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prytania3
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« on: November 28, 2006, 09:41:02 PM » |
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Okay. So if Spork didn't live in the southeast and I didn't live in the northeast, who knows, we might have something going. Ablewasi has been kidnapped. My friends are putting the kibosh on my teacher crush while reminding me students are off limits. Now that my new medications seem to be working so splendidly, I feel like being out and about more.
Okay. So I figured the fastest way into the world of dating was through the internet.
Now, here's the thing: I posted my picture and I seem to get lots of hits, but there must have been something I said in my profile that is turning guys off because I'm not getting that many emails. Although I have gotten 3 pretty interesting ones. I mean, I told them all felony charges had been expunged from my record and that I was no longer a member of the Communist party. What are these guys looking for anyway?
So, I'm asking in all sincerity if you were to write a personal ad--what would you say? Have fun with it!
Oh, and Larryc, I know you're married, but please write one because I know it would be funny as hell (no pressure there).
Thanks all!
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Clowns, I tell you. Clowns.
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case_insensitive
Indefatigable Maverick Giver of Gold Stars and Ever-So Slightly
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 12,342
Life is an endurance race. Pace yourself.
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« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2006, 09:58:21 PM » |
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spork lives in the southeast? *hmm!*
;-)
I have never found an internet ad all that useful for dating. I did the e-harmony thing for a while. Mostly, I found that men who were "matched" with me, couldn't handle the idea of a woman with a PhD. *shrug*
Mom says I don't need a husband, but rather a wife (i.e. to be domestic and look after me since i'm not gifted that way). However, I don't think she'd like me to take her literally on that...
My current boyfriend is someone i met in church (don't faint) in the last town where I lived and his educational level is lower than most guys i was "matched" with on e-harmony but he is more intelligent than any of them were and certainly isn't bothered by my over-education.
however...
the dry version of the ad might be something like this:
40-something athletic adventuresome academic single female seeks intelligent single male companion interested in some of the following, in no particular order: cycling, swimming, triathlons, Bible study & worship, travel, foreign languages and cultures.
of course, i'm an accountant, so i'm not very creative... ;-)
and, if i post my picture, i'll get no response, for sure. :-o
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« Last Edit: November 28, 2006, 09:58:49 PM by case_insensitive »
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Director of the CHE MYOB Professional Development Program,
An initiative of the CHE STFU Center for Professional Development.
Chairperson of the GAB CPE Series.
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prytania3
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« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2006, 10:14:49 PM » |
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spork lives in the southeast? *hmm!*
;-)
of course, i'm an accountant, so i'm not very creative... ;-)
and, if i post my picture, i'll get no response, for sure. :-o
Yes, ladies, Spork is in the southeast and available. But Case, you slay me. Accountants are the MOST creative (and hey, if you ever find yourself bored, look at those Goog financials and tell me if you see anything fishy). Didn't they move your department into fine arts yet? And I don't believe that about your picture! |
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Clowns, I tell you. Clowns.
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case_insensitive
Indefatigable Maverick Giver of Gold Stars and Ever-So Slightly
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 12,342
Life is an endurance race. Pace yourself.
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« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2006, 10:17:40 PM » |
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Didn't they move your department into fine arts yet?
No, but I once applied for the Enron Professorial Chair of Financial Accountability... |
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Director of the CHE MYOB Professional Development Program,
An initiative of the CHE STFU Center for Professional Development.
Chairperson of the GAB CPE Series.
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dr_evil
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« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2006, 10:18:55 PM » |
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So, I'm asking in all sincerity if you were to write a personal ad--what would you say? Have fun with it! Having fun requires me to not be serious, so apologies for that. Mad scientist with aspirations for world domination seeks intelligent co-conspirator with a wicked sense of humor. Seriously, I don't get attracted to someone until I find out he likes a good (or sometimes bad) joke. |
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Drinking a lot always helps.
Wheeeeee! You go, oh evilicious one.
