next »

[drj_b]

Spanish uses the word "esposas" for both wives and handcuffs.  When we found THAT out, my hubby and I immediately started using "amante" or "novia" or whatever.

I think the double meaning is profound, and would guarantee a very happy relationship. Maybe it's just me.
In any case, in Spain I heard non-academic people use "mujer" (woman) for wife and "marido" for husband.
In Dutch the generic words for man (man) and woman (vrouw) also mean husband and wife. For a live-in partner (whether homosexual or heterosexual) I think they use "partner" as a term of reference, when they are in a legally recognized relationship called "samenwonen" or a "geregisteered partnerschap" (sorry spelling might be off). If you are just dating and not living together, they use vriend (male friend) or vriendin (female friend), which is the same for friends you are not dating or sleeping with.

[drj_b]

I once had an acquaintance who kept referrring to a man he lived with (and bought a house with) as his "partner." I (and all our mutual acquaintances) assumed, for many other reasons, that he was definitely and absolutely gay. Imagine my surprise when I met this partner at a July 4th barbecue at their house, and BOTH of them introduced their respective SO's (one had a wife who also lived in the house, the other a new girlfriend). Apparently it was a business/investment partnership, and they had long-term plans for making money. I guess assumptions are always problematic when the term partner is employed.

I live with my opposite-sex significant other, and we are both past 40, so "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" do not sound age-appropriate to me (though it doesn't bother my partner, who is already a grandfather). But I do use it around other people who might not appreciate the same distinctions I/we make and/or who really don't care to know me/us better. When dealing with anything that is remotely legal, however, I always use the word partner.

I could use fiance but over the past decade I've noted how the term has been used and abused in popular culture and everyday life by people who are insincere about marriage, so I personally would never use it (despite its applicability) because I feel it has lost its credibility. I'd rather go from boyfriend/partner to husband, when we do get married legally and go beyond simply being "married in the heart" (as my pre-teen child likes to say).

[tauren]

Nookie monster

[topsitarian]

Usually if I'm introducing him, it's by his first name.

If I'm talking about him, I will usually use "husband" in English.

In Hebrew, as Totoro has pointed out, it's a little more complicated because the word "Ba'al" does mean "owner" or "master". Usually I will use "ben zug" (which I guess can be seen as the equivalent of "significant other" in the sense that it signifies a serious romantic relationship between two people - although unlike SO it's not gender neutral because nothing in Hebrew is), but in situations where I think the fact that we are married (i.e - have a specific, recognized legal status between us) is relevant to the conversation, I will say "ba'al" (husband), because no other word in Hebrew signifies this status (even "Ishi" which was mentioned here is sometimes used to signify a unmarried partner). Also because I think it is blatantly obvious to me, to him and to everyone around us that we do not have a relationship of ownership, so that the original meaning of the word is not so important.

[oldfullprof]

Mom?

~Oedipus

[larryc]

When I call her on the phone: "Hello, Gorgeous!" (Once I answered my cell this way when she called as I was walking through the hardware store. Two women in the next aisle looked over to see if I was talking to them. Good self-image, those two.)

Introducing her to friends: "This is my wife, [first name]."

Behind her back: "Let me check with the Commander-in-Chief."

[colette_capricious]

Everybody I've been introduced to here in the UK has said partner. Married or not, same sex or not. Keeps me guessing and keeps my gaydar honed. Most of them are opposite-sex.

All I keep thinking about in this thread is the scene from Dirty Dancing with the song that starts, "How do you call your lover-boy?"

Should I ever have someone to sleep with every night, I would call it a miracle. :)

[paultuttle]

"Life partner," in a formal setting, usually.  Or "my man," when among friends or gay-friendly people.  "Boyfriend," when talking with younger gay men. 

Or (at the twice-annual family reunions for my mother's side of the family, who are 50% farmers and 50% business or academic types) this is <life partner's name> and then allowed them to draw their own conclusions.  Their responses were both hilarious and educational.

[stitch]

"Life partner," in a formal setting, usually.  Or "my man," when among friends or gay-friendly people.  "Boyfriend," when talking with younger gay men. 

Or (at the twice-annual family reunions for my mother's side of the family, who are 50% farmers and 50% business or academic types) this is <life partner's name> and then allowed them to draw their own conclusions.  Their responses were both hilarious and educational.

We've been legally married for just less than six months, so I'm still trying to get in the habit of saying wife smoothly.  It's not the perfect word, but it's better than partner, which sounds so sterile, or girlfriend, which didn't seem to adequately convey the relationship after the first year or so.  To me, girlfriend/boyfriend implies dating steadily and exclusively, but not necessarily having made a permanent commitment

My preference in most situations has always been to refer to her by name.  That gets tricky because we have the same first name.  More than once I've confused the heck out of someone who thought I was talking about myself in the third person.

I also have that segment of my family with which I simply do not discuss the nature of our relationship.  We've lived together more than a decade and own a home together.  If they are more comfortable maintaining the facade that we're just best friends, well, they are welcome to do so.  Just like that 'spinster' great aunt that lived with her best friend when I was growing up.  Nothing to see here, move along.

[daisyaday]

Actually, I have an SO, which I refer to has my husband, but I sleep with our dog every night. I have read that about 1/3 of couples don't sleep together. We are one of those. As for my dog, I call him by his name.

Daisy

[inthelab]

Labspouse is my husband.  I've never known anyone to be offended by that.  We've been married over 30 years (32 this Friday).

[llanfair]

Labspouse is my husband.  I've never known anyone to be offended by that.  We've been married over 30 years (32 this Friday).

Congratulations!

[slac_barbarian]

This thread discriminates against nonhumans.

[stitch]

No, it is simply not about non-humans.