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[grasshopper]

In my defense I think I am getting better at seeing the humor in it all.

Perhaps sometime you could point out to me where the humour is.

[drsyn]

Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.
Daniel Patrick Moynihan

Translated for huites:
We are all entitled to our own opinions, but not to our own facts.

Sooo..... that means that since I am not a his, I can own my own facts?

[jonesey]

Email from a student to moi when I sent an email to my World Literature class that detailed the pre-reading they should do prior to the first session:

"Professor Jonesey,

Thanx for the note about worldlit.  Is there allot of reading in this class?"

Ahhh...I love teaching.

[drsyn]

I miss the good ol' days when this thread was made up entirely of "favorite" student emails.

Sorry, CI.  You are right.  But it is hard to resist playing "Wack-a-Mole" on K16.  Endlessly entertaining.

I find it gets boring very fast.  How do you keep it entertaining?  Or is it a point of view?

In all sincerety, you are right.  I do keep promising myself not to rise to the bait.  But sometimes, I.....jjjuuust.....can't stoppppp.

In my defense I think I am getting better at seeing the humor in it all.

I guess there is usually so much to say that I just give up.

Speaking of which, I have just snarked your sig file and one of your posts.  Please don't think that I am targeting you.

[drsyn]

This isn't an email, but one of my students stopped by my office today and said, "I just checked my grade and I wanted to find out what you were going to do about the two questions that didn't have correct answers."  (mult. choice exam)

This was news to me.  I asked which questions?

For both questions, she didn't know the correct answer, which was one of the options.  She asked if she could have her Scantron back.  She said, "Oh, I got an 88!"  (Please see first quote.)  She noticed that one answer was incorrectly marked wrong, so I changed her grade.  I didn't have time, but tomorrow, I will check the photocopy that I made of her exam.

:)

[slac_vap]

I didn't have time, but tomorrow, I will check the photocopy that I made of her exam.

Didn't have time?  Are you kidding?  I would have been way too curious to just let it go.  I would have just been a couple of minutes late to whatever I was off to next.  Just think of what fun awaits you when you discover that the little weasel changed the answer that you "incorrectly marked wrong."

[slac_vap]

Dear Dr. Vap,

I am very disappointed with my grade on the exam.  I feel like I could have done better if I hadn't felt so rushed since I got to class late after taking a test in another class.  I was wondering if you could just write a whole new exam for me and I could take it over.  Let me know and thanks.

Joe Schmoe

Yeah, let me get to work on writing you a "whole new exam." 

This student was indeed late to the exam, but still turned the exam in 10 minutes before I called time.  If he had actually asked me for extended time -since I do believe he came directly from another exam- I would have allowed it.  But this email came 6 days after I returned his exam, and it was his first mention of feeling rushed.

[drsyn]

I didn't have time, but tomorrow, I will check the photocopy that I made of her exam.

Didn't have time?  Are you kidding?  I would have been way too curious to just let it go.  I would have just been a couple of minutes late to whatever I was off to next.  Just think of what fun awaits you when you discover that the little weasel changed the answer that you "incorrectly marked wrong."

I have happier things to do.  Interview scheduled.  Working on two articles.  Deadlines for applications for two really cool positions coming up, so hopefully that means more good interviews.

It's also possible that she didn't change the answer, though this is the first time that the Scantron reader has made a mistake.  She did ask if I made photocopies and I said yes.  I am mostly checking because I think I need to follow up in this stuff. 

[dr_evil]

Dear Dr. Vap,

I am very disappointed with my grade on the exam.  I feel like I could have done better if I hadn't felt so rushed since I got to class late after taking a test in another class.  I was wondering if you could just write a whole new exam for me and I could take it over.  Let me know and thanks.

Joe Schmoe

Yeah, let me get to work on writing you a "whole new exam." 

This student was indeed late to the exam, but still turned the exam in 10 minutes before I called time.  If he had actually asked me for extended time -since I do believe he came directly from another exam- I would have allowed it.  But this email came 6 days after I returned his exam, and it was his first mention of feeling rushed.

