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psychle
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« Reply #300 on: February 02, 2007, 12:00:29 AM » |
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Harken and read. Rarken and heed.
Rarkening sounds dangerous... does it involve a stapler? |
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fiona
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« Reply #301 on: February 02, 2007, 03:09:08 AM » |
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If you really want to know what it means to rarken, keep checking this thread. I'm sure someone will spill the horrific truth and glory in it. People here are like that. The Fiona Harken and read. Rarken and heed.
Rarkening sounds dangerous... does it involve a stapler? |
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The Fiona or perhaps La Fiona
Professor of Thread Killing, Fiork University
The Right Reverend Fiona, PhD, Bishop of the Fora
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onlyanne
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« Reply #302 on: February 02, 2007, 03:30:02 AM » |
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The problem with this thread is that we neurotic job seekers have moved passed non-productive fretting about CV-attachment technologies and are now fretting non-productively about the vagaries of interviews and offers. And none of us have come up with anything ridiculously amusing enough to spur y'all on to greater heights. Sorry about that.
(I'm trying to work rarken into a concern that SC will notice you put your special not-purchased-at-a-drugstore interview pantyhose on left-foot-first rather than the canonical right-foot-first, but I'm having no luck.)
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psychle
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« Reply #303 on: February 02, 2007, 10:40:08 AM » |
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Skeet Shooting, CV-style
It is a calm, cool day. A deafening silence fills the air.
The Lone Job-Seeker stands by, ready to spring into action. He has one hand on his left hip; the other hand is hovering in the air by his right hip, inches away from his gun. His fingers are twitching, though not from anticipation. He simply has carpal-tunnel syndrome from hours spent writing customized letters of teaching and research interests.
But the moment has come. The sound of a lever being pulled resonates for miles. Suddenly, a rolled-up CV is fired into the air.
The Lone Job-Seeker reaches for his gun. But it is not just any gun. It is a dual-action, heavy-duty staple gun (with armor-piercing staples, no less). He whips it out (hey, no dirty minds allowed here) of his holster. Yes, he has a holster for his staple gun. A leather holster with studs.
With a deft swing of his arm and squeeze of his hand, the Lone Job-Seeker fires a staple toward the quickly unfurling CV. The staple zings through the air (yes, staples zing), rapidly approaching the airborne CV.
A hit!
But the staple penetrated the center of the CV. That simply will not do.
The Lone Job-Seeker sighs and readies himself for another shot. The lever is pulled and another CV becomes airborne. Another staple is fired.
Another hit!
This time, the staple pierced the upper-left corner of the CV, at a 45-degree angle, no less.
Perfection.
The Lone Job-Seeker reholsters his staple gun as he watches the CV flutter to the ground. He smiles as a feeling of contentment washes over him.
This CV shall be sent to the search committee.
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prof_mom
Snarktastic
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 3,931
Mackerel smacking champion
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« Reply #304 on: February 02, 2007, 11:41:55 AM » |
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Skeet Shooting, CV-style
I love it! |
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*!* is contagious, but appropriate hu use can protect you (see http://www.hupronoun.org/). My God. Take your pom poms elsewhere unless you have something substantive to say. |
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dr_evil
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« Reply #305 on: February 02, 2007, 12:23:09 PM » |
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Skeet Shooting, CV-style
LOL! Thanks for the laugh! Now we need the sequel, "CVs Shot Down, the Search Committee Strikes Back." The Search Committee meets in their Fortress of Bureaucracy, reviewing the CVs of candidates from around the Empire.... |
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Drinking a lot always helps.
Wheeeeee! You go, oh evilicious one.
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prof_mom
Snarktastic
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 3,931
Mackerel smacking champion
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« Reply #306 on: February 02, 2007, 02:31:30 PM » |
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I called one of our candidates today about hus pending interview. Hu did not answer either phone number. No big deal. I left a message and send an email with the information about the interview.
