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[scienceprof]

Sorry about that; anyway, the student was a white male, I asked him, on the last day of class to email me if he wanted to know when he could pick up his final paper, that is the email  address that was from him,  sent to me.  He also stated this in class on his way out of the door. A very unpleasant moment. And, I received two more emails from him before I reported this to student affairs.

What did you report him to student affairs for?  (for being morally deficient, or being clueless?)

[grasshopper]

Sorry about that; anyway, the student was a white male, I asked him, on the last day of class to email me if he wanted to know when he could pick up his final paper, that is the email  address that was from him,  sent to me.  He also stated this in class on his way out of the door. A very unpleasant moment. And, I received two more emails from him before I reported this to student affairs.

What an idiot. Who does that kind of thing? Honestly.

[rowansoc]

Here's one I received this week, right before the finals. The student is a good and sweet kid, but tends to disappear after the midterms and never hand in other assignments.

This is his explanation:

   I have within the past couple years been diagnosed with ____ disorder as well as _______, I have been prescribed medication for this from my specialist which I can provide documentation, I just want to ask in request of an incomplete as my grade for this semester, I have been on several medications and have not been able to find the right balance to keep me focused on my work, that mixed with the chaos of the season as well as my hectic work weeks have left me unable to give my schoolwork the attention it deserves. If there is any way this is at all possible please let me know the exact procedures I need to do to make this happen. Also, I have been placed on academic probation because of this problem, I am a transfer student from Nearby State university, this affliction has been hurting my focus all during my college career, I really want to graduate and want to do anything I can to fix what I have done.

Thank you for your time and consideration,
The Student

[redweather]

I could believe that writing center tutors didn't know that paraphrasing with attribution is plagiarism.  We have a bunch of writing tutors at the center on my campus who are complete morons and don't understand the first thing about citation.  I have a feeling that this student is pulling the classic making excuses and blaming others for his own failure to do his work properly.

Not sure what goes on in the tutoring lab.  But some of the tutors do seem to go overboard in the kind of help they give students.  As for not understanding plagiarism, this student -- and they are legion -- simply cut and paste large chunks of a wikipedia article into his paper.  He changed or moved a word or two and thought that was sufficient.  Uh . . . no.

[ideagirl]

And here's one more before I clean out my mailbox:

i wanna know what do u suggest for me to do at this point.

Where to begin? 

I think you mean "where 2 bgin."

[millerdb]

Some emails reflect the difference between night and day in terms of the kinds of students one deals with.   These 2 arrived within the past 24 hours:

NIGHT:
I'm interested in learning about this phscycology major thing.  i am going
for my bgs focus in human services, and am unsure if I should be majoring
in pshc or sociology, can i do the same things with a ba in human
services, rather than ba, or bs in phyc or sociology.  whats the best for
me, i want to either be an addiction counselor in a rehab, or do
therapeutic horsemanship.

…AND DAY:
Dear Professors/Doctors,
  I wanted to take a break from studying for my last exam of the semester
and thank you for everything you have taught me this year. Since just
about all my final grades are in I think its appropriate that this can't
be considering "brown-nosing" but an honest and sincere thank you.
  My feeling is that out of the hundreds of students you teach each
semester that you don't get very many thanks. Which I think you deserve
because you affect out lives and shape us more than you know. Your
job is incredibly stressful and you probably think that a lot of what you
say goes unheard or over our heads.  In some instances that's
probably true. But the generalizations and main points stick with us.
  Thank you again for everything this semester, and have a Merry
Christmas and Happy New Year!

[anthroid]

Sorry about that; anyway, the student was a white male, I asked him, on the last day of class to email me if he wanted to know when he could pick up his final paper, that is the email  address that was from him,  sent to me.  He also stated this in class on his way out of the door. A very unpleasant moment. And, I received two more emails from him before I reported this to student affairs.

What an idiot. Who does that kind of thing? Honestly.

Agree.  And it's hate language.  Student Affairs is interested in hate language.

