flyguy
I can't believe they let me be a
Senior member
Posts: 548
Proving once again quantity rules over quality
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« Reply #30 on: March 09, 2007, 11:45:29 PM » |
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How about this one I just got in today:
You're not good enough but keep trying. We like rejecting you
"We had an exceptionally strong pool of candidates, including established scientists as well as younger scientists with great potential (they don't say if I am included in that last category)....We respect your credentials (what?) and hope you will keep us in mind for future employment opportunities."
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"I don't accessorize. I'm Howard Moon. There's a simple truth to me." Howard Moon
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flyguy
I can't believe they let me be a
Senior member
Posts: 548
Proving once again quantity rules over quality
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« Reply #31 on: March 09, 2007, 11:47:39 PM » |
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Oh, I just remembered one from last year:
We are inept and it would be better for you if we didn't interview you.
"We regert [sic] to inform you that you were not among our list of candidates..."
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"I don't accessorize. I'm Howard Moon. There's a simple truth to me." Howard Moon
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sofia
New member
Posts: 1
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« Reply #32 on: March 10, 2007, 09:41:15 AM » |
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No Social Skills: "The SC has formulated its short list and I am sorry to report that you are not on it." (verbatim quote)
Talking about no social skills, I actually have received an email message with "rejection letter" as the title of it. |
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nocalprof
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« Reply #33 on: March 10, 2007, 12:13:55 PM » |
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I didn't think I'd have an original one to add, but here it is.....
We didn't bother to send you a rejection letter when you applied 2 years ago, but now that your wife just accepted a position in another department here and you're back in the region fishing for a job, we're embarrassed. Thank you so much for applying.
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shemsheli2
Junior member
Posts: 75
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« Reply #34 on: March 10, 2007, 04:28:43 PM » |
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Insult on top of Injury: "When you filed your application, you neglected to fill out the affirmative action questionaire. Please fill out the enclosed card and return it so we may enter the data into our records."
I got this one. I sent my application by email on January 1, the letter was dated February 28, and it stated that they will notify people for interviews during the first week of February, so I should stay posted, but meanwhile fill out affirmative action questionnaire. which asked for my Social Security Number! SS |
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onion
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« Reply #35 on: March 11, 2007, 10:14:26 AM » |
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I got a personalized letter after an on-campus that said "We're sure you'll mature nicely into a great teacher and better colleague."
What am I, wine? And is the "great" and "better" part of a rhetorical flourish, or was it suggested in comparison to the person they did hire? All I know is that I looked at it and thought, golly, I really do suck, don't I?
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illuminata
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« Reply #36 on: March 11, 2007, 10:30:14 AM » |
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Do I get a prize for collecting the whole set?
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Playing tennis with grenades.
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cackalacker
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« Reply #37 on: March 11, 2007, 10:33:07 AM » |
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I got a personalized letter after an on-campus that said "We're sure you'll mature nicely into a great teacher and better colleague."
What am I, wine? And is the "great" and "better" part of a rhetorical flourish, or was it suggested in comparison to the person they did hire? All I know is that I looked at it and thought, golly, I really do suck, don't I?
Wow, what a poorly-phrased attempt to be kind. A "better colleague" than what? Than you seem like you would be right now? All it needs is a "Bless your heart" and it would be a perfectly pitched Southern insult. |
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I'm so fresh you can smell me through a ziplock.
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pariah1
New member
Posts: 24
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« Reply #38 on: March 11, 2007, 04:13:10 PM » |
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Ooops! There's no $ for this Position - We know we put you (and others) through phone interviews, campus interviews, checked all your references, but now it appears that we do not have the $ for this position after-all. We welcome you to apply again next year.[/list] We used you and a bunch of other people to apply so we don't get our budget cut for that salary line, but had no intention of hiring anyone since we had someone in the position as an interim appointmentWe used you and a bunch of other people to apply so we don't get our budget cut for that salary line, but had no intention of hiring anyone since we are waiting until our shadow candidate is availableWe used you and a bunch of other people to apply but had no intention of hiring anyone since we had someone in the position as an interim appointment and just needed to convince ourselves that we are committed to diversityWe used you and a bunch of other people to apply but had no intention of hiring anyone since we had someone already on the faculty/staff (or their spouse/lover) who we needed to transfer and just needed to convince ourselves that we are committed to diversity |
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london1
Singin' Songs of the 70s in my Car, I'm Still a
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 6,353
There was voodoo in the vibes.
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« Reply #39 on: March 12, 2007, 12:41:16 PM » |
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We used you and a bunch of other people to apply so we don't get our budget cut for that salary line, but had no intention of hiring anyone since we are waiting until our shadow candidate is available.
Bingo! This is what happened to me.
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"Years ago my mother used to say...in this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant...."
- Elwood P. Dowd
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jobhuntress
New member
Posts: 35
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« Reply #40 on: March 12, 2007, 09:22:26 PM » |
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- Dear Jane Break-Up Letter (after campus visit): "It was great getting to know you better and let's stay friends..." (followed by handwritten note by the SCC)
I just got an insert-awkward-compliment-here version of this. It was a rejection letter post-MLA interview: "It was a pleasure speaking with you and all the other candidates in Philadelphia. [Then this part was handwritten] I enjoyed getting a chance to catch up with you about things at [MY ALMA MATER]." Weird thing is, the fact that the SCC and myself had the same alma mater never came up in the interview. Huh? |
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london1
Singin' Songs of the 70s in my Car, I'm Still a
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 6,353
There was voodoo in the vibes.
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« Reply #41 on: March 20, 2007, 03:48:19 PM » |
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Ye Old Circular File.....
"We appreciated having the opportunity to review your application materials, and while you have not been selected for an interview, we will keep your materials on file in the event that another position becomes available."
Yeah, sure!
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"Years ago my mother used to say...in this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant...."
- Elwood P. Dowd
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chron7
Junior member
Posts: 68
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« Reply #42 on: March 20, 2007, 07:00:45 PM » |
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Ye Old Circular File.....
"We appreciated having the opportunity to review your application materials, and while you have not been selected for an interview, we will keep your materials on file in the event that another position becomes available."
Yeah, sure!
Whoops. You beat me to it. I was going to post this one as "Wishful Thinking". Nice to know there are fellow sufferers out there. |
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pariah1
New member
Posts: 24
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« Reply #43 on: March 21, 2007, 11:52:59 AM » |
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Ye Old Circular File.....
"We appreciated having the opportunity to review your application materials, and while you have not been selected for an interview, we will keep your materials on file in the event that another position becomes available."
Yeah, sure!
Whoops. You beat me to it. I was going to post this one as "Wishful Thinking". Nice to know there are fellow sufferers out there. Here's today's succinct one: "We have filled the position, thus the search has come to an end." |
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achylles
Junior member
Posts: 64
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« Reply #44 on: March 21, 2007, 12:24:01 PM » |
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I am completely serious about making a pinata out of mine. The thought keeps me sane. (Sort of.)
I plan to gesso mine onto canvas and make art out of my pain *grin* |
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