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[extinct]

Dear lord, Prytania. Out of all those links you just had to pick that one???

[prytania3]

Dear lord, Prytania. Out of all those links you just had to pick that one???

I think it's called divination.

[elsie]

Being single is most difficult during holidays. Especially in a smaller town where everyone else has family. But I will say that after hearing horror stories from colleagues, family, and friends about their Thanksgiving, I'm sincerely *grateful* that I only had to cook a turkey for my two chihuahuas... who really, really enjoyed the white meat. Better to be single than hooked up with someone that makes you miserable--or whose family makes you miserable.

That's why I watch the Dr. Phil show.

[extinct]

Dear lord, Prytania. Out of all those links you just had to pick that one???

I think it's called divination.

Aye. Yes. I am sure then you will find the rant about 'going for coffee' on a first date.

[zoelouise]

I have dated one person from the internet dating sites. Reader, I married him.

As an aside, he is almost a decade younger than me and not an academic.

A friend said her (female) advisor told her that women with PhDs should always marry younger men!

Hang in there, rattus. You are right on in your priorities. And of course you must find a guy who accepts your puppies!

[prytania3]

I have dated one person from the internet dating sites. Reader, I married him.

As an aside, he is almost a decade younger than me and not an academic.

A friend said her (female) advisor told her that women with PhDs should always marry younger men!

Hang in there, rattus. You are right on in your priorities. And of course you must find a guy who accepts your puppies!

Wow! Mind sharing which site you used? And congratulations!

[merce]

Better to be single than hooked up with someone that makes you miserable--or whose family makes you miserable.

Amen!

Where I come from we say "Mejor sola que mal acompanyada!" which expresses this sentiment. It is my mantra.

[prytania3]

Better to be single than hooked up with someone that makes you miserable--or whose family makes you miserable.

Amen!

Where I come from we say "Mejor sola que mal acompanyada!" which expresses this sentiment. It is my mantra.

Hey, I happen to like bad company. Now will you folks please get back to work and start writing ads that I can steal. VP's is under copyright.

[bluelaser]

Better to be single than hooked up with someone that makes you miserable--or whose family makes you miserable.

Great points. When I was married, I hated the holidays. We were required to visit so many boring and obnoxious people and to feed and entertain an even larger number of boring and obnoxious people.

Now, I am 100% in charge of my holidays. So, I have held on to the holiday traditions that meant the most to me and my kids and jettisoned the "dark side of Christmas."

The last several years instead of "serving time" with the in-laws and attending a laundry list of painful but required events, the kids and I have spent the holidays snowboarding or on the beach.

Sure, my tree (if we decide to get one this year) will look more like Charlie Brown's than the perfect greeting card tree that will impress my ex's many holiday visitors...

...but now that I am single, I LOVE the holidays!

[zoelouise]

Way to go, Bluelaser! In the interest of full disclosure, I should say that my internet husband is my best husband, but not my first...though both times I have been pretty lucky in the In-law department.

Pry, I found him on Yahoo. We both suspect that we would not have met a few years later, as we are both cheap-natured and at that time Yahoo personals were free. They cost money now. I don't know how it is now, but at that time there was no "profiling" or "matchmaking" function- one just cruised the ads and responded to those that appealed. I picked his because it was neutral. It seemed like there were two main (scary) categories of ads:
1. I am tired of "playing games'. (he hates me already and we haven't even met)
2. Could you be my Ms. Right? (he loves me already and we haven't even met)
His ad just said that he didn't have a lot of friends in our little town, because the people he knew all moved away!

I expect it's more sophisticated now. I never wrote an ad, but I guess I would do what he did- describe my situation instead of myself. After all, I'm indescribable!

[phdiva628]

If you have the patience, I have been secretly reading the Best of Craig's List rants, amongst other topics, there are lots of hilarious, b*tchy and brilliant personals, as well as tirades against what not to say in a personal from both male/female perspectives. Some of this is very naughty, un-pc and occasionally youthfully irritating, but I spent yesterday allowing myself to read one post after grading two papers.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/index100.html

I absolutely LOVE craigslist, free comedy 24 hours a day. Incidentally, my long detailed intelligent ads were largely ignored, I wrote a one-liner about dancing provocatively and got a score of responses - several were from academics. Alas, no love found there. My ad:

Action-movie-loving nerd seeks teammate/sparring partner. You must be comfortable both on the back of a sportbike and in a variety of museums. Loves: DANCING, books, Scrabble, comedies/satires, bikes, cars, waterfights, Audrey Hepburn, football, boxing, HGTV, cooking, and an impromptu game of tag. Hates: rudeness, intolerance, sensitivity in extremis, littering, people who do not "know when to say when." Catch me if you can...

[prytania3]

Actually, I might just have a date from a Yahoo ad. The only thing that bothers me is that the guy is gorgeous. I hate it when men are prettier than I am. He's also in financials (trader/broker type), so how perfect is that? Too perfect. No good can come of it.

[spork]

Pry, we all know you're way prettier than some ugly male broker.

Interesting online dating event for me today -- had been in email contact with a woman who claims to have been working in Europe and was supposed to return to the USA a few days ago.  Hadn't heard a word from her recently.  Today I got an email from her account, author claiming to be her mother, saying that daughter had been in a major car crash on the way to the airport and was now recuperating in a hospital with a broken arm.  Mother said that daughter wanted me to know why daughter hadn't contacted me recently.

[prytania3]

Pry, we all know you're way prettier than some ugly male broker.

Interesting online dating event for me today -- had been in email contact with a woman who claims to have been working in Europe and was supposed to return to the USA a few days ago.  Hadn't heard a word from her recently.  Today I got an email from her account, author claiming to be her mother, saying that daughter had been in a major car crash on the way to the airport and was now recuperating in a hospital with a broken arm.  Mother said that daughter wanted me to know why daughter hadn't contacted me recently.

Oh Spork, that's dreadful. I am so sorry. But it sounds like she will recuperate and you will hear from her.

[prof_mom]

Pry, we all know you're way prettier than some ugly male broker.

Interesting online dating event for me today -- had been in email contact with a woman who claims to have been working in Europe and was supposed to return to the USA a few days ago.  Hadn't heard a word from her recently.  Today I got an email from her account, author claiming to be her mother, saying that daughter had been in a major car crash on the way to the airport and was now recuperating in a hospital with a broken arm.  Mother said that daughter wanted me to know why daughter hadn't contacted me recently.

That is really strange. Did the mother indicate that the daughter wanted you to visit? Spork, how do you pick these women? Most women I know sit by the phone and wait for the guy to call! (OK, I guess they don't do that anymore because they have cell phones and they can go anywhere to wait for the call, but you get my point).

Yes, families can certainly ruin a perfectly good holiday--particularly In-Laws for some reason. I have one of the evil Mother in laws who makes holidays and visits just miserable. She didn't think my husband should marry me and hasn't let us forget it. Also, she is obnoxious and mean and is very critical of the kids. I don't think she can say a nice thing about anyone.

So, my husband and I were talking about how to deal with the latest episode. I tell him that there was a time just before our wedding that I really thought hard about whether I wanted to spend my life fighting with his mother. I asked him if he ever thought about not marrying me because of it. He stopped, looked at me and said "not even once, not for an instant." So, I will get on the plane and take my kids there. I will smile and I will be as nice as I can. It is miserable, but I spend a few weeks a year with her and get husband every day.

I guess that doesn't help the lonely hearts club group, but we all have issues.

I think my ad would include a note that I would be looking for a man without a controlling mother. Should one mention the mother in those ads? Probably not.