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[conjugate]

(2) While this student is my advisee, I have never had her in a class.  The only things that I have heard from other professors about her scholarship are negative.  She pulls this sort of manipulative trick on fellow students who are 20 years her junior, and they don't appreciate it.  One almost failed her for doing this.

Boy, it's a good thing you aren't going to be able to read this e-mail until Monday afternoon, because the server is down, huh?  ;-)

I have a question; she pulls this trick on "students who are 20 years her junior," and "one almost failed her for doing this"?  How did her fellow student, 20 years her junior, have the ability to fail her?  Isn't that her teacher's job?  Or did I misread something?

[fannie]

I can't write.  She pulls this trick on students, then the professors tell me about it, and one of the professors almost failed her for pulling this trick on her fellow classmates.

In this request, she is essentially asking me to LIE (you'll have to wing it).

She is a pastor!

Yep, I will not be able to read this until Monday at 11 am, at which time I will have the pleasure of telling her that I cannot write her a letter of reference because there is no waiver of rights to read the letter, and I never do that.

If she had signed a waiver, I would have probably written the letter.  Actually, I am very tempted to forward her email to the email@email.org and write a nambly pambly letter full of vague nothings and let her request for me to lie stand out there.

[secretweapon]

And she doesn't know anyone in a managerial role in the diocese in which she is a pastor?  That's weird.

[fosca]

Or she does know people in the diocese, and they don't want to speak for her.  Which, judging from the tone of that e-mail, is my guess.

[profxfiles]

If she had signed a waiver, I would have probably written the letter.  Actually, I am very tempted to forward her email to the email@email.org and write a nambly pambly letter full of vague nothings and let her request for me to lie stand out there.

You should... can I help?

[llanfair]

I am very tempted to forward her email to the email@email.org and write a nambly pambly letter full of vague nothings and let her request for me to lie stand out there.

This would be perfect.  Better still would be to cc: or bcc: her, so she knows you're onto her.

[frogfactory]

No way - what she'll see is that she succeeded in manipulating a letter out of you where she failed with other people.  You're setting yourself up for more BS from her if you do this.

[fannie]

So what would a perfectly bland letter that says absolutely nothing but would not get me in trouble if she read the letter sound like?

he he he

[prof_smartypants]

Maybe something like this:

To Whom it may Concern,

I am writing to recommend STUDENT for POSITION. STUDENT has been my advisee for TIME, and in that period has displayed the maturity and academic rigor expected of a YEAR student. While I cannot speak to her strengths regarding the specific duties POSITION entails, she is very enthusiastic about working for COMPANY, and well, that should count for something.

Sincerely,
ADVISER

[commcycle]

"Student routinely has shoes on the correct feet, and is able to get to class at least half the time."

[mended_drum]

You know, I think I'd be honest, but professional, with this student.  I'd wait until Monday and then respond this way:

"Dear Student:

I have received your request and regret that I cannot furnish the recommendation letter that you have requested.  A well-written recommendation letter requires me to have both specific knowledge of a student's work and sufficient time to compose the letter.  Therefore, I only write letters for students who have taken courses from me (one course for letters to programs inside the university, two for letters that go to external recipients) and only with a minimum notice of five business days. 

If this scholarship is important to you, you need to request a letter from someone who knows you and your work well.  A weak letter would damage your application severely.

Sincerely,
X"

Of course, I also know that my chair and dean would back me up--because I've had to give this response once or twice in the past.

[profxfiles]

So what would a perfectly bland letter that says absolutely nothing but would not get me in trouble if she read the letter sound like?

he he he

To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing in regards to STUDENT'S application for your scholarship. Having never had STUDENT in a class, I cannot comment on her academic abilities, and I have no direct knowledge of her writing, reading, speaking, or group skills. As her advisor, I can tell you that she is making acceptable progress towards graduation. I apologize for sending this to you electronically, but I was only notified about the need for this letter by STUDENT on DATE, thus my haste. If you would like more information, please do not hesitate to call me at 555-1212.
Sincerely,
Dr. Fannie

[t_r_b]

Professor t_r_b-

My name is John Doe and I am in your History 111 class (section 1). I have been thinking about this email regarding short written assignment #2 [due electronically about 11 days ago]; at first I was going to roll with the judgment call by accepting the zero because I did not submit the assignment [yep, that was a really tough judgment call: kept me up all night]. However, I have reconsidered this stance and I would now like to respectfully request that you examine my situation a little closer. You may recall that I sent you an email in the middle of February [yep, I remember]. This email was regarding an announcement of a special trip to the USAFA for the National Character and Leadership Symposium, and I sent this message to you on the 16th of February. I mentioned that I would be able to keep up with the readings; however, I did not mention anything about having computer or web access [your neglect of this significant detail should matter to me because...]. I was hoping that I would indeed have web access, and I even took my laptop with me to Colorado Springs; however, I was unable to secure computer access due to a tight schedule filled with presentations, as well as force protection issues [bummer, dude].

I am taking 18 credits [that would be your first mistake right there]; therefore, I think it is a little unfair to expect a student with this kind of workload to submit the assignment prior to its due date [yes, applying the same rule to you that applies to everyone else is appallingly unfair!]. In addition, I would like to refer to my quiz scores and specifically, the questions that I answered correctly with regard to the Smith assigned reading [the subject of the assignment in question]. If I remember correctly, I answered all of these questions correctly – I read the book and got everything out of it that was required [except for completing the required writing assignment].

I would like to request that in lieu of the zero for short reading #2, I instead receive the grade that I get on whichever quiz score would have normally been dropped [the lowest quiz score for the semester gets dropped; not true for written assignments]. Of course, I will complete all other assigned short writing assignments in the future [of course]. I understand that this request may be slightly unfair to some of the other students in class [true, but who here cares about fairness?]; however, I would also like to point out that my attendance on this trip was determined prior to Spring semester [as were the requirements for this class]. I do the readings, and I perform reasonably well on all of the quizzes [and after all, answering multiple-choice questions is what history is all about. Why do we even bother with all this "writing" nonsense?]; I also have a history of a reasonably good body of work from courses in the past to back up my reputation of doing what is required in class [bully for you].

Thank you very much for reading this long email [my pleasure]. I will, of course, completely understand if you are unable to fulfill my request [Thank you. Your understanding means so much to me].

Very respectfully,

John Doe

[geonerd]

Apparently John Doe's leadership seminar failed to cover time management skills, or anything along the lines "spend your time writing your assignments, not emails."

The forumite's moniker escapes me, but a few months ago someone came up with a gem for these situations "The world needs people who can do things, not explain why they couldn't."

[scheherazade]

TRB took an extra helping of snark today!

I will, of course, completely understand if you are unable to fulfill my request.

Why do I doubt this?