sleepdeprived
Junior member
Posts: 94
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« Reply #15 on: March 09, 2007, 02:26:49 PM » |
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I am completely serious about making a pinata out of mine. that's awesome. |
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jobhuntress
New member
Posts: 35
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« Reply #17 on: March 09, 2007, 04:44:41 PM » |
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This is great! I'll add a few: - HR Robot - "Dear NAME OF APPPLICANT, Position #24601Q55X has been filled. Please see [HR WEBSITE HERE] to apply for another position."
- We're Totally Lying - "Dear DR. WRONG-NAME, After carefully reviewing your materials with the utmost consideration possible, we regret to inform you..." [Note: I'm ABD and I got this letter 2 days after the application deadline!]
- Odd Euphemisms[/b - "....We wish you a beautiful day and the best of fortune in your journey towards employment..."]
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onion
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« Reply #18 on: March 09, 2007, 05:01:44 PM » |
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The Wha? Huh? "Due to the nature of our search, we are not inviting you to interview at Major Conference. However, we will be keeping your application materials on file, and may call you in the future."
Know what I got called for? An adjunct gig. Gee, thanks.
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oldfullprof
Short!
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 6,968
Imagine something funny here...
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« Reply #19 on: March 09, 2007, 05:17:29 PM » |
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Dear Dr. OAssistantP:
I'm sorry to tell you that the search committee here at Not Very Good R-1 has made its selection. We are delighted to announce that we have hired James Ego, currently a candidate at [big Midwestern football school ranked considerably below your grad department]. He promises to help meet our future needs for a criminologist [the ad was for "deviance"].
[You visit his site, and unpublished Jim is mugging on every page of his 'I love me' website. Disgusting. You note that his disertation is on "Construction of the Other in Critical Criminology." Yag. You take long walks. You decide to remove the BA and MA dates from your vita.]
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Take reality personally. It's more fun that way.
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highstand
New member
Posts: 14
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« Reply #20 on: March 09, 2007, 07:32:07 PM » |
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The Make-Us-Feel-Good-About-Rejecting-You
"Please accept my sincere wishes in your job search, and I am sure there is a high probability that you have already signed a contract for another position elsewhere"
This letter to the 70 candidates for a position in a year where there were only 6 postions available in my field. High probability my a......
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iomhaigh
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« Reply #21 on: March 09, 2007, 08:57:21 PM » |
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Don't forget:
You suck so much that we're going to send you TWO rejection letters spaced months apart.
Loved that. Warmed the cockles of my heart, it did.
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I am the very model of a modern major general.
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cropguru
Dirt Chemistry Messiah and
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 1,499
Way too young to be this jaded.
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« Reply #22 on: March 09, 2007, 09:15:40 PM » |
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Well, I hate to say that misery loves company, but this thread is kinda funny. Thanks!
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iomhaigh
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« Reply #23 on: March 09, 2007, 09:41:05 PM » |
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Ooooh! There's also the:
Your advisor(s) can't be bothered to mail a letter on time, so we're just rejecting you without even looking at your materials.
Into the circular file! Three points!
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I am the very model of a modern major general.
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all_but_defeated
New member
Posts: 1
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« Reply #24 on: March 09, 2007, 10:12:29 PM » |
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Longtimelurkerfirsttimeposter. Love this thead!
Don't forget about these gems:
No, I Broke Up With You = "We regret to inform you that the position has now been filled," blah blah.
(This of course being a month or so after I turned down an offer from them)
Please Don't Hate Us / Sob Story: "Believe it when we say this really was tremendously difficult for all of us involved, as we had 5,234,872 applications and we could only pick one. We pleaded with the Dean/Provost/God for more funding to open up more than one position but..." yadda yadda.
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joey_fan
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« Reply #25 on: March 09, 2007, 10:21:07 PM » |
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OP Here - I'm glad to see this thread is still continuing!
I thought I had seen it all, but apparently Rejection Wonders Never Cease.
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hello_lunch
Junior member
Posts: 60
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« Reply #26 on: March 09, 2007, 10:26:29 PM » |
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I like the Keep Your Chin Up category: "We would also like
to emphasize that our decisions had at least as much to do with the needs of
our department as with our evaluations of an applicant's qualifications, and hope that our decision will not discourage you as you continue on in the job market process."
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enviroabd
I'm green
Member
Posts: 219
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« Reply #27 on: March 09, 2007, 10:35:21 PM » |
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variant on the You All Suck type:
YOU suck/we didn't really re-read our rejection letter: Thank you for your application. Our decision was really difficult because we had a ton of qualified applicants. Unfortunately you were not among them.
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I'm like a dissertation inchworm.
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amos_anony
New member
Posts: 18
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« Reply #28 on: March 09, 2007, 10:53:16 PM » |
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While we are on this topic: Have any of you received rejection letters of the lukewarm and/or mildly disdainful category? - "Although we didn't receive a large amount of applications, some candidates were rather close to being quite satisfactory..."
- "We appreciate how much time you put into your application..."
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jobhuntress
New member
Posts: 35
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« Reply #29 on: March 09, 2007, 11:00:16 PM » |
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variant on the You All Suck type:
YOU suck/we didn't really re-read our rejection letter: Thank you for your application. Our decision was really difficult because we had a ton of qualified applicants. Unfortunately you were not among them.
OUCH. |
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