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[groovymutation]

"Dear Dr. Groovy,

I know this is a long shot, but I happened to get offered a ticket for the game tonight..... The big game that starts at 7. Aka the same time as lecture... If I went, would there be any way I would be able to make up missing class today?

Thanks,
Snowflake"

[proftowanda]

Although we're in week two, it's still open enrollment for courses.  If there is an open seat - and I have two - students can sign up online without my permission.  So I received this today:

Professor,

I have moved a few things around in my schedule and have room for another class, so I was hoping that it would be possible to get the required override in able to join your class. I would be happy to answer any questions you have about myself.

Stu Dent

Aside from her hoping, I don't see where there is a question for me to answer.  I certainly don't have any questions about her...

*sigh*

But this is such a wonderful invitation to ask all sorts of questions!

Did you buy the book yet?

Did you look at -- and actually read -- the syllabus?

Do you intend to do the work or to whine?

How many of your grandmothers still are living, and how is their health?

The possibilities are endless.  Hmmm, in addition to my syllabus quiz, perhaps I need to inflict another quiz, a "Getting to Know All About You" quiz.

[polly_mer]

Oh, Proftowanda, you make me laugh.

In case anyone is wondering, my email box is no longer empty (first classes were yesterday).  Le sigh.

[proftowanda]

Oh, Proftowanda, you make me laugh.

In case anyone is wondering, my email box is no longer empty (first classes were yesterday).  Le sigh.

Good!  Then I've begun to return the favor, with many laughs provoked by your posts.

And I'm especially glad to hear that the laugh came on a day when laughs are needed, any day in the first week.

Of course, while we chatter here, your email box is filling up with more fun to share with us. . . .

[polly_mer]

Of course, while we chatter here, your email box is filling up with more fun to share with us. . . .

Unfortunately, nothing in that box is worth sharing.  I have the typical first week stuff of

-Do I need the book?  (Yes).
-But I can't afford the book until my check comes in.  (Make friends or come visit mine during student hours).
-I left early so I don't know where the reading assignment is.  Is it in the book?  (Yes, as I explained at the beginning of class as I held up my book turned to the right page).
-I didn't go the first day.  Did I miss anything? (Only twenty freebie points and the clear explanation of the unusual grading and format of the class. You can pick up the twelve handouts after class on Friday, but I bet folding money you will be gone before the third week of classes).

[fosca]

An e-mail from my eight-year-old nephew on vacation:

Hi this is Sammy!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! We are in Maui right now. Yesterday we went on a boat ride  and i hated it at one  point because we went on ruff waters and i got soaking and sea sick! Dering the splashing a lady had a panic atack! At the end we went scoob a diving and we saw a sunkin ship and a subareen!!! We also went whale watching but we mosly saw their tales.

This is awesome.

I've always wanted to go scoob a diving.  Love this kid!

I. Love. This.

I have bolded my favorite phrases.

I'll have to tell my sister that her son's e-mail is now the hit of a discussion forum on the Chronicle of Higher Education website.  I suspect she'll be impressed.  Then again, since she's a high school math teacher, she may be joining us soon!

And yeah, Sammy's pretty cool.  So's Joey, his older brother who doesn't write e-mails because he's just entering adolescence and is way too cool for those sorts of things.

[geonerd]

How many of your grandmothers still are living, and how is their health?

Stolen!

[burnie]

Although we're in week two, it's still open enrollment for courses.  If there is an open seat - and I have two - students can sign up online without my permission.  So I received this today:

Professor,

I have moved a few things around in my schedule and have room for another class, so I was hoping that it would be possible to get the required override in able to join your class. I would be happy to answer any questions you have about myself.

Stu Dent

Aside from her hoping, I don't see where there is a question for me to answer.  I certainly don't have any questions about her...

*sigh*

But this is such a wonderful invitation to ask all sorts of questions!

Did you buy the book yet?

Did you look at -- and actually read -- the syllabus?

Do you intend to do the work or to whine?

How many of your grandmothers still are living, and how is their health?

The possibilities are endless.  Hmmm, in addition to my syllabus quiz, perhaps I need to inflict another quiz, a "Getting to Know All About You" quiz.

Now I really regret replying to the email before the fora responded.  But I'm saving this for the next one...suddenly I hope there IS a next one!

[proftowanda]

How many of your grandmothers still are living, and how is their health?

Stolen!

Shared, happily.

Of course, as discussed here, students seem to be figuring out that we're savvy to that excuse.

So I'm trying to frame a question on the commonly substituted term of late.  Something like:

What constitutes a "family emergency" in your family, and when are they likely to occur?

This would not be open-ended; it would be a multiple-choice question.   I'm taking suggestions for choices.

[marigolds]

How many of your grandmothers still are living, and how is their health?

Stolen!

Shared, happily.

Of course, as discussed here, students seem to be figuring out that we're savvy to that excuse.

So I'm trying to frame a question on the commonly substituted term of late.  Something like:

What constitutes a "family emergency" in your family, and when are they likely to occur?

This would not be open-ended; it would be a multiple-choice question.   I'm taking suggestions for choices.