Wow...that's just...wow!  I don't think I have ever run into such a case of blatant entitlement before.

My new one:
"Can you tell me if <topic> is on today's quiz?"  Yes, I can, but I won't. <evil grin>

[drsyn]

This isn't an email, but one of my students stopped by my office today and said, "I just checked my grade and I wanted to find out what you were going to do about the two questions that didn't have correct answers."  (mult. choice exam)

This was news to me.  I asked which questions?

For both questions, she didn't know the correct answer, which was one of the options.  She asked if she could have her Scantron back.  She said, "Oh, I got an 88!"  (Please see first quote.)  She noticed that one answer was incorrectly marked wrong, so I changed her grade.  I didn't have time, but tomorrow, I will check the photocopy that I made of her exam.

:)

I checked the photocopy, and she had been straight.

She had erased the wrong answer on a Scantron and marked the correct answer.  The machine saw it as two answers checked.

:)

[full_pensieve]

Just got this gem today:
"Here's my paper since I missed class yesterday, I always go to work and forget sorry about that.  Thanks"

That's it. No greeting, but a signature file listing every possible phone number and the numerous student organizations this student serves as an officer for--clearly, the student remembers to go to meetings. S/he just can't remember to come to class.

Sigh. I'm too young to be jaded.

[athena1]

From a student with a disability:

"I do not want to be treated as everyone else (homogenous) nor do I want to be treated differently"

Huh?

(modified b/c I didn't use the quote function correctly)

[rowan1]

From two students (married couple)

"We are withdrawing from your acting class and need you to sign the withdrawal form.  It is completly unfair that you expect students to stretch out and do yoga in an acting class.  We signed up for acting, not PE.  Acting isn't about being able to touch your toes.  We are going to tell the dean."

Background - it is a begining acting class and we do movement work for the first two weeks.  Stretching and yoga are part of the warm up so that no one gets hurt and every class contains me saying - "only you can know what your body will do, this isn't a sport - if it hurts don't do it."  The odd couple only actually attended 1 and 1/2 classes out of 4 before they dropped.

They are going to tell on me too. 

To be perfectly honest I was hoping they would drop since they had such a bad attitude from day one, that is so counter productive in an acting class.

BTW - my dean, is a huge theatre buff, and has taken my summer acting class and know exactly what I teach and why.  Should be an interesting conversation when they tell on me!  ;-)

[iomhaigh]

From two students (married couple)

"We are withdrawing from your acting class and need you to sign the withdrawal form.  It is completly unfair that you expect students to stretch out and do yoga in an acting class.  We signed up for acting, not PE.  Acting isn't about being able to touch your toes.  We are going to tell the dean."

Background - it is a begining acting class and we do movement work for the first two weeks.  Stretching and yoga are part of the warm up so that no one gets hurt and every class contains me saying - "only you can know what your body will do, this isn't a sport - if it hurts don't do it."  The odd couple only actually attended 1 and 1/2 classes out of 4 before they dropped.

They are going to tell on me too. 

To be perfectly honest I was hoping they would drop since they had such a bad attitude from day one, that is so counter productive in an acting class.

BTW - my dean, is a huge theatre buff, and has taken my summer acting class and know exactly what I teach and why.  Should be an interesting conversation when they tell on me!  ;-)

Oh my.  I wish I were a fly on the wall during that conversation with the dean.   They seemed to have missed that "your body is your instrument" concept, huh? 

[cc_alan]

They are going to tell on me too. 

This makes me giggle.

This needs to be merged into the "What you'd like to say in class..." discussion.

Wait. This is acting. Let me try. I'll play the role of the dean. DA stands for "dumbarse students".

Setting: the dean's office. It seems to be a fairly cheery place. The curtains are open and soft music is playing. Looks can be deceiving, however. There's seems to be a palpable air of doom. Or, it's the airfreshener. It's difficult to discern.

DA: We want to complain...

Dean: SHUT THE F%$# UP. GET YOUR LAZY SOON-TO-BE-CARCASSES OVER HERE! IGOR. GET IN HERE, NOW.

And they are never seen again.

Ta-da! How did you like my one-act play?

Alan