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[weaser]

I have some campus interviews coming up and I'd like some advice. I have a partner who works in the same discipline, though not the same area, as me. I've always been told that this whole topic is off-limits for hiring committees, but it has been my experience that they do ask about it, sometimes blatantly (as in "Do you have a partner who is going to need work?"), sometimes in a more sociable way at a lunch or dinner.  Does anyone have any advice as to how to handle this cannily yet politely? What can I say (other than "No, I'm single") that will not completely destroy my chances of getting the job? One of the hiring committees I'll be meeting includes someone known to both my partner and myself. Do I assume that he has told all the other committee members that I have an academic partner?

[fallerskuggan]

I have some campus interviews coming up and I'd like some advice. I have a partner who works in the same discipline, though not the same area, as me. I've always been told that this whole topic is off-limits for hiring committees, but it has been my experience that they do ask about it, sometimes blatantly (as in "Do you have a partner who is going to need work?"), sometimes in a more sociable way at a lunch or dinner.  Does anyone have any advice as to how to handle this cannily yet politely? What can I say (other than "No, I'm single") that will not completely destroy my chances of getting the job? One of the hiring committees I'll be meeting includes someone known to both my partner and myself. Do I assume that he has told all the other committee members that I have an academic partner?

This is tough.  I was at dinner the evening before the real campus interview at which one person opened the conversation with the question, "so what does your husband do?"  Sometimes people can be deflected by a general announcement that (in my case) my husband supports my career and this potential move to College Town.  Sometimes, they won't be deflected, no matter what, and the social situations are particularly difficult.  I'm not even going to tell you just how far this guy went--and no, I didn't get the job. 

But don't say you're single; what's the long term benefit of that?  (Though partner seems ambiguous to me, as a termininology that could cover a range of situations.)  I interviewed openly as someone who has a husband and 2 kids (no dog, but I plead guilty to the minivan).  At some campus visits, they were practically recruiting me so my daughter could play soccer for the local schools ("high school state champions last year! what trophy was that she won at soccer camp last year?  oh, best defender!  how tall is she?  great!") while at others they were lecturing me about how the women in the department had CHOSEN not to have children (no, I didn't get that job, either).

So, it sucks.  I'm not sure I'm helping you very much here.  Don't lie, but prepare a broad statement, and be prepared to repeat it.  And repeat it.  And repeat it.  However many times it takes for the questioner to realize that giving up is the wisest course. 

Geez, am I a depressive or what?  I haven't posted in ages, and I choose this hopeless topic to weigh in on . . .

fallerskuggan

p.s.  What's up with spell check?  It used to give me this great suggestion about what I really meant by fallerskuggan.

[yellowtractor]

There are a number of threads on the "inappropriate question" question, I believe.  There is also this article, on the MLA website, which has some excellent advise (and also very good rejoinders for some questions):

http://www.mla.org/resources/jil/job_counseling/bulletin_ade/bulletin_120036

In your case, I suppose a major issue--which you don't address in your post--is whether your partner really will be wanting some sort of job at the institution in question should you yourself receive and accept an offer.  It's still none of the host institution's business at this stage, but you'd look bad if you said one thing and then, after receiving an offer (fingers crossed!), reversed yourself.

You can simply smile and say "My partner's work is portable," or "My partner supports me in seeking work at Nosy U.," or "My partner is looking forward to exploring possibilities in the Nosyville area."

(I've always been tempted to say "My partner has a trust fund" or "My partner rides the professional yo-yo circuit and is rarely in town," but maybe campus interviews aren't the place for humor.)

As for the SC member who you and your partner both know--and who knows both you and your partner? and that you are together?--it's entirely possible that hu is professional enough not to bring the matter up.  If hu does bring it up, formally or informally, proceed as above.  Smile, be gracious, move on.

[philoctetes]

(I've always been tempted to say "My partner has a trust fund" or "My partner rides the professional yo-yo circuit and is rarely in town," but maybe campus interviews aren't the place for humor.)

How about, "My partner works from home for [insert name of discipline specific granting agency/foundation]", nudge nudge, wink wink?

[jobhire]

Can't search committees be penalized in some way or regulated to prevent them from asking this question?

[fallerskuggan]

Can't search committees be penalized in some way or regulated to prevent them from asking this question?

In short, no.  How would this work, esp in fields where there's a huge oversupply of applicants?  Who is handing out the penalities, and on what basis?  The word of some candidate who didn't get the job and complained?  (ROTFL)

At the school where the guy went overboard with the personal questions at dinner, the HR representativewho was doing the benefits talked asked me directly if any of the sc people had asked inappropriate questions.  I just laughed and said, "you don't want to know," but he was really upset because he'd been over the ground rules with them ahead of time.


fallerskuggan

[yellowtractor]

Not unless you want to sue, or complain to a dean or provost.  (Either of which would effectively end all chances of your getting an offer from the school in question.)

