Oh dear. While people certainly are entitled to feel as they wish about events, I guess I'll have to very, very respectfully disagree that victims get to decide how bad the crime is.
I think we agree on this point, but I wasn't clear. I didn't mean that victims get to decide how bad it is in a general sense. I just mean that no two crimes are the same and no two victims will have the same reaction. Some people just shrug it off and move on and others will morn, get depressed, and it will take them a long time to move on. Some may never really move on. Other than those who never move on, I don't know which is healthier, but it is probably best to be somewhere in the middle. I only know that we have to respect each individual's right to feel what they are feeling.