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amyamy
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« on: October 19, 2006, 10:39:04 AM » |
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Have you ever received gifts from students?
Once a professor from another university told me that she received a lot of gifts from students from a different culture (her program had a huge foreign intake) and though she knew that it's against the rules, she knew that it's all too common in that particular culture.
Today, I got a box of lip balm from a female student .... so sweet. slightly embarrassing, though (and fortunately she only gave me after all students had left the classroom). She said she noticed that my lips were dry the first time she saw me -- and they still are-- probably because I spent so many hours in a room with air-con ....
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dogstar
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« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2006, 11:39:21 AM » |
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I need some new lip balm! Send that student to my class....
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prytania3
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« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2006, 11:43:43 AM » |
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Is it flavored?
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Clowns, I tell you. Clowns.
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zharkov
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« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2006, 12:15:35 PM » |
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Is it flavored?
Catfish? Mmmmmm..... Seriously, I think it is OK to accept a token gift of low value. To not accept it could be insulting. But I've only had a few students ever give me anything, they were all international, and they've been A -ish students. |
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__________ Zharkov's Razor: Adapting Zharkov a bit to this situation, ignorance and confusion can explain a lot.
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voxprincipalis
Foxaliciously Cinnamon-Scented (and Most Poetic)
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 17,442
Has potentially infinite removable wallets
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« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2006, 12:19:49 PM » |
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Is it flavored?
Catfish? Mmmmmm..... And now we know what kind of flavored lip gloss to get for our mackerel. Interthreaduality rocks!! VP |
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If you need me, I'll be hiding under a rock until mid-August. Try not to need me, unless you come bearing Chinese food.
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crazybatlady
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« Reply #5 on: October 19, 2006, 12:35:35 PM » |
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ROFLMAO!
I'm so grossed out. Yuck!
I'll stick with plain-old... (shoot! What is this stuff?!? The label's worn off...) white-tubed chapstick.
Not the yellow kind.
That kind smells funny.
Tree.
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As always, CBL rules! All hail the CBL!
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dr_evil
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« Reply #6 on: October 19, 2006, 04:02:28 PM » |
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I have received gifts from students. Usually it's just something small (i.e. coffee mug), so I believe that is ok. The only gift I rejected was a gift card, because I thought that was too much like being given money. The student took it back, but still felt he needed to give me something, so I got chocolate. Mmmmm...chocolate!
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Drinking a lot always helps.
Wheeeeee! You go, oh evilicious one.
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avaya
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« Reply #7 on: October 19, 2006, 04:18:14 PM » |
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I have gotten gifts and I used to work in an environment where you had to be very careful about gifts (a non-academic job). So I asked my chair and he said if it was low value, no big deal. My gifts have fallen into two categories: students who study abroad and bring me back a tourist trinket from their travels, and international students who bring me something from their country.
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Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. -- Albert Einstein
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acrimone
The Red Queen's Court Assassin
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 4,049
I am not a professor at all, despite what I say.
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« Reply #8 on: October 19, 2006, 04:54:31 PM » |
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It always happens (to me anyway) that you have one or two (sometimes more) students a year that you really connect with, and with whom you develop strong personal ties. I have received Christmas gifts/end of the year from these students often. Nothing worth more than $45 or so, it's just their way of saying thank you for taking an interest in their lives and being someone they could talk to.
I know it probably doesn't come across well on the forums, but while I'm officially a hard ass, I really take great efforts to be a positive influence in my students' lives, to find out who they are and what they want out of life, to help them discover that, and I'm always willing to go to the mat for a deserving student.
Some of them curse my name, others come over for dinner. It's the nature of the beast, and gifts are part of all human interactions.
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"All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"
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supernumerary
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« Reply #9 on: October 19, 2006, 06:18:11 PM » |
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I know it probably doesn't come across well on the forums, but while I'm officially a hard ass, I really take great efforts to be a positive influence in my students' lives, to find out who they are and what they want out of life, to help them discover that, and I'm always willing to go to the mat for a deserving student.
Yes, it does come across. That's why many forumites value your posts. We see through your hard ass demeanor. Just saying. |
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adjunk
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« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2006, 08:55:38 PM » |
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The strangest gift I ever got was a painting of myself, shirtless, from a student who had a major crush on me. As if that wasn't weird enough, I brought it home, and was stunned when I turned out the lights for bed and noticed it was painted with glow-in-the-dark paint!
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amyamy
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« Reply #11 on: October 19, 2006, 09:35:09 PM » |
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So happy to receive so many replies from you all and they are so interesting to read.
Indeed this is the first time I have taught small classes (of 20+ people). I was a VAP at another school, and taught huge classes of 200(+) people and even though the evaluations were good and I did not relate to those students on the same level as I do now. I got candies from another friendly student, who also sent me her own poems for my interest (though I do not teach poetry).
The lip balm -- it is honey-flavored and it seems to work much better than the one I used.
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arugula
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« Reply #12 on: October 19, 2006, 09:51:49 PM » |
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I think it's appropriate to accept a gift from a student after writing a letter of recommendation for them. Or at least I hope it is; I've received a few! I've never gotten anything very valuable, and my favorites are hand-written notes anyway. But chocolates or books have been welcome too.
I wonder if this is a local culture issue. Don't students often give a small gift or card after someone writes them recommendations?
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amyamy
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« Reply #13 on: October 19, 2006, 09:58:41 PM » |
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I did write a reference letter for a student in the past; he did not give me any real gift in return, but always jotted emails after I stopped teaching him (say, suggesting websites that might make my teaching more informative, asking if I would like a copy of a music video ....)
I think it's a cultural thing. I've known some very good/ popular teachers who never recieve anything besides christmas cards.
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arugula
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« Reply #14 on: October 19, 2006, 10:02:23 PM » |
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I forgot to add: I think it's kind of sweet and charming that your student was thoughtful - and I think it's a small, kind gesture that you can just enjoy.
Was it the Burt's Bees yellow label lip balm? That's especially nice.
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