I'm getting ready to go on my first interview. The campus is going to put me up in a really nice hotel. Does the hotel provide nice towels or should I pack my own?
People. People. People. I go away for a couple of months and this is what happens? [sighs]
As you are all aware THHGTTG is required reading for graduate students, so it should come as no shock to any one that the value of a towel is immeasurable, especially at the interview. Only the simple-minded see a rectangular swatch of cotton as a means to absorb water from a moist body. Let me suggest to the OP, that regardless of whether or not your hotel provides you with a towel, it is a necessary (nay, indispensable) item to have on an interview. Allow me to detail the virtues of the mighty towel:
The
Oh my God you people belong in a Bergman film use: The excitement of your first interview can be tempered by seeing members of the SC first thing in the morning for that much anticipated breakfast. Well, now you can use the excuse of "Oh, dear me. I must have left my towel on the floor of my bathroom. I'll just pop back to pick it up." Take the opportunity to crawl out the bathroom window. If there is no window, use the towel to climb into the duct work and wait them out.
The
Secret Society use. Being able to produce a towel has it's advantages. While there are mundane uses of a towel (e.g., cleaning up unwanted pools of blood, thwacking a well portioned rear of a colleague), the real advantage is as a ticket to the old boys club. How embarrassing (and potentially interview ending) to meet with the search chair in their office and see stretched across their desk a big white towel. By producing the towel at that instant, you say, "See I'm one of you. I belong." No SC member can deny your potential when you produce a towel at this times. Masonic handshakes aside, the towel is you ticket to tenure.
The
If I can't see them, they can't see me use. Let's face it, most SCs are none to bright. Wrapping a towel around your head during a group meeting will usually confuse them to the point, that after a moment or two, they will send the most junior member of the committee out into the hall to look for you. When you hear them leave the room, make a break for it (failing that, use the towel to climb into the duct work).
The
Sustenance use. If you have a towel, you will never go hungry or want for water during your interview. Use opportunities like campus tours to use the towel to soak up water for the university fountain. If you see bits of food on the ground, drop the towel on them and give it a few stomps. When you feel thirsty or hungry during your visit, whip out the towel and suck away. Viola!
The
What student? use. Face it. We've all killed at least one student. You can't really call yourself a good teacher if you haven't. Well, if you do happen "off" a student at during your teaching demo, a towel can serve to cover the head of the unfortunate lad/lass. No one wants to be staring at a dead persons face while they listen to you expound the merits of Jacobean this or that. <No one.>
The
Simple diversion use. Let's face it, all Deans are none to bright. You have heard the horror stories of having to sit through a meeting with Dean Blah Blah Blah. After listening intently for 10 minutes, quietly remove the towel from your bag, roll it up, and lay it vertically on your chair. Take the opportunity to leave the office (or crawl into the duct work. Kudos to you if you have 2 towels). If all goes as plans, the towel will be escorted to the next meeting by the Dean. BTW, the
If I can't see them, they can't see me does not usually work in this case, as most Deans don't have good vision (so not seeing you is par for the course) but if they sense someone is not listening to them they tend to go into a rage (sadly, at the expense of innocent budget lines).
Well, these are just some of the more important uses of a towel on your interview. I usually bring an extra suit case, just for towels.