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prytania3
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« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2006, 10:21:10 PM » |
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So, I'm asking in all sincerity if you were to write a personal ad--what would you say? Have fun with it! Having fun requires me to not be serious, so apologies for that. Mad scientist with aspirations for world domination seeks intelligent co-conspirator with a wicked sense of humor. Seriously, I don't get attracted to someone until I find out he likes a good (or sometimes bad) joke. Can I steal that? |
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Clowns, I tell you. Clowns.
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dr_evil
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« Reply #6 on: November 28, 2006, 10:26:43 PM » |
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Mad scientist with aspirations for world domination seeks intelligent co-conspirator with a wicked sense of humor. Seriously, I don't get attracted to someone until I find out he likes a good (or sometimes bad) joke.
Can I steal that? The serious part or the mad scientist bit? Sure, permission to steal granted. |
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Drinking a lot always helps.
Wheeeeee! You go, oh evilicious one.
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voxprincipalis
Foxaliciously Cinnamon-Scented (and Most Poetic)
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 17,442
Has potentially infinite removable wallets
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« Reply #7 on: November 28, 2006, 10:27:58 PM » |
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I posted this on another thread, but I'm fond enough of it that I'll repeat it here, with some minor upgrades:
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Immediate opening: Tenure-track position in Significant Otherhood. Preferred specialties include Massage, Cooking, and Fixing Things Around the House. A well-developed Sense of Humor is a requirement. Please send CV, statement of interest, syllabi for first three dates, and statement of interpersonal-relationship philosophy, including description of appropriate gifts and flowers for particular occasions. Philosophy statement should also include detailed answers to the following questions: "Do I look fat in this?", "Why don't you ever ask me about my day?", and "Do you mind if I wear fluffy pajamas to bed instead of uncomfortable corset lingerie?" Review of applications begins immediately. Candidates who advance in the search may be asked for letters of reference from former employers. Compensation and benefits packages are excellent -- foxalicious, in fact!
VP
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If you need me, I'll be hiding under a rock until mid-August. Try not to need me, unless you come bearing Chinese food.
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crazybatlady
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« Reply #8 on: November 28, 2006, 10:31:56 PM » |
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I posted this on another thread, but I'm fond enough of it that I'll repeat it here, with some minor upgrades:
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Immediate opening: Tenure-track position in Significant Otherhood. Preferred specialties include Massage, Cooking, and Fixing Things Around the House. A well-developed Sense of Humor is a requirement. Please send CV, statement of interest, syllabi for first three dates, and statement of interpersonal-relationship philosophy, including description of appropriate gifts and flowers for particular occasions. Philosophy statement should also include detailed answers to the following questions: "Do I look fat in this?", "Why don't you ever ask me about my day?", and "Do you mind if I wear fluffy pajamas to bed instead of uncomfortable corset lingerie?" Review of applications begins immediately. Candidates who advance in the search may be asked for letters of reference from former employers. Compensation and benefits packages are excellent -- foxalicious, in fact!
VP
What you need is a lesbian. Oh, stereotypes! I love 'em. |
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As always, CBL rules! All hail the CBL!
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voxprincipalis
Foxaliciously Cinnamon-Scented (and Most Poetic)
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 17,442
Has potentially infinite removable wallets
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« Reply #9 on: November 28, 2006, 10:36:13 PM » |
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What you need is a lesbian.
That would make an excellent bumper sticker. :-) VP |
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If you need me, I'll be hiding under a rock until mid-August. Try not to need me, unless you come bearing Chinese food.
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crazybatlady
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« Reply #10 on: November 28, 2006, 10:37:04 PM » |
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LOL!
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As always, CBL rules! All hail the CBL!
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prytania3
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« Reply #11 on: November 28, 2006, 10:38:00 PM » |
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I posted this on another thread, but I'm fond enough of it that I'll repeat it here, with some minor upgrades:
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Immediate opening: Tenure-track position in Significant Otherhood. Preferred specialties include Massage, Cooking, and Fixing Things Around the House. A well-developed Sense of Humor is a requirement. Please send CV, statement of interest, syllabi for first three dates, and statement of interpersonal-relationship philosophy, including description of appropriate gifts and flowers for particular occasions. Philosophy statement should also include detailed answers to the following questions: "Do I look fat in this?", "Why don't you ever ask me about my day?", and "Do you mind if I wear fluffy pajamas to bed instead of uncomfortable corset lingerie?" Review of applications begins immediately. Candidates who advance in the search may be asked for letters of reference from former employers. Compensation and benefits packages are excellent -- foxalicious, in fact!