I've actually had to deal with another version of the Inappropriate Interview Question several times when interviewing.  The fact is that usually questions of this sort come from well-meaning individuals who are simply curious, trying to add a human dimension to the conversation, etc.  I'm certainly not defending such questions--the first time I was asked an Inappropriate  Question, I blurted out "I can't believe you asked that!" (and didn't get the job)--rather suggesting that it often works better, in the event, to assume the question was an unfortunate slip on the part of the interlocutor and move forward accordingly, rather than take obvious umbrage.

[smurlein]

I hate these kinds of questions!

One time I was asked about my religious affiliation. I was so taken aback by the question that I actually spat out the truth, which I truly believe led to me not getting the job. But I always think of this way: if they are not willing to hire me for something that it is inherent to my Self, then I really don't want to work there.

[catmom]

For me, the inappropriate question was usually asked during the "social part" of the interview and I honestly believe that at that point the folks were just being friendly and making light conversation. Anyway, I answer truthfully. No problem. I think for every person who wants someone without partner or kids so they can work around the clock there is another person who thinks only people with kids should be allowed to live. You don't know their preferences. If your having kids or not having kids is so important to them that they wouldn't consider you it can only be a bad place to work. OTOH, if you are realy concerned, a very charming smile and the answer "you are not REALLY supposed to ask me that or make it part of your consideration, are you?" can get them off your back. Remember, it only works if you can pull it off in the most charming way.

[trabb]

Not unless you want to sue, or complain to a dean or provost.  (Either of which would effectively end all chances of your getting an offer from the school in question.)

Yellowtractor, this one gave me a good laugh.  Last year on a campus visit, the provost asked me my religious affiliation:)

[jdviolet]

On the "partner" question: I'm straightforward (so to speak) about being a lesbian with a partner; if the SC/school is uncomfortable with the situation, then I know it's not a good place for us. My partner also does the kind of work that requires "help getting a job ties" with a certain campus department, so my coupling status would emerge anyway.

This is not to say that I think it's a good thing to be asked these personal questions (straight, queer, or otherwise), but I have never been on a campus visit where the "what's your status" question hasn't come up, however implicitly. 

Bonus story: I have a friend who was so concerned about having to answer this question (she's married with a child) that she took off her wedding band for the campus interview. She later found, after she took the job offered, that everyone assumed she was divorced or separated because at the inteview she had a definite stripe of white on her ring finger that stood out against her otherwise tan fingers.

[prof_d]

If this is a larger university or one in what posters here dismissively call "flyover" territory, it could be that their process encourages trying to help partners get employment.  If we know, we try to arrange a parallel set of interviews with relevant campus and off campus employers. You have no idea how many candidates we lose (and get no chance to help because the candidate didn't mention it until too late) because of a partner issue.

You might do a quick search for partner accommodation or for work/life balance policies on the school's web. That might help you figure out what is what.

I'd really only be concerned it the question about partner/spouse comes up in group meetings. If it comes up with the chair, dean, provost, I would not read too much into it.  

If they ask whether you plan on having children or your religion (unless it is a strongly religiously affliated kind of school)...that's another matter. I'm with catmom on how to respond, namely charmingly and without an answer.

[acrimone]

I think the only thing you can really do is answer the questions honestly, unless they ask something like "So what sexual positions do you like?" in which case you stalk off in a huff.  Seriously, it'd be nice if people were hired solely on their own merits, but things like living situations represent statistical data that the SC's are attempting to use in ensuring that their choice has the best chance of working out.  Whether their readings are accurate or not isn't the issue: the issue is answering their question.

So if you get asked, ""Do you have a partner who is going to need work?" just answer truthfully. 

"Yes, but she's not worried about getting a job."
"No -- we can get by fine on one income."
"Yes -- you don't happen to have any openings in the History department, do you?"

etc.

Honesty is usually the best policy.

[camchiga]

One of my MLA interviews started out with what I thought was a kind of an odd question such as "why did you move from "ultra cool city overseas" to "middle of nowhere town in the US"? Maybe it was just honest curiosity but I thought they were trying to get personal info.  I gave a generic but truthful answer which did not mention a husband.  I don't think they believed me entirely but I do have a campus visit coming up with them. . . I'll have to think of something creative to say that doesn't give away all the details about my personal life.

[case_insensitive]

"why did you move from "ultra cool city overseas" to "middle of nowhere town in the US"?

This sort of question is quite reasonable and most likely has nothing to do with probing for personal details.  So, you live in Amsterdam? London? Paris? (wherever) and you want to come work for us in Littleville 300 miles from the nearest airport?  Well, we want to know why Littleville interests you, of course, because we'd all love to have lived in Amsterdam, London or Paris ourselves when we were younger...

Also:

Why do you want to move from [insert well-known RI] to our little university?

-type questions are quite appropriate and you should always think through proper answers to these types of questions in advance and be prepared to answer then over and over in the interview.

I'm speaking from experience here.