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[london1]

Here's today's succinct one: "We have filled the position, thus the search has come to an end."[/b]

Yeesh!  Let's label this one either Over-Stating the Obvious or You Gotta Be Cruel to Be Kind.

[lpritcha]

Switcheroo II

"We have filled the position for which you applied, in field X. However, we have an opening in field Y, for which nobody with any measurable brain activity applied. We realize that your specialty, field X, has absolutely nothing to do with field Y, but we think you're intelligent enough to learn field Y. We would like to train you to teach our courses in field Y, and we'll even throw in an office right next door to the person we hired for field X."

[cronopio]

No Social Skills: "The SC has formulated its short list and I am sorry to report that you are not on it." (verbatim quote)

Talking about no social skills, I actually have received an email message with "rejection letter" as the title of it.

I must be an idiot (see: STATING THE OBVIOUS), but I don't get why the "No Social Skills" is really lacking. It says a fact: we've made up the short list, and then it says a "I'm sorry" you aren't on it.....

Could you rewrite it to show how it could be improved? Reading the first words "I'm sorry" is painful, no? "I'm sorry to inform you that we are no longer considering you for X position." Whaa. I'd rather have "We made up the short list, and I'm sorry to report you aren't on it."

When I tell people stuff in writing, I often write "I am sorry to report." Cuz I am. Both sorry, and am reporting (what others decided, for example).

[joey_fan]

Here's a nice gem from today.

I call it the Cue the Violins or Hallmark Card + Self Help genre:

"Thank you for your application [but you aren't the one, yadda yadda]...."

And it ends:

"There are many paths in such a journey of professional endeavor. Best wishes, wherever your path may take you."

[onomatopoeia]

Here's today's succinct one: "We have filled the position, thus the search has come to an end."

I rather like this one--I think it belongs on the "Favorite City" thread.  It strikes me as Zen-like, the kind of thing Yoda would say: "All living things must die; the valiant Search, having fulfilled its life-breath, will now re-join the Force."

[london1]

"There are many paths in such a journey of professional endeavor. Best wishes, wherever your path may take you."

......so long as the path doesn't take you here, apparently.  Nice.....

[joey_fan]

I rather like this one--I think it belongs on the "Favorite City" thread.  It strikes me as Zen-like, the kind of thing Yoda would say: "All living things must die; the valiant Search, having fulfilled its life-breath, will now re-join the Force."

Or, to adopt a more Yoda-like grammar:

"All living things die must; valiant Search its final life-breath taken has, and re-join the Force it shall."

[joey_fan]

"There are many paths in such a journey of professional endeavor. Best wishes, wherever your path may take you."

......so long as the path doesn't take you here, apparently.  Nice.....

Oh, and I forgot the best part of this letter! This one also contained this awkwardly-phrased tidbit:

"Without a large amount of highly qualified candidates, the search could not have been a success."

Gee, well thank you very much; I am sooo glad I was able to make your search "successful." Sheesh.

[onion]

Here's a nice gem from today.

I call it the Cue the Violins or Hallmark Card + Self Help genre:

"Thank you for your application [but you aren't the one, yadda yadda]...."

And it ends:

"There are many paths in such a journey of professional endeavor. Best wishes, wherever your path may take you."

Hahahahahahahahaha.

Are you secretly glad you don't have to work with someone who thinks this kind of "poetic" musing is appropriate? 

[pariah1]

Here's a nice gem from today.

I call it the Cue the Violins or Hallmark Card + Self Help genre:

"Thank you for your application [but you aren't the one, yadda yadda]...."

And it ends:

"There are many paths in such a journey of professional endeavor. Best wishes, wherever your path may take you."

Hahahahahahahahaha.

Are you secretly glad you don't have to work with someone who thinks this kind of "poetic" musing is appropriate? 

Here's another one: "...we are unable to offer you further encouragement in your candidacy".

So I guess they're offering discouragement (sic)?

[pariah1]

Here's a nice gem from today.

I call it the Cue the Violins or Hallmark Card + Self Help genre:

"Thank you for your application [but you aren't the one, yadda yadda]...."

And it ends:

"There are many paths in such a journey of professional endeavor. Best wishes, wherever your path may take you."

Hahahahahahahahaha.

Are you secretly glad you don't have to work with someone who thinks this kind of "poetic" musing is appropriate? 

Here's another one: "...we are unable to offer you further encouragement in your candidacy".

So I guess they're offering discouragement (sic)?

I am of course grateful that such letters now come electronically so I don't have to transcribe them and post them quickly here. Maybe we should start a wiki or maybe there is in existence, a rejection wiki?

There is now also a new trend in HR offices to send the rejection letters as attached .doc files which make it easier to delete since it is of course virally dangerous to open such attachments their message simply reads "open attachment". If they were going to offer me the gig, I am guesing that they'll still use the telephone. My favorite is the proprietary college's HR flak who wanted to tell me that I was rejected over the phone (and still did). Is that an awkward call or what? Has anyone gotten a voicemail rejection message? We could share (redacted) audio files here!

[rara_avis]

I've got a new one!

The School So Nice, They Rejected Me Twice

First, I got one of those "we're sorry we couldn't hire you, but we would like to encourage you to apply to other positions for which you may be qualified" emails from the Human Resources office.

The next day, I got an email from the department to which I'd actually applied, rejecting me again.

Should I count this as one or two rejections, on my running scoreboard?

[skeptic]

The Indirect:  Dear _____________, The search committee has made its selection for the __________ position.  We wish you all the best in your career.

This one is a particular pet peeve of mine:  not that I can't read between the lines, but why can't the writer have the courtesy/guts to fill in the missing piece of the syllogism ("...and it wasn't you")?

Incidentally, I received just such a letter recently regarding a job for which I was a finalist and had a campus interview:  no one called or even e-mailed me, I just got this obvious form letter a month after having visited their campus.  Losers.

[graine]

The screwed up search committee:

Thank you for your application for the position in X and Xy (a closely related field).  As X and Xy mean different things to different people, we have cancelled the search without conducting any interviews. 

[pariah1]

The screwed up search committee:

Thank you for your application for the position in X and Xy (a closely related field).  As X and Xy mean different things to different people, we have cancelled the search without conducting any interviews. 

Here's another one: "Our choice in no way reflects upon your excellent skills and abilities."

Of course, because if it did...

- we'd have to hire lawyers and inform our congressional representatives that affirmative action as practiced at our institution has been a sham since the Reagan Administration.


-we'd need to do a facilities and capital improvement RFP for the laser level to construct that employment playing field using the funds we diverted from supporting diversity on campus.