VP
That is too excellent. Were you thinking about using it? Or giving it away? Just curious, of course. I'd just hate for it to go to waste, that's all. |
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Clowns, I tell you. Clowns.
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dr_evil
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« Reply #12 on: November 28, 2006, 10:42:49 PM » |
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I posted this on another thread, but I'm fond enough of it that I'll repeat it here, with some minor upgrades:
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Immediate opening: Tenure-track position in Significant Otherhood. Preferred specialties include Massage, Cooking, and Fixing Things Around the House. A well-developed Sense of Humor is a requirement. Please send CV, statement of interest, syllabi for first three dates, and statement of interpersonal-relationship philosophy, including description of appropriate gifts and flowers for particular occasions. Philosophy statement should also include detailed answers to the following questions: "Do I look fat in this?", "Why don't you ever ask me about my day?", and "Do you mind if I wear fluffy pajamas to bed instead of uncomfortable corset lingerie?" Review of applications begins immediately. Candidates who advance in the search may be asked for letters of reference from former employers. Compensation and benefits packages are excellent -- foxalicious, in fact!
VP
LOL! I love it! |
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Drinking a lot always helps.
Wheeeeee! You go, oh evilicious one.
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spork
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« Reply #13 on: November 28, 2006, 10:48:33 PM » |
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This is probably too much information (a man as available as myself must maintain his air of mystery to remain attractive), but I recently tried online personals on two different websites. The first site I tried was a waste of time and money -- the only people who contacted me were scam artists (sob story followed by request for money) or loonies. The second site, which I haven't been using for very long, seems to be generating better results.
I'm guessing that in the absence of a coven of Jewish aunties settting up their nieces and nephews with each other, people are forced to utilize one of two different strategies. Either the shotgun approach, hoping that someone will respond/connect, or the soulmate approach, contacting only a very few seemingly-compatible individuals. I think that if there's a group of people in which both strategies are used, the strategies tend to void each other because of all the white noise that's generated. There's probably an economic model for this, but I don't know what it is.
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a.k.a. gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket
"Please do not force people who are exhausted to take medication for hallucinations." -- Memo from the Chair, Department of White Privilege Studies, Fiork University
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voxprincipalis
Foxaliciously Cinnamon-Scented (and Most Poetic)
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 17,442
Has potentially infinite removable wallets
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« Reply #14 on: November 28, 2006, 11:03:05 PM » |
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I posted this on another thread, but I'm fond enough of it that I'll repeat it here, with some minor upgrades:
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Immediate opening: Tenure-track position in Significant Otherhood. Preferred specialties include Massage, Cooking, and Fixing Things Around the House. A well-developed Sense of Humor is a requirement. Please send CV, statement of interest, syllabi for first three dates, and statement of interpersonal-relationship philosophy, including description of appropriate gifts and flowers for particular occasions. Philosophy statement should also include detailed answers to the following questions: "Do I look fat in this?", "Why don't you ever ask me about my day?", and "Do you mind if I wear fluffy pajamas to bed instead of uncomfortable corset lingerie?" Review of applications begins immediately. Candidates who advance in the search may be asked for letters of reference from former employers. Compensation and benefits packages are excellent -- foxalicious, in fact!
VP
That is too excellent. Were you thinking about using it? Or giving it away? Just curious, of course. I'd just hate for it to go to waste, that's all. I am certainly reserving the *right* to use it, if that's what you're asking. :-) Of course, I assume that just from this posting alone I will garner throngs of applicants. I will be sure to immediately reject out of hand all those who address me as "Dear Sir" or who fail to use fancy paper clips. :-) VP |
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If you need me, I'll be hiding under a rock until mid-August. Try not to need me, unless you come bearing Chinese food.
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