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[ptprof]

New student email complaint;

Hey firstname, the (your) class conflicts with class I need, can we manage?  Student name.

I get this a lot. It is fascinating that these students actually think that: (1) they can pass my course when they'll be missing an entire semester of classes; and/or (2) I'd actually give them private tutorial sessions outside of the class time.

After speaking with the student (who called me in the office after not receiving an immediate response to her email), she wants to see if we can change the day and/or time the class is being offered so it fits her schedule.  Because, of course, deciding when classes are offered is determined by blindly throwing darts against the wall.....

[yemaya]

Holy entitlement batman!!!  Even if it were possible to work around the Registrar, room scheduling and the like, I can't believe that it doesn't occur to this student that other students (who have not doubt registered) have signed up because the class fits THEIR schedule?  I'd email her back and say something along that lines, then pointedly sign it Professor PTProf.  Isn't it great to have an out that's not in your control to keep such a spoiled brat out of your course?

[mtnlover]

Here's one from this week.  Student has an appointment with me at 2:00 Monday.  They don't show up.  I email them and get a reply saying they will be there Tuesday at 10:00.  They pop in Tuesday mid-aftrernoon and are clueless as to why I am not there.  I email them and ask them to come in today at 1:00; they confirm via email.  At 9:00 they come in and confused as to why I am not there.  They are supposed to bring 4 things, of the 2 they bring 1 is wrong.  I lay down the law in an email.  They call in tears.  The Mom calls.   Did I mention this is a PhD candidate?  Time for a new advisor!

[bibliothecula]

That was a PhD candidate? And the MOM called?? Yowza. Something tells me I'd want to ditch this student ASAP....

[dr_evil]

Holy entitlement batman!!!

ROFL!  That's got to be the funniest thing I've read all day!

Related to entitled students, I have had a student who was signed up for one section of my course, but tried to show up to the later section (Hu didn't want to mis hu's beauty sleep, I guess.).  Perhaps this individual should have signed up for the proper section before it filled.

[case_insensitive]

The Mom calls.   Did I mention this is a PhD candidate? 

That right there takes the proverbial cake...  Sheesh!

[au_fait]

My absolute favorite was this:

THIS IS LUDICROUS !!! !!!

On your last exam I got a 62/67, wich is a 94%.  That is an A by any standard But you gave me an A-!!  That meant that my overall course grade was a B+ instead of the A- that I deserved. This has ruined my grade point average and possibly even my med school apps! 

I DEMAND A REGRADE!
I DEMAND A REGRADE!
I DEMAND A REGRADE!

--

I'm prone to math flubs, so I was actually a bit worried.  It's obnoxious to get an email like this, but even more obnoxious if it's actually correct.

So I got out my calculator.  Turns out that 62/67 isn't 94%.  It's 92.5%.

That's an A- by most standards, including our department's.

I didn't reply, but I did giggle all the way home.

In my undergraduate days, I took a few courses where a 97% was an A, a 96.9999% was an A-, and a 92% was a B+.

Of course, your student's real issue isn't about grades, but sounds like it's about either entitlement or appropriate ways to address a superior, or perhaps, both.

[au_fait]

Here's one from this week.  Student has an appointment with me at 2:00 Monday.  They don't show up.  I email them and get a reply saying they will be there Tuesday at 10:00.  They pop in Tuesday mid-aftrernoon and are clueless as to why I am not there.  I email them and ask them to come in today at 1:00; they confirm via email.  At 9:00 they come in and confused as to why I am not there.  They are supposed to bring 4 things, of the 2 they bring 1 is wrong.  I lay down the law in an email.  They call in tears.  The Mom calls.   Did I mention this is a PhD candidate?  Time for a new advisor!

Wow, I'm speechless. Not only should this student not waste your time, s/he shouldn't be in an advanced program until s/he grows up!

[histgradstudent]

I'll post this whole exchange because its really priceless
Student who is about to fail the class as a result of not turning in assignments because of various excuses for which generous extensions were given
Hey,
    [my name] (I'm a TA so this is fine standard practice in my department) is there any way I can schedule a meeting with you, sometime before break it is really important. I know this is short notice but I really need to talk to you.

My Email, I don't actually have anything to say to this student. Nothing I can do anymore, I turned in my grades this morning, but fine.
xxxxx, I can meet today anytime from noon to 3. I'm actually
leaving town tomorrow. If that doesn't work for you, we could discuss
the problem through email.
-xxxxx

Student:
Hey,

  Thats fine.
Thanks

Me, wondering why student seems to think I mean that I have nothing better to do between 12 and 3 than wait for her.
xxxxx, what time would you prefer?

Student
hey,

    3:00pm would be perfect

Me
Allright, see you then.

So, I show up. 3 passes. Student not there. This student already failed to come to a meeting once, so I'm not particularly inclined to hang around this time. I wait for ten minutes, then leave.

Student at 3:20
Hey xxxx,

 I'm here are you here? Did you leave already?

Really unbelievable

[case_insensitive]

Typical. Got this today. I have never met this student before...  Class began yesterday.


Dear Mrs. Insensitive,  [Mrs. Insensitive, by the way, is my mother...]

how are you? I hope everything is going great with you and hope you had a nice chrismas and new year's break. I just wanted to appologise first of all and inform you that I am in scotland now and couldnt find a reservation and the only  one I could get a hold of is on the 14th of the current month. So, I will  hopefully be back on the 15th to school. Thank you so much for your time and  please accept my warm appology for not informing you earlier.
                                                       
best wishes
Sincerely
Abdullah Abdullah



[Mrs. Insensitive, by the way, is my mother...]