A) family ski trip
B) wedding which you are not in and which has been scheduled for more than 6 months
C) friend or roommate's pet dying

[gennimom]

That's the one.  Poems don't have to rhyme.  My version goes:
There is a game and you must play (0th law of thermodynamics about temperature).
You can't win (1st law-conservation of energy).
You can't break even (2nd law-entropy increases and some energy is in unavailable forms).
You can't quit (3rd law-everything has entropy even if you try to avoid generating much).

There's a game that you must play
But this can't be your winning day
And you can't break even and you can't walk away

Wanna know something that's got me beat?
Polly doesn't permit the concept of "heat"
So let's just talk about systems and leaks

Heh heh!

[proftowanda]

How many of your grandmothers still are living, and how is their health?

Stolen!

Shared, happily.

Of course, as discussed here, students seem to be figuring out that we're savvy to that excuse.

So I'm trying to frame a question on the commonly substituted term of late.  Something like:

What constitutes a "family emergency" in your family, and when are they likely to occur?

This would not be open-ended; it would be a multiple-choice question.   I'm taking suggestions for choices.

A) family ski trip
B) wedding which you are not in and which has been scheduled for more than 6 months
C) friend or roommate's pet dying

Oh, yes; these bring back memories.

B) would required sub-answers, such as the one that I got last year:

B).1.  destination wedding of your parents, which you are not in, and which has been scheduled for more than 6 months, and which is scheduled to conflict with the midterm exam, but which requires that you house-sit for your parents, which means that you must miss not only the midterm but an entire week of class, even though their house is on a bus line to campus, and the bus ride would be less than half an hour.

You will be delighted to know that the destination for the wedding was, of course, the Elvis chapel in Vegas.

You also will be delighted to know that, when confronted with the home address (in the campus directory) and the bus schedule (linked from the campus website), the student withdrew the request, if with a quite surly email.

You will be delighted yet again to know that, when the student missed the week of class, anyway, she returned to explain that she had to forgo housesitting to go to Vegas, after all, because she had to visit her parents and their friends who got in a brawl, and she had to help them get out of the hospital and to court.

She provided pictures, on her cellphone, of beat-up people.

Did I accept the excuse and the evidence?  Of course not, as I simply pointed her to the statement on the syllabus about requesting excused absences in advance, with no excuses accepted retroactively, except in the event of cataclysmic disaster of epic proportions.

And then I hurried down the hall to get to my office to bust out laughing.

[zuzu_]

An e-mail from my eight-year-old nephew on vacation:

Hi this is Sammy!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! We are in Maui right now. Yesterday we went on a boat ride  and i hated it at one  point because we went on ruff waters and i got soaking and sea sick! Dering the splashing a lady had a panic atack! At the end we went scoob a diving and we saw a sunkin ship and a subareen!!! We also went whale watching but we mosly saw their tales.

This is awesome.

I've always wanted to go scoob a diving.  Love this kid!

I. Love. This.

I have bolded my favorite phrases.

I'll have to tell my sister that her son's e-mail is now the hit of a discussion forum on the Chronicle of Higher Education website.  I suspect she'll be impressed.  Then again, since she's a high school math teacher, she may be joining us soon!

And yeah, Sammy's pretty cool.  So's Joey, his older brother who doesn't write e-mails because he's just entering adolescence and is way too cool for those sorts of things.

I think I found this particularly endearing, since I am the parent of 8-year-old who is a prolific writer of similar narratives. Some of the more recent narratives involved my mother's car "axetant" and our visit to the "holltell" pool.

[llanfair]

Although we're in week two, it's still open enrollment for courses.  If there is an open seat - and I have two - students can sign up online without my permission.  So I received this today:

Professor,

I have moved a few things around in my schedule and have room for another class, so I was hoping that it would be possible to get the required override in able to join your class. I would be happy to answer any questions you have about myself.

Stu Dent

Aside from her hoping, I don't see where there is a question for me to answer.  I certainly don't have any questions about her...

*sigh*

But this is such a wonderful invitation to ask all sorts of questions!

Did you buy the book yet?

Did you look at -- and actually read -- the syllabus?

Do you intend to do the work or to whine?

How many of your grandmothers still are living, and how is their health?

The possibilities are endless.  Hmmm, in addition to my syllabus quiz, perhaps I need to inflict another quiz, a "Getting to Know All About You" quiz.

Now I really regret replying to the email before the fora responded.  But I'm saving this for the next one...suddenly I hope there IS a next one!

Oh, Burnie, be careful what you wish for ...

[nocurving]

Dear Dr. Nocurving
Are the practice sets online graded. I read the syllabus and it said that it was not, but many students have told me that they were. I'm only asking to better understand how i should treat these sets, regardless of the answer i will be doing them every week.

Sadly, despite the fact that it's clearly stated in the syllabus that the online practice sets will not be graded, I got several emails asking for extensions, apologizing for not doing the practice sets, etc.  What I can't understand is how the kid above appears to have understood what's on the syllabus yet began to doubt himself bec of what other students are saying.