you saying you don't want to invest any more time in a relationship that, because of the job mkt, cannot end up in a live-together couple?  She said that is what she's thinking even though she cares for him (as I said I think they are perfect for each other, and believe me she is one odd duck, not easy to find someone right for her, not at 50 and, well, an academic, you all know what that means for relationships).

Anyway. Any advice on any of this, for him, for her, for them both, for me as their (mostly her) friend? 

[latis]

they're in the same subfield/historical period.

Have they talked about publishing together?

[larryc]

The publishing issue is a red herring. It sounds like they are in history or English, yes? Even if he were publishing, it would be very hard going on impossible for him to jump to a TT job in her geographic area.

One of them has to leave academia and go live with the other.  Or not.

[merce]

Wow!

That's mucho suck.

As though it hasn't been hard enough to find an SO now I have to worry about publishing so I might keep one if ever I get one.
Great.


I suppose they could try places where a few different Universities are within driving distance and perhaps consider a different type of position for him than for her at an R1.  If she can get a TT position at a nice R1 it could be possible for him to have a VAP position indefinately or a full-time instructorship or something less glamorous.

[prytania3]

I'm still stuck on "older friend" and "in early fifties."

[mustbeanon]

Not THAT much older, Pry! (grins the 40something)

Her judgment is that he is unmovable, just as larryc says--yes, they're in English lit.  I forgot to mention that I suggested to her that he try go into admin, and then move as an associate Dean or something; she said that would take years, for him to build up credentials in admin and then move. So why doesn't he simply sit down this summer and write a killer, field-changing book?!  (roll of eyes)

It sounds to me like he's in some kind of t-t denial, so happy to have a t-t job at all; and she, ten or so years into it and getting ready to go up for full professor, sees it more realistically--that is, pessimistically.

If they know a relationship is this kind of dead end, then do they just decide to enjoy it for what it is, as long as it lasts, knowing full well the market limits it?  She was talking about "just giving up, just finding someone in town" and I didn't want to say, "FAT CHANCE, he has a better chance on the job market than you do on the dating market!" (ooh, too mean) Maybe I should forward her the longdistance relationship posts.

[infopri]

Mustbeanon, it sounds as though she is more marketable than he is.  Any chance she could move to his school?  Or is the loss in prestige (moving from R1 to SLAC) too great for her to consider?

I'm married to an unmarketable (different reasons) academic, so I sympathize; I could probably land a job easily, if I were free to move, but there is none where I live, especially on the TT.  So she faces the same choice I do:  One of them makes a career sacrifice, or they live far away from each other.

Is there a SLAC a reasonable driving distance from her?  Would he consider life not on the TT?  There might be adjuncting possibilities (okay, a lousy choice, but still...), administration (as someone already mentioned), public schools, vocational schools (BOCES, ITT, etc.), and, of course, the non-academic world.  Would any of these be worth his consideration?

[pink_]

There is another option . . .  maybe.
And that is to not force this relationship into the traditional marital paradigm.  To enjoy each other when they seem each other--make arrangments to spend summers and holidays together and the like and just keep doing what they are doing . . . 

I recognize that this isn't an option that everyone is wiling to consider.  Some couples want to solve the two body problem by both landing in the same place.  Makes sense.  But it that isn't an option, it seems that maybe thinking outside the proverbial box might ease the pressure a little bit.  Instead of it being an all or nothing situation--either he moves or she does, maybe they can work out some kind of compromise? 

It sounds like the friend wants more from her partner than he's prepared or able to give.  I'm not going to suggest that she lower her expectations, but maybe she try to approach the situation from another angle.  It's entirely possible that he's not interested in life on the R1 track, tenure or no.  Maybe he really likes his job at the SLAC.  Maybe he cares more about teaching than about publishing . . .  Maybe there's a way to work out some kind of compromise?

[ernest1]

This may sound counterintuitive but if she is a star and he is useless, research-wise, his churning out of mediocre publications may not be in their collective interest. If he's totally unproductive but a great teacher, she may be able to negotiate a permanent/renewable lectureship (i.e. a teaching job) for him. My guess is that very few R1 institutions (presumably the kind of job she has in mind) would open up a tenure-track position for him but if they wanted her badly enough wouldn't necessarily balk at offering her partner a lectureship if his teaching is good.

[mustbeanon]

Thanks, folks--I'm calling her this weekend and will pass on the advice here.  I especially like the idea of compromise, outside box thinking, etc. It will be interesting to see if she can give up the idea of "happily ever after" for three seconds and hear this... am also going to try again to get her to come here and join us (she is a whiz at pubs/research). Anyway, thanks again for the great suggestions.