anthroid
Proud yod dropper
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 15,781
No happy socks because nobody gets Manitoba.
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« Reply #135 on: January 16, 2007, 06:20:05 PM » |
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Let's don't forget the obvious for the Job Hunt Registry: Prepaid accounts with USPS and FedX. My sterling paper clips have to get to their destination somehow, after all. I'm also registered at Godiva (bon bons), Jack Daniels (bourbon), and, since Trabb gave me the idea, Abita Brewery (craft beers).
Oh, but gifts that reveal how much they cost are so...well...tacky. I suggest that the Job Hunting Gift Registry include open-ended FedEx, USPS, and UPS accounts with no limits. And why has no one mentioned Tiffany's? You can only get a job if you look like you don't need a job (kind of like loans and credit in general, come to think of it). Wearing Important Pieces Of Jewelry during interviews or even in the photos you send with your application will convey that message well; and, during the interview, you can subtly gift the chair of the department with your tennis bracelets, Rolex watches, emerald rings, and sapphire necklaces (diamonds are so 2005). |
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Do you hail from Planet Hello Kitty? It's like an action movie, but boring.
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minor_t
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« Reply #136 on: January 16, 2007, 06:35:21 PM » |
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Oh, I just love this thread, but I sometimes feel as if I've wandered into "posting while plastered." Not that any of you are plastered. I'm quite aware that you are all stapled, tattooed, registered, drugged (well, maybe only doctormommy), rhinocerosized, triangulated, and blue.
mt
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voxprincipalis
Foxaliciously Cinnamon-Scented (and Most Poetic)
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 16,441
Has potentially infinite removable wallets
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« Reply #137 on: January 16, 2007, 06:55:09 PM » |
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And why has no one mentioned Tiffany's? You can only get a job if you look like you don't need a job (kind of like loans and credit in general, come to think of it). Wearing Important Pieces Of Jewelry during interviews or even in the photos you send with your application will convey that message well
Does that include renting a wedding ring? How about an engagement ring with a big rock in it so the Search Committee won't look down on your dinky-sized diamond? (Remember that thread?) VP |
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prytania3
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« Reply #138 on: January 16, 2007, 08:51:41 PM » |
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And why has no one mentioned Tiffany's? You can only get a job if you look like you don't need a job (kind of like loans and credit in general, come to think of it). Wearing Important Pieces Of Jewelry during interviews or even in the photos you send with your application will convey that message well
Does that include renting a wedding ring? How about an engagement ring with a big rock in it so the Search Committee won't look down on your dinky-sized diamond? (Remember that thread?) VP I remember that thread! What a riot! |
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Clowns, I tell you. Clowns.
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bibliothecula
Academic ronin
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 3,727
like Bunnicula, only with books
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« Reply #139 on: January 17, 2007, 11:16:05 AM » |
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Argh! Of all the days to be offline, when this thread is red-hot.
My cv is written with henna across my abdomen. I belly dance for the committee. That way I can tuck in any areas that are lacking and emphasize the stronger ones.
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I came. I saw. I cited.
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case_insensitive
Indefatigable Maverick Giver of Gold Stars and Ever-So Slightly
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 12,342
Life is an endurance race. Pace yourself.
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« Reply #140 on: January 17, 2007, 11:16:48 AM » |
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Argh! Of all the days to be offline, when this thread is red-hot.
My cv is written with henna across my abdomen. I belly dance for the committee. That way I can tuck in any areas that are lacking and emphasize the stronger ones.
That right there is an award winning idea or post or something. |
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Director of the CHE MYOB Professional Development Program,
An initiative of the CHE STFU Center for Professional Development.
Chairperson of the GAB CPE Series.
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prof_mom
Snarktastic
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 3,931
Mackerel smacking champion
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« Reply #141 on: January 17, 2007, 11:35:44 AM » |
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I tried to talk to the admin yesterday about gifts and NMRs, etc.
She did not answer me. She had a new scarf around her neck that she kept smelling. (The scene reminded me of that guy from the Producers who kept smelling his blanket). Whenever she would smell the scarf, she would get up and go to the filing cabinet and bring out a different folder and shred some documents. Then she would smile.
Today, she is wearing a new bracelet. Every time she looks at it, she says something nice about candidate X.
She told us today that all of our A list candidates have withdrawn from the search. I asked for a file so I could contact one of them and she looked at some brand new pointy-toed shoes on her feet and said the person asked not to be contacted anymore by any of the sc members. She then mentioned the teaching award of Candidate x.
I asked her to look up an email address for one of the other candidates, and she said that person got in some sort of accident. Then she mentioned the recent publication of candidate x and asked if I was impressed that it received the top paper award at a conference.
She had a strange look on her face and said she was going to get a massage during lunch. Apparently, someone sent a gift certificate. She showed me the card and when she held it up, she mentioned that candidate x received funding for hus project.
