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limeorchid
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« on: January 10, 2007, 03:47:55 AM » |
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I thought that for any younger posters and/or lurkers here it may help if I posted my journey.
If you are not interested, please stop now. This is the story of a woman, with breast. I hope it is short (the thin letter).
I found a lump in my breast last week. I called for my hubby to come into the bathroom. "feel this" I said.
"Does it feel strange to you?"
"Yes. It feels like a definate lump."
Fu*k, just what I need. I'm busy and exhausted. I do not want to deal with this.
Monday I make an appoitment to have it looked at. Tuesday, I go into the Dr's office.
"Oh yes, is this what you are talking about?"
"Yes" I say
"Is it anything to worry about?"
"Well, we (What "We" I am the one that may have breast cancer) should have it looked at, I mean it is non-tender and hard and not moveable."
"You are only 34?"
"Yes"
"You breast fed?"
"Yes"
"Your first pregnacy was when you were young?"
"21" I say
"No family history?"
"No"
I expect to hear, no big deal, let's be sure though.
"WOW!!" The Dr. says.
"I'm sorry."
And writes me a RX for a diagnostic mammogram and a ultrasound.
"Good luck, they will fax me the results."
FU. I am a nurse that has worked in women's heath. I am angry. (All women are afraid or angry when they find out they may have breast cancer.)
I come home, tell hubby what is happening and fall asleep to escape.
Later I say, I do not care about my breast, take them, I just want to live. 1 in 8 women get breast cancer, of them 20% die, more under the age of 34. I want a double mascetomy, no matter what.
He says "I prefer you with breast."
"Well, at my age, they will take my breast if it is cancer.", I say.
"I know, I know." he says.
What does this mean, to my sexuality with him?
I am totally ok with having no breast on my own. Still, this is my life partner. My love.
He says "I would rather have you alive than with breast."
He is amazing. It is hard for us both. He is honest and I respect that.
I cry. I cry.
I call friends. I want to hear "No big deal, you are fine."
This is the beginning.
I will keep anyone interested posted. I go for a mammogram in the AM. I will post what it is like, for any young women out there who do not know.
Well, good-night.
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abuflletcher
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« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2007, 04:03:36 AM » |
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My thoughts are with you.
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latis
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« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2007, 04:41:55 AM » |
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I am sorry you are going through this.
'Sending you good wishes.
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catmom
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« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2007, 04:51:12 AM » |
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I am so sorry, limeorchid. Sending you good energy! Hopefully, it will all be okay!!
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tenured_feminist
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« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2007, 06:07:21 AM » |
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I hope your outcome is the same as mine -- got the mammogram and it was nothing. Best they could say is that women who've nursed sometimes just get benign lumps. Mine disappeared mysteriously soon after the scare.
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You people are not fooling me. I know exactly what occurred in that thread, and I know exactly what you all are doing. |
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brunhilde
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« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2007, 08:10:25 AM » |
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Sorry to hear about this. Sending you good wishes.
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Rebuke a wise man and he will love thee.
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betty_p
Pissed off and wistful
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 1,870
Ooh! Piece o' candy.
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« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2007, 10:07:08 AM » |
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Limeorchid, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I add my good wishes to those of the others here. Let us know how things go with the mammogram.
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But I'm not bitter.
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dept_geek
SPAF by decree, documentor of local meetups, and
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 7,688
through a glass darkly....
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« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2007, 01:38:59 PM » |
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Sending you good thoughts, limeorchid. Please, keep us up to date.
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I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code. When in doubt, add chocolate.
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infopri
I guess I'm now a VERY
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 17,917
When all else fails, let us agree to disagree.
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« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2007, 02:01:50 PM » |
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I'm so sorry for the scare. Try not to borrow bad news, though. It may yet turn out to be benign. If not, remember that, if 20 percent die, that means 80 percent live. I've known a number of women with breast cancer, and every single one of them (thank goodness) has had a positive outcome.
My thoughts are with you.
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if there's a next time, I'll remind myself I don't need to engage.
MYOB. Y enseņen bien a sus hijos. (with thanks to cronopio) |
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prytania3
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« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2007, 02:05:31 PM » |
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I second Infopri. I had the exact same thing happen to me, and it turned out to be nothing. Moreover, if you are a nurse, you know all the progress that's been made with breast cancer. You sound like you're acting in panic now. Why don't you first get the facts before you start making radical decisions.
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Clowns, I tell you. Clowns.
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gennimom
Somewhat Southern (Have I really posted that much?)
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 16,764
Let's get summer over with! Me want snow!
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« Reply #10 on: January 10, 2007, 02:21:40 PM » |
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I've known 2 people with breast cancer. Both are doing fine, and one was told that on a scale of 1-10 how bad it was, she was a 9.
Don't give up yet!
I have fibrocystic breasts, so I get lumps all the time. I don't worry about them until they don't go away. They've always been benign, so here's hoping yours will be too!
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...only after reading gm's post, my new mantra is "always listen to gennimom".
Monday reeks! - Garfield The outside of a horse is good for the inside of a person (or something like that). |
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aquamarine
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« Reply #11 on: January 10, 2007, 03:25:05 PM » |
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Adding my good thoughts too, limeorchid. I had this scare about six months ago--had to go all the way through the biopsy stage. I well remember anger, the panicky feeling, and the constant worry about what I was going to do if.
Everything turned out to be just fine. The doctor who did the biopsy was very reassuring, noting that the vast majority of cases like this do turn out to be benign, but doctors are extremely cautious about making sure.
Here's hoping you'll soon join that majority--keep us posted.
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professor_pat
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« Reply #12 on: January 10, 2007, 05:07:54 PM » |
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I'm guessing you'll be amazed at the number of women (and men) who emerge and tell you they've had the same experience. And even if the biopsy does turn out positive, that doesn't mean it's necessarily a serious threat to your health; mine was diagnosed as DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ), an early stage, and they did a lumpectomy and before very long you couldn't have told looking at me that anything had happened. My breast was barely affected in appearance. The stats at the time suggested that even if I'd declined the lumpectomy I would probably have been fine with no diminished life expectancy.
Now, that being said, if you do end up needing radiation (which I did after the lumpectomy), it'll leave you pretty tired, but in my experience those effects faded quickly after the radiation weeks were done. If you need chemo, there are new approaches to even that that have *much* less severe side effects than in past years.
So let us know what your diagnosis is, then we can offer even more specific encouragement and support. Take care.
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To me, forums are more of a relaxing period in which the poster can allow himself or himself to be lost in a sea of wonder.
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anthroid
Proud yod dropper
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 15,781
No happy socks because nobody gets Manitoba.
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« Reply #13 on: January 10, 2007, 06:35:55 PM » |
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limeorchid, thinking of you at this hard time. I've known many women, and one man, with breast cancer. They are all still very much alive, in most cases 10-30 years after diagnosis. The most extreme case, a very good friend, was diagnosed when she was in her midforties after 3 children. She elected to remove both of her breasts to eliminate any risk whatsoever for recurrence. 5 years later she is cancer free, and her husband, my very best friend in the whole world, is more in love with her than ever.
I am sending peace and calm your way.
Best,
Anthroid
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Do you hail from Planet Hello Kitty? It's like an action movie, but boring.
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minor_t
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« Reply #14 on: January 10, 2007, 11:05:06 PM » |
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You are not alone. It could be nothing. If it is indeed "something" there's much that can be done. Check to see if there's a Gilda's Club in your area. http://www.gildasclub.org/. There are some very cool and supportive people there, and they know exactly how you feel. Take heart and let us know what's going on. mt |
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