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[sud_au_nerd]

Here's the scenario:

In my field, there is a set of competitive and substantial fellowships available for research. 
The call for proposals specifies several target fields, and mine is not among them.

A parallel program exists, administered by the same body.  It is identical in all but two respects: it is restricted to minority, disadvantaged, and disabled applicants; and my target field of research is in the expanded list of included fields.

Now, I do have a disability.  It is a "hidden" disability, relatively mild as disabilities go, but it is significant enough that I have required some accommodations to do my work successfully.  In graduate school, a good chunk of the "extra" money I earned as an RA/TA went towards paying people to help me do the tasks with which I require assistance.  Having to take on extra work to cover disability-related expenses remains an additional burden on my time and energy, beyond the effects of the disability.  In the absence of other funding for disability-related assistance, this is a trade-off I have been willing to make.  If I were to be awarded one of these fellowships, however, it could make a substantial difference in my research productivity by reducing the number of ways I must split my time and effort and by allowing me to pursue auxiliary assistance that I have foregone thus far (in addition to all of the other reasons for wanting a fellowship).

On the one hand, some might argue that I'm "not disabled enough" (or even "not disabled"): there are people with far more significant disabilities or disadvantages with which to contend, individuals who might be more "visible" examples of successful minority/disabled researchers, and people who may have more dire financial situations, to boot.  Indeed, I don't know that I, with my middle-class, good-public-school upbringing, am the kind of person they had in mind.  On the other hand, I certainly didn't invent a disability for the purpose of receiving a fellowship.  The funding could have a significant impact on my ability to succeed as a researcher with a disability, especially at this early stage of my career and family life.  I am very committed to mentoring and setting a good example for students of all backgrounds and circumstances, and my own experiences have helped shape my strong focus on supporting students.  Although my disability is non-obvious to the casual observer, I am happy to talk about it if in doing so I can educate or help someone else succeed.                   

Is it ethical for me to apply for the "diversity" fellowship?  Is it wise?  Why or why not?

Thanks for any and all feedback!

[dr_crankypants]

Any chance you could be more specific?  It's hard for us to judge whether you are "disabled enough" without knowing what specifically you're talking about.  My instinct would be to apply, especially if you self-identify as having a disability.  Just be clear about the nature of your disability, and how the financial assistance would help you.  It may be that the selection committee has a clear list of "what counts," but you can't really know that in advance (unless they specify this).  They won't give you the fellowship just because you apply; they'll give it to you because they think that you're the person they want to fund.  As long as you're straightforward, I see no problem here.

[dreamingwideawake]

I agree with dr cp. I say apply and leave it up to the decision makers to decide whether you are 'disabled enough'. Do not be apologetic but be very honest in answering the application questions.

[mrhistory]

If you require assistance, then you are disabled in some way. Explain the issue in accordance with their application process and let them decide if you qualify.   "Disabled enough" sounds like "a little pregnant"--you pretty much are or aren't...

[sud_au_nerd]

Hmm, and I was just thinking that maybe I shouldn't apply, after all... 

Mr. History:
I don't know that the pregnancy analogy really fits; indeed, the law makes a distinction between "having an impairment" and "being substantially limited in a major life function".  The latter criterion is very poorly defined, but has been interpreted narrowly when tested.  I have an "impairment", but there are those who would argue that because I have succeeded in earning academic credentials that the vast majority of non-disabled Americans do not have, I am clearly too successful to be "substantially limited".  (But I suppose that goes for anyone who would be applying for this fellowship.)

Dreaming Wide Awake:
The application, as I read it, does not require a description of the disability, merely institutional certification that the applicant is a member of one of the target classes.  The fellowship is awarded primarily on the basis of the research proposal, if I understand correctly.  The funding is mostly earmarked for research, but the fellowship comes with a salary boost that I could use to pay for personal assistance that would ease my load and indirectly help me do my job. 

Dr. Crankypants:
Although my question was not at all hypothetical, I'll toss out a few scenarios in alphabetical order - to help protect my anonymity, and because I'm curious how people might view different sorts of conditions.     

Say I have ADD that is not cured with medication.  I use software to help remind me of deadlines and noise-cancelling headphones to help block out distractions in my office, which happens to be located on a busy hallway.  At my doctor's suggestion, I pay a professional organizer to come by once a month to help me manage academic and research paperwork and to sort through bills at home.  If I could, I'd hire the equivalent of a dissertation coach to help me pace and prioritize my work.

Say I have chronic fatigue/fibromyalgia.  I have to maintain a strict sleep and exercise schedule and can't run on coffee all the time, or I'll pay for it.  My postdoc had a light teaching load, and I could work from home some of the time.  (This didn't prevent me from having to come to campus some days when I felt really awful, but it helped.)  My colleagues have been very understanding, and have occasionally covered classes for me in extreme circumstances (though I try to keep the pinch hitting to no more than 2 classes a semester, and I reciprocate as much as possible).  If I had my druthers, I'd hire a housekeeper - maybe not regularly, but as needed.  Then, after a run of "off" days, I could focus on my research and grading students' work rather than clearing the awful mess out of the sink.I'm not looking for spotless, just sanitary.  I'd also drop the university extension course I've been teaching for extra cash (on top of a reasonable departmental load).     

Say I'm dyslexic.  After years of tutoring, I've mostly learned to compensate for it, and I actually enjoy reading.  I'm fine when it comes to finding references, skimming material, and responding to student e-mails.  However, I still read "serious" material at a snail's pace, and am embarrassed to admit that I haven't yet gotten around to actually reading some of the seminal works in my field.  If I could, I'd pay for someone to record these in audio format for me.  I've tried text-to-speech software, but it chokes on discipline-specific jargon, and some of these works aren't in electronic format to begin with.  I would also like to hire someone - an eager undergraduate or a freelancer - to help proofread and edit my proposals and manuscripts, to catch the typos that Dragon Dictate makes, spellcheck misses, and I do not recognize.  (My spouse has been kind enough to read over my shoulder, but I like to keep some distance between my work life and my home life, and would rather find a third party to take over this task.)

Say I have had a mild hearing impairment in both ears since childhood.  It especially interferes with my ability to hear speech over background noise, and makes it difficult for me to hold a phone conversation in my office, which happens to be located on a busy hallway (with no possibility of relocation - space is at a premium, and at least I have windows!).  I wear hearing aids, use assistive listening devices when I attend conferences and try to position myself where I can see speakers.  I do as much communication as I can via e-mail (and the occasional forum post!).  However, there are some things that are more efficient or only possible with a phone call - especially little administrative tasks (like putting books on course reserve).  I'd love to hire someone to come in once a week to take care of these things and to transcribe notes from my microcassette recorder, which I bring to committee meetings in case I miss (or worse, misunderstand) something in the "crossfire".

So...  What say you, oh wise denizens of the CHE Forum?

[bio_prof_]

I second (third) that you go ahead and apply, and let the decision makers determine if you fit the criteria for their award. You may be exactly what they were looking for. If not, they will give it to someone else. No harm done.

[smurfette]

Contact the program officer/person in charge and ask if you are eligible given your situation.  You don't want to waste your time applying for something you won't even be considered for.

[athena1]

Yes, apply. They will read your ap and decide if they think you are "disabled enough".