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dagny
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« on: October 25, 2006, 02:29:29 PM » |
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First, I appreciate all of the advice and perspectives that members of these boards offered earlier this week. I felt good about handling this situation going in, knowing that others have survived these things!
I met with my disruptive student today, and it was very unpleasant. To make a long story short, she acknowledged that her behavior was inappropriate and that I was acting reasonably to expect her to change it, but seemed to think that she is being "singled out" somehow. That angered her. Now, she's wrong about that--I have discussed side talking and chattiness with other students in that class--and I told her that. It didn't seem to sink in, and I'm not sure why. That was weird. She truly seems to feel that *I'm* the one in the wrong here, that my rudeness in "singling her out" far outweighs her constant disruption and disrespect for her classmates.
She did understand that any further disruption (or inappropriate e-mails to me) will result in her being dropped from the class.
I lost my cool a little more than I would have liked; she oozed attitude and was very combative, and I did not remain as relaxed as I wanted to. But I kept the meeting short, and I kept the conversation on track despite her constant efforts to derail it to the "you're singling me out" business. (Any insight on that would be much appreciated, by the way.)
She was quiet during class today, so I'm optimistic that things are going in the right direction.
Thanks again to you all.
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slac_vap
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« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2006, 03:37:03 PM » |
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Thanks for the update, Dagny!
Congratulations on surviving the meeting! It sounds like you said what you needed to say without getting drawn into a debate with the student. That's the truly vital part of all this. Now document your interaction with this student including date, time, purpose of meeting, and an outline of what you and she said. Then be done with this! Cross your fingers and hope she isn't disruptive again, finishes the semester, gets the grade she deserves, and disappears into the blue. Alternately, if she does choose to disrupt class again, kick her out guilt-free.
As for her complaining that you are "rude" to call her out on her behavior... Oh, well! You could certainly try to make her realize that it is part of your duty to maintain order in the classroom in order to make the learning environment pleasant for her classmates. But she won't get it (or won't care). She is on the defensive here, and calling you rude is an immature response to being reprimanded. It's not really reasonable or logical, so trying to appeal to her on those grounds would be good time wasted.
Good luck, and let us know if her improved behavior lasts the semester!
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"...the world between reality and fantasy improv nonsense is blurred in Columbus." -David Gaus
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spork
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« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2006, 03:55:34 PM » |
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My diagnosis: narcissistic personality disorder.
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a.k.a. gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket
"Please do not force people who are exhausted to take medication for hallucinations." -- Memo from the Chair, Department of White Privilege Studies, Fiork University
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smart_e_pantz
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« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2006, 04:48:28 PM » |
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My diagnosis: narcissistic personality disorder.
My diagnosis: "My parents and teachers have always treated me as if the sun shines out of my ass" disorder! |
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"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer. " Barack Obama (November 4, 2008)
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fishbrains
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« Reply #4 on: October 25, 2006, 05:32:24 PM » |
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Sounds like you took the right path. I would document the conversation at any rate. She might single you out. :)
I've had a student or two do the "you're singling me out" crap.
The first time I got this I wasn't sure how to respond. Now I just point out that it's their poor choice in behavior that singles them out in the class, not my observation of, and reactions to, the behavior.
I would like to tell them to quit putting me in the position of having to point out that their parents must have kept them chained to log in the backyard during their formative years, and that this inappropriate form of socialization may be why the student shows a demonstrable ignorance concerning basic etiquette rules the rest of us learned in preschool. But this probably isn't a constructive approach.
Generally, though, they can't get over the fact that someone actually said "no" to their stupid behavior.
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"My face is going green behind the mask . . ." ~ Peter Shaffer's Equus
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dagny
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« Reply #5 on: October 25, 2006, 05:41:18 PM » |
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Thanks for the support!
Fishbrains, I wish I'd have thought of putting it that way: That her behavior is what singles her out, and not my bias against her. She seemed to think I have it in for her. Hmm, filing that particular argument away for future reference.
And yes, I will document.
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