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scampster
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« Reply #44445 on: February 14, 2012, 10:45:16 AM » |
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I still disagree that turning someone down explicitly is the more polite thing to do, but as noted, there's no universal agreement on this subject, so if it's working for you, by all means continue. I refuse to believe that I'm behaving rudely by not responding to initial contacts from men who don't interest me. See Chaos' note above, that just because someone wants me to do something doesn't mean I'm obligated to do it. If I saw every email as a task requiring a response of some kind, then I'd be too overwhelmed to continue at all.
Especially considering how little thought some of these men put into the message they send you. If someone messages me and has obviously engaged with my profile (the ratio of these e-mails to a generic e-mail that could be sent to anyone is very low), then I usually respond in some fashion. |
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When you are a scientist your opinions and prejudices become facts. Science is like magic that way!
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prytania3
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« Reply #44446 on: February 14, 2012, 02:07:20 PM » |
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Happy Singles Awareness Day.
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Clowns, I tell you. Clowns.
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alto_stratus
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« Reply #44447 on: February 14, 2012, 02:17:35 PM » |
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Is that Happy SAD for short? Instead of chocolate and cards, does one exchange martinis?
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« Last Edit: February 14, 2012, 02:19:36 PM by alto_stratus »
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prytania3
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« Reply #44448 on: February 14, 2012, 02:37:58 PM » |
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Actually there's a meet-up Valentine's party tonight. I think I am going to go.
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Clowns, I tell you. Clowns.
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merce
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« Reply #44449 on: February 14, 2012, 03:18:08 PM » |
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Well, I'm posting for my next thrashing:
M and I still see each other a few times a week. Very mellow, low-key. He comes over and we talk for a while then he goes home or we go to sleep. That is a euphemism only recently again.
I gave up on him. I gave up my expectations.
I'm not saying this was the magic key that made it all work.
I do want to say that I just don't think angst over him but because I don't feel like that about him or "us" anymore.
So I didn't feel like Valentine's day would be relevant to us. He may be the romantic kind with the right woman but I didn't think he'd even notice its coming and going this year. Or not in relation to me anyway.
But, he asked me if he could buy me something I'd mentioned I wanted to get myself. he asked if he could buy it for me and have that count as a Valentine's day gift. It was more than I would have asked a newish beau to spend on Valentine's for me. I didn't even answer. I thought he was joking.
Last night he asked in person if he could get it for me and take me to my favorite restaurant. He asked if that would be an OK Valentine's or would that be not good enough. He seemed a little nervous that I would say it was not enough or something. I don't need the purchase, just the dinner he proposed is a perfect Valentine's day treat.
Eventually I told him dinner and some chocolates is plenty.
He asked what kind of chocolates.
Poor boy.
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Who looks for God in the Bible? That's pretty dumb.
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spork
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« Reply #44450 on: February 14, 2012, 05:58:59 PM » |
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I believe in overt, politely worded turn-downs after a first date, prior to a second date materializing.
I never bothered responding to all the Russian mail order bride scammers who'd message me through Match.com. Online is different from in person.
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a.k.a. gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket
"Please do not force people who are exhausted to take medication for hallucinations." -- Memo from the Chair, Department of White Privilege Studies, Fiork University
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prytania3
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« Reply #44451 on: February 14, 2012, 08:39:10 PM » |
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I went to the Valentine's party. It was fun, but I didn't stay that late. I met someone I sort of liked. We'll see if he calls. Anyway, I signed up with this same group to play whirly ball.
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Clowns, I tell you. Clowns.
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tinyzombie
She of the Ass-Kicking Socks, and a
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 7,438
elevate from this point on - chuck d
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« Reply #44452 on: February 14, 2012, 08:59:01 PM » |
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Whirly ball sounds amazing. What is it?
I was hoping to meet someone nice at an event tonight. I had a blast with a friend, though, and tonight, that's enough.
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Correct, as usual, TZ. That's because you are not Dude. TZ, however, is Dude. TZ is my favorite. I wish YOU began with A. |
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merce
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« Reply #44453 on: February 14, 2012, 11:39:59 PM » |
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Yay for Pry!
And I'm going to say again that I really dislike the "mail-order Russian bride" title because it sounds like a dig about Russian women.