About 2 hours later, the candidate called back at all my numbers and sent me email. Hu was apologizing for not answering hus phone and for taking so long to get back to me. I could tell that the person was in a panic. I understood more about the candidate's panic after reading posts from candidates here.
I told hu to relax. I said that I do not expect hu to sit by the phone all day every day and that the message was not urgent and that it is not a problem. I will try even harder to be considerate of our candidates. I will try to communicate with them and to prevent sc induced panic.
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*!* is contagious, but appropriate hu use can protect you (see http://www.hupronoun.org/). My God. Take your pom poms elsewhere unless you have something substantive to say. |
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athena1
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« Reply #307 on: February 02, 2007, 07:35:09 PM » |
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I told hu to relax. I said that I do not expect hu to sit by the phone all day every day and that the message was not urgent and that it is not a problem. I will try even harder to be considerate of our candidates. I will try to communicate with them and to prevent sc induced panic.
This job candidate thanks you. |
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case_insensitive
Indefatigable Maverick Giver of Gold Stars and Ever-So Slightly
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 12,342
Life is an endurance race. Pace yourself.
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« Reply #308 on: February 02, 2007, 07:37:27 PM » |
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I called one of our candidates today about hus pending interview. Hu did not answer either phone number. No big deal. I left a message and send an email with the information about the interview.
About 2 hours later, the candidate called back at all my numbers and sent me email. Hu was apologizing for not answering hus phone and for taking so long to get back to me. I could tell that the person was in a panic. I understood more about the candidate's panic after reading posts from candidates here.
I told hu to relax. I said that I do not expect hu to sit by the phone all day every day and that the message was not urgent and that it is not a problem. I will try even harder to be considerate of our candidates. I will try to communicate with them and to prevent sc induced panic.
We love you, prof_mom! |
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Director of the CHE MYOB Professional Development Program,
An initiative of the CHE STFU Center for Professional Development.
Chairperson of the GAB CPE Series.
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rodentmind
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« Reply #309 on: April 01, 2007, 07:28:27 AM » |
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I like to include the following with my application: a smattering, or smorgasbord if you will, of high quality-stock business cards in shades of melon, lemon, and bone with the university-in-question's name, the department, my name, and the title of the job for which I'm applying. That way, when I show up for the interview, the SC can simply hand me a stack of the card they feel most suits my talents. Doesn't everybody do this, or is everyone but me a total cheapskate?
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huyoucallinghu
New member
Posts: 8
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« Reply #310 on: November 30, 2007, 12:33:40 AM » |
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This thread is too valuable, and filled with far too many bits of information, to be kept hidden from this year's lucky tribe of job-hunters.
Gentlehus, start your naked mole rats!
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yellowtractor
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« Reply #311 on: November 30, 2007, 12:35:45 AM » |
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No. No. Nononononono.....
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Just go and collapse in someone's office and moan, "You've got to help me; I just can't be the guy who brings the ham." |
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scheherazade
1/3 of the Triumvirate of Evil and the Most Delicious
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 7,109
Running feminist prostitution rings since 1998
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« Reply #312 on: November 30, 2007, 01:16:44 AM » |
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Apparently, the staple/paper clip issue is more insidious than previously believed: http://community.livejournal.com/applyingtograd/2763613.html |
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You historians disturb me sometimes. |
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mended_drum
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« Reply #313 on: November 30, 2007, 08:19:00 AM » |
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How about responding to the 1/2 thick dossier mailed spiral-bound with a cover? I mean, why stop at staples vs. paperclips?
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prof_mom
Snarktastic
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 3,931
Mackerel smacking champion
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« Reply #314 on: November 30, 2007, 10:03:20 AM » |
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I love this thread. Thanks for bringing it back.
I hope to receive many NMRs from our applicants this year.
Might I remind applicants to ensure that they put their name on everything? It seems that this is not obvious.
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*!* is contagious, but appropriate hu use can protect you (see http://www.hupronoun.org/). My God. Take your pom poms elsewhere unless you have something substantive to say. |
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