What do you think this means?
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*!* is contagious, but appropriate hu use can protect you (see http://www.hupronoun.org/). My God. Take your pom poms elsewhere unless you have something substantive to say. |
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case_insensitive
Indefatigable Maverick Giver of Gold Stars and Ever-So Slightly
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 12,342
Life is an endurance race. Pace yourself.
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« Reply #142 on: January 17, 2007, 11:38:28 AM » |
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It means your admin is unable to answer direct questions... or to focus on the task at hand... or to have normal professional conversation... which is a sign of... something psychologically awry.
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Director of the CHE MYOB Professional Development Program,
An initiative of the CHE STFU Center for Professional Development.
Chairperson of the GAB CPE Series.
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sirkdn
Darkside
Senior member
Posts: 389
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« Reply #143 on: January 17, 2007, 11:54:59 AM » |
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It means your admin is unable to answer direct questions... or to focus on the task at hand... or to have normal professional conversation... which is a sign of... something psychologically awry.
Maybe Newdochere applied and she is distracted?? |
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mrhistory
Senior member
Posts: 728
the hardest working man in the humanities
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« Reply #144 on: January 17, 2007, 12:11:29 PM » |
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I tried to talk to the admin yesterday about gifts and NMRs, etc.
What do you think this means?
Drugs. Definitely. The big question is, however, when she mentioned the mere memory of Candidate X's file, did she massage *herself*? |
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"Horton hears a hu!"
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doctormommy
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« Reply #145 on: January 17, 2007, 12:16:13 PM » |
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I tried to talk to the admin yesterday about gifts and NMRs, etc.
She did not answer me. She had a new scarf around her neck that she kept smelling. (The scene reminded me of that guy from the Producers who kept smelling his blanket). Whenever she would smell the scarf, she would get up and go to the filing cabinet and bring out a different folder and shred some documents. Then she would smile.
Today, she is wearing a new bracelet. Every time she looks at it, she says something nice about candidate X.
She told us today that all of our A list candidates have withdrawn from the search. I asked for a file so I could contact one of them and she looked at some brand new pointy-toed shoes on her feet and said the person asked not to be contacted anymore by any of the sc members. She then mentioned the teaching award of Candidate x.
I asked her to look up an email address for one of the other candidates, and she said that person got in some sort of accident. Then she mentioned the recent publication of candidate x and asked if I was impressed that it received the top paper award at a conference.
She had a strange look on her face and said she was going to get a massage during lunch. Apparently, someone sent a gift certificate. She showed me the card and when she held it up, she mentioned that candidate x received funding for hus project.
What do you think this means?
It means she's doing her job VERY well! That admin deserves a raise. (walks away whistling nonchalontly...not making eye contact...) |
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bibliothecula
Academic ronin
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 3,727
like Bunnicula, only with books
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« Reply #146 on: January 17, 2007, 12:31:23 PM » |
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It means your admin is unable to answer direct questions... or to focus on the task at hand... or to have normal professional conversation... which is a sign of... something psychologically awry.
Maybe Newdochere applied and she is distracted?? Yes, it is obvious that the next step for her is self-massage when thinking about the candidate. |
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I came. I saw. I cited.
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voxprincipalis
Foxaliciously Cinnamon-Scented (and Most Poetic)
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 16,441
Has potentially infinite removable wallets
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« Reply #147 on: January 17, 2007, 12:36:53 PM » |
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It means your admin is unable to answer direct questions... or to focus on the task at hand... or to have normal professional conversation... which is a sign of... something psychologically awry.
Whoosh! :-) VP |
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untenured
On far too many committees
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 5,540
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« Reply #148 on: January 17, 2007, 02:44:41 PM » |
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Upon viewing this thread's subject, I deliberately avoided clicking. If I did, I would have pulled out my pimp hand on the OP. As the size of the thread grew from 3 to 5 to 8 to 10 (!) pages, I wondered what the heck about staples would attract such interest. Finally, curiosity got the best of me.
I am so sorry I've been missing all the fun.
Say, whatever happened to OP. He's probably sequestered away in some insane asylum. Likely she thinks were are all a collection of freaks.
Is that so bad though?
Untenured
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You are among the Pure and Truthful, however small their Number.
My goodness, that was an exceptionally good analysis of the forum. |
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case_insensitive
Indefatigable Maverick Giver of Gold Stars and Ever-So Slightly
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 12,342
Life is an endurance race. Pace yourself.
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« Reply #149 on: January 17, 2007, 02:48:07 PM » |
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Say, whatever happened to OP. He's probably sequestered away in some insane asylum. Likely she thinks were are all a collection of freaks.
Someone in another thread suggested we are a Monty Pythonesque sort of troup... |
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Director of the CHE MYOB Professional Development Program,
An initiative of the CHE STFU Center for Professional Development.
Chairperson of the GAB CPE Series.
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