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Who looks for God in the Bible? That's pretty dumb.
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epistephiliac
Could serve monkey ass and empty clam shells and still win
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 3,940
The day needs my saving expertise
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« Reply #44454 on: February 15, 2012, 03:49:33 AM » |
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Here's an extremely detailed and thorough guide to Ok!Cupid that I came across. I found the explanation of how best to use the matching questions especially enlightening. (Thankfully, I was already doing most of what he suggests, do I don't have to go back and reanswer over 1000 questions...) |
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When asked about my research interests, I quote Kelly Kapoor: "Basically, everything that is awesome."
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spork
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« Reply #44455 on: February 15, 2012, 06:05:47 AM » |
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Yay for Pry!
And I'm going to say again that I really dislike the "mail-order Russian bride" title because it sounds like a dig about Russian women.
Since they're foreign, I really like a lot of Russian women. The scammers are generally men who pose as women. Of course since it takes two to tango, the dumb American men who think a woman in Russia actually uses a Match account are also to blame. |
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a.k.a. gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket
"Please do not force people who are exhausted to take medication for hallucinations." -- Memo from the Chair, Department of White Privilege Studies, Fiork University
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merinoblue
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« Reply #44456 on: February 15, 2012, 06:56:05 AM » |
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Since they're foreign, I really like a lot of Russian women. The scammers are generally men who pose as women. Of course since it takes two to tango, the dumb American men who think a woman in Russia actually uses a Match account are also to blame.
You must hold some kind of attraction for men that I don't. I never got that kind of attention on Match. |
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Sometimes I can start a party; sometimes I can't.
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rose_fingered_dawn
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« Reply #44457 on: February 15, 2012, 02:27:55 PM » |
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So there is this guy. I met him the very first day of grad school when I came in to write a language exam. He burst in twenty minutes late, at his many-th-attempt (I later found out), with bedhead, in a torn white t-shirt. I liked him from the get-go. He's pretty beautiful: tall with dark curly hair and glasses, and really absent-minded looking. He's pretty much my type in flesh. I looked at him whenever I could during the exam. He finished his exam early and I finished early too, even though I could have revised, just so I could follow him out and ask the grad secretary after he handed in his exam and left what "the guy who came in just before me"'s name was. I did very very very badly on the exam. Fast-forward a couple of months. He's one of the few people I feel really comfortable talking to without knowing them too well. We've talked about religion, childhood stuff, study stuff. But I've always stayed away because he's dating another grad student and things look pretty serious. But we kind of flirt whenever we see each other, and we both use the department library late into the night. We have an ongoing joke about him providing me with uppers to help with staying awake for exams, and suddenly last time he said that he'd rather deal with porn and not drugs. My laughter caught in my throat and I made an excuse and left the grad computer lab. Today after a long time we ran into each other again, and he asked me whether I was looking at porn on the computer. Sounds sleazy, but it was just a joke and he's a really decent guy.
I don't really have a crush on him, because he's unavailable, but it's still fun being teased and after he said that I again rushed out of the room and went to the bathroom and did all my blushing there. And then, in typical fashion, came back and didn't speak to him at all (shyness).
Why is everyone unavailable? I really want to have a proper heart-thumping-all-the-time crush.
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tinyzombie
She of the Ass-Kicking Socks, and a
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 7,438
elevate from this point on - chuck d
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« Reply #44458 on: February 15, 2012, 02:33:11 PM » |
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I really want to have a proper heart-thumping-all-the-time crush.
This is all I want. I miss it. We've all worked really hard for everything else; now get to it, Universe, and give us this last thing! |
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Correct, as usual, TZ. That's because you are not Dude. TZ, however, is Dude. TZ is my favorite. I wish YOU began with A. |
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rose_fingered_dawn
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« Reply #44459 on: February 15, 2012, 02:36:03 PM » |
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Yeah, TZ, I haven't had those since high-school. Somewhere along my twenties it got all serious and depressing and self-esteem-destroying when I crushed on anyone, but I remember in high school just seeing the object of my affections walking down the hallway in front of me made me so excited and happy and made me grin all the way home, with no thought of wanting to be with him or anything like that or expectations of being liked in return. I definitely want that care-free feeling again, when the chemistry (at least as you feel it) is EXCRUCIATING.
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