[histgeek]

Exam question:
From the [text], discuss what a "conventionalist" is.

Student e-mail on exam question:
what is a conventionalist? someone who follows convention?

Favorite student username:
snotropedebbie

Psycho-student e-mail:
Dear Mrs. Histgeek
 
I just wanted to say thanks for being so hard nosed with me when it came to quality and content of the research papers.  Your intolerance for sloppiness and rare 'you get what you earn' policy was refreshing.  Well, to be fair, it wasn't refreshing at the time - you really pissed me off! - but in retrospect it was a dose of what I needed.  So thanks, jerk. 
 
Despite what it may have seemed like, those considerable hours in the library paid off in that I got used to them.  In fact, I got so used to it that I developed an almost intolerable LIKING for reading, thinking, and researching.  While it may not have been entirely your influence that got me rolling on that, it did place considerable pressure on this (points to head) part of my brain - responsible for conducting internal consistency checks on external information - aka BS detector.
 
Anyhow, in return for your not inconsiderable efforts at getting that whole thing going I'd like to share with you a tidbit of information that will play an equally not inconsiderable role in the world of tomorrow- Consider this:  the US net indebtedness to the rest of the world stands at 3 trillion dollars - or 30% of GDP.  One of two things will happen as a result of this.  Either the US dollar will fall substantially against the currencies of all it's major trading partners (which will precipitate a crash in real terms in the stock and bond markets) - or - if present trends are not reversed - the USA will become incapable of paying the interest on the debt it already has - ...bankrupt.
 
The implications of this are quite astounding.  Of all people, I am sure you will look further into this.  Naturally, you may wish to seek advice from friends, co-workers, or relatives.  I encourage you to remember your own maxim: read and think for yourself.
 
Thanks again,
Psycho Student
 
PS  I'm not at Backwater College anymore but I will be continuing my official studies at a university in Montreal. Here's me: "BRRR! It's FREEZING! I'm going to the lib where it's warm.  Toots!"   
 
PPS If you are NOT interested in doing any further historical and conceptual looking into this then may I recomend the following sources for your economic information:  99.9 % of mainstream financial news outlets.
 
PPPS You are going to receive this letter and undoubtedly say, "Where did that come from?'  It's embarrassing, really.

Favorite student letter [written by a sophomore during a quiz I gave after I learned half the class had not purchased or read the assigned book]:

I understand why you are doing this it is to prove no your point that in order to have an intellectual class discussion the text must be read.  I agree with you that the text helps, but barring the fact that the text is the only expression of the ideas to be discussed this is not necissery.  This is even state as such in the reviews that Lizzy used in her presentation last class.  Which described this book as well written, but sharing no new ideas or making any ground breaking discoveries.

This being said it is possible to converse educatedly about a given topic without reading one specific text.

To the argument that it is required for the course, it is true, it is.  But these books are only a begining a way to start discuss the topic.  What we have discussed in this class up until this point, although interesting, has not been overwhelmingly new.  There are certain texts and quotes that I have not been introduced to before this class; but overwhelmingly, through other course discussions and my own reading I have been able to talk and discuss educatedly about most every topic this course has covered. 

I understand exactly why it is that you are giving this quiz, and even predicted something of the sort when I left last class.  However this does not and can not change the fact that, this is indeed my education and I may go about it as best I see fit.  Similarly I find it disconcerning that you would do what you have just done, by giving this pop quiz.  I do not condone the use of pop-quizes/reading quizes, however in this instance I do.  In this instance, you decided to do this last class after we discussed why a majority of the class did not have the text [note:  they had simply neglected to by it].

That is unexculpable, because in point of fact you knew that it would be impossible for the entire class to bring a copy of the text to class today.  To that end it is also possible for students to share the text outside of class, however there is no way this can be reflected in your quiz.

As an prof instructor it is more than apparent that you have a great command of the subject matter, however in this instance it is my firm opinion that you have betrayed the trust that the class has given you.  I also feel personally attacked by this.

I understand it is your opinion that if you don't read you should not come, and if so I will gladly leave.  But I would like to stay and prove to you that this is not the case.

Take this as you may, I will be more than happy to discuss this further at your disgression.

PS  Although it is not your concern, Personally I have many other issues and problems that out weigh the reading for today.  If my friends need me I will drop everything to help them.  Including school or any other work.

Said student failed the course for not having turned in any work for the entire semester.  My favorite part is that what I did was "unexculpable."

[slac_vap]

Oh, histgeek, the quiz note is a gold mine for anyone wanting to contribute to the made-up words thread!

My personal favorite is "disgression."

[case_insensitive]

hist geek

go here:
http://chronicle.com/forums/index.php/topic,32614.0.html

[grasshopper]

Was it Snot-Rope Debbie? Was it?

[helpful]

Holy entitlement batman!!!

ROFL!  That's got to be the funniest thing I've read all day!

Related to entitled students, I have had a student who was signed up for one section of my course, but tried to show up to the later section (Hu didn't want to mis hu's beauty sleep, I guess.).  Perhaps this individual should have signed up for the proper section before it filled.

I was speaking in a class a colleague teaches. There in front of me was a student who had taking that class from me!! I asked him why he was there, he said no ne told him that, even though the title of the class was the same, but the class number was different, that it was the same class!

This was in Mid November, 2 and half months into the term!

Last I heard he was going to stay in that class, get the mark, but it won't count...