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[midwestgrad]

I think more snark is clearly called for in this situation.

[see_wolf]

I think more snark is clearly called for in this situation.

I agree... definitely more snark.

[mended_drum]

Appropriate response:  "Only if you have a time machine.  If you do have such a device, I will be happy to grant you an override into the course I taught last year.  Unfortunately, my records indicate that you failed that course, so I might reconsider if I were you."

[alleyoxenfree]

She will definitely grade appeal this.

[profxfiles]

"Oh, well can I get in to your Basketweaving 105 class?"

So should I just send the same thing I sent last time?  Or does it need more snark?

How about: "I have spent several hours meditating on your aura, and I simply do not feel you are currently on the right plane of consciousness to benefit fully from taking my course in the Spring. I suggest you spend the next several months in a state of constant self-reflection to better yourself so that you are better prepared next time."

[see_wolf]

"Oh, well can I get in to your Basketweaving 105 class?"

So should I just send the same thing I sent last time?  Or does it need more snark?

How about: "I have spent several hours meditating on your aura, and I simply do not feel you are currently on the right plane of consciousness to benefit fully from taking my course in the Spring. I suggest you spend the next several months in a state of constant self-reflection to better yourself so that you are better prepared next time."

Dear Professor Peppergal,

Can I get credit for that?

SWCRTS

[crowie]

Anyone have a silly animal picture?  We need to get this into icanhascheezburger.

lolprofs!

Chaucer's blog is awesome, even if Phillipa is addicted to Vespers, a new work about sparkylng vampyres.

Someone beat us to it.

Excellent! My favorite so far was the Noam Chomsky "Noam Noam Noam" one.

I followed a link, and found Chaucer's blog.  I am greatly impressed, even though I can hardly read it.  I never learned (like most of my classmates) how to decipher the prolog of the Canterbury Tales.

I hope others here will be pleased and impressed.

My God, people!  Did you read the one about the MLA? 

"And right so it befel in dede that a volvo did pulle up and a voys from it seyd, “You going to Philadelphia?” And thys creatur seyd, “I go to MLA,” and the voys seyde that MLA was part of Philadelphee and thus sche cam with hem. And in the volvo was a cumpany of thre yonge scolers, to wit I woman and II men. And thys creatur spak to them and seyd, “Tell me what maner ffolk ye aren.” And oon the men seyd, “My dissertation addresses the pressing question of the relation of the Owl and the Nightingale to the paradoxes of materiality and to changing ideas of spirituality at the same time that it questions what I would call outmoded models of allegoresis. Essentially, I propose that this heavily mediated text engages with debate poetry not as a generic exemplar but rather vis-a-vis an interstitial combination of truth claims and bestiary passages about cephalopods.” And thys creatur was soore confusid, and sche prayid to ower lord and wepid gret teares for the passioun of the child Jesu who had been born in a maunger to taak awey the synnes of all ffolke and also to deliver her from MLA."

That's great!  :-) I'm liking that blog.  Thanks, conjugate.

Margerye Kempe at the Feest of MLA made me weep with laughter.  Another good one is titled "I wolde I knewe how of thee I might be Quitten!"

[word_nerd]

So a homework assignment was due at the beginning of class yesterday, and I had this gem in my box at 11:22 pm. last night:

     I've attached my homework. Thank you :)  Sorry about the quality,
     I hope it's okay! I don't have a scanner :(

     Bright but Flaky Student

Attached were dark and blurry (but legible) pictures of the homework pages that had obviously been taken on a camera phone.  There are multiple computer labs on campus with scanners.  I'm sure this madness is going to print out well for marking... sigh.

[alleyoxenfree]

On Thursday, "I need to start narrowing down my topic."  Student then suggests sweepingly vague topic remarkably similar to sample paper handed out.  Paper is due next Monday.

On a Friday, different student, "What paper is it again that is due on Monday?"

[karmie]

Background: Research papers are due next week.

"I LET MY FAMILY READ IT THEY SAY ITS LIKE SUPER BORING I THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD SO I GUESS I NEED HELP ON IT CAN YU PLEASE LOOK AT IT FOR ME."

OMG I NEED TO READ IT RIGHT NOW!



On a side note, I wish more students cared about whether or not they were boring me to death with their essays.

[concordancia]

From one of my students who takes the test in the testing center. She called me as I was finishing grading the day I handed them back that she was going to miss class, so I scanned the test pages and emailed it to her.

on the  back of my test i had scribbled notes on every thing we had gone over, could you check it, it would be good for me to know how far off the mark i am in general.

Isn't that the whole point of the test in the first place? If you failed it, you are more than 40% off the mark!

[llanfair]

Term-paper proposals due in 4 days, and I've told them I want at least a mention of the secondary sources they'll be using to discuss the common-reading primary source.  The syllabus specifically states "no Wikipedia"; I've offered to vet their prospective online sources to see if they pass the sniff test.  Today I got:

Dear Dr Llanfair,

I have a little trouble finding sources in the library, but I found one or two online.  Is it OK to use as a source?

Polite but Clueless Student

So I emailed back, repeating my suggestion that she email me the links in question.  Her prompt response:

Thanks Dr Llanfair, the website is: google.com.  I typed in [primary source topic] in Google search and clicked on "Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia".  I hope this helps.

PbCS

Poor child.  Poor, poor, poor child.

[mountainguy]

Thanks Dr Llanfair, the website is: google.com.  I typed in [primary source topic] in Google search and clicked on "Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia".  I hope this helps.

Honestly, I don't understand where these students come from. Is there something in the water that makes them stupid? Every semester I go over what kinds of sources I want, I provide examples, and about 1/5th of the students still come up with something completely random like Wikipedia or a random webpage that they cite as "found on google.com." It's painful for me, and it's painful for the students who already know what a source is to have to listen to me blather on for ten minutes about source evaluation.

[cyano]

I told the students that in the introduction to their formal lab report, they needed at least two references to papers from scientific journals.  A student emailed me "I went to the library and even asked the librarian but I couldn't find where you said there were copies of last year's formal lab reports."

[karmie]

It's painful for me, and it's painful for the students who already know what a source is to have to listen to me blather on for ten minutes about source evaluation.

I definitely empathize with you on that point.  Every semester I have a class full of students who 1) have never heard of MLA style*, 2) faintly recall having heard about something that could have sounded like "MLA style" but were too busy not paying attention in high school, or 3) are practically experts in the use of MLA style.  It's oh-so boring (and a waste of time) for students who have already learned citation styles to have to sit there while I teach as though it's a brand new concept for everyone**.

*Surprisingly, these students are not all immigrants. Some high school graduates from here have never been taught a citation style. I thought it was a required part of a high school education!

**I thought about engaging the advanced students in the class by having them help others grasp the idea of citing work, but there are too few of them to go around (sometimes I have only one student who's ever heard of citations in a class).