[assessment_lady]

So many of my students don't seem to understand that the things they do now will affect them when they go to get a job!  If you're going to be an elementary teacher, you probably shouldn't put pictures of yourself on Facebook in lewd acts while drunk!  And preservice teachers at my university work on electronic portfolios in which they have to post work from various classes...and their professors' names are on their as well.  Might a potential employer contact a professor to ask about character?  Think about it kids!  Don't call your professor a b!tch because it will come back to haunt you (true story, a student called me this one day in class and then said he was "just kidding".  I don't know about all of you, but I don't think that's "kidding".).

[anglo_tejano]

My favorite Student email read as follows:

"Professor Tejano:
I just saw my final grade for your course.  I now I got a 55% in your course, why do I have an F?"

This began a string of about 5 emails in which we discussed the grading for the course and this student's personal situation.

Finally my wife, who is also a professor, told me to write that I, "sympathized with the student's situation, but would not change the grade."

That ended the emails.

[profesoracr]

This in last night:

Hi,

I was wondering if I could come into your office Monday and Tuesday from 1-3pm to study for the final exam with you? I know this is last minute, but I was wondering if you wouldnt mind helping me study a lil more before weds!!

Thank you

Student X

I responded politely and let the student know that I would be happy to answer specific questions or go over specific topics with her on one of the days, but that she should use the review materials I prepared for actually studying.  I'm definitely giving e-mail etiquette lessons starting next semester.

[tin_cup_chalice]

And here's one more before I clean out my mailbox:

dear professor i have accidentally submitted a wrong work for week 9 in turn it in is there anyway i can un submit my previous work and re submit it? also when do u have office hours so i can come and talk to you about my previous papers because i have had many tutors look at my work and my last paper i sat down and wrote It with one of the tutors from the lab. i think your style of teaching and writing is different than them because they were shocked that you think revising someone Else's words is direct plagiarism specially on the poetry paper where almost all the matches on turn it in where papers submitted by other students from other institutions. unless this was a class only for the English majors i don't think it would be common knowledge for all students to know much about poetry and Shakespeare. unless i can treat the papers like research papers i don't think i have enough previous knowledge form 1101 to know about poetry specially since we didn't read a single poems in 1101.i wanna know what do u suggest for me to do at this point.

Where to begin? 

These are the emails that prompt me to turn off my computer and go home.

[acronym]

Hi, I'm new here...
I've been reading with interest and laughter, and have a few emails to share.  Then I still have a few hundred pages of posts to get through!  Thank goodness we're on break now.

These are from the end of this semester:
Hi (my name),
I do not know if there is any way that you can help me out with this, but I
figured I would ask you anyways.  Here is my issue:  this is my 2nd time
taking (this course).  I took it last year and my final grade was a D-.  I am
trying to get into the nursing program here at (our university), and I have to have a C or
above in ALL of my classes BEFORE I apply.  My final for your class is a C-, a
71.2.  I've looked at the syllabus and a 73 is considered a C.  I was
wondering if there was absolutely anything I could possibly do to earn these
extra few points?
--Future nurse who will never work on any member of MY family

My response:

I'm afraid not.  I do not curve grades, and there have been a significant amount of bonus points available to earn in this class.  Actually, I was rather impressed that you scored high enough on the final to pull yourself up to a passing grade.  The same effort on your other exams would have been your best help.

Your Professor


And then this gem, sent about 36 hours before the final exam:

No salutation,

I wanted to know if there is anyway that you can email me blank copies of the
past 4 exams so it would be easier for me to study... thank you

Signature, but no class or section number.

Reply:

I'm afraid not.

[assessment_lady]

Whoa, I was quoted in the CHE article about this forum...it's almost like I'm famous!

[science_expat]

Addressing some earlier comments, I think the CHE author is "Atalanta" who is the OP and hence wants to continue to attract newbies to the thread... ;~)

[grasshopper]

Loosely paraphrased:

Hey Grassy - the book I need to complete the (already overdue) assignment isn't in the library and I can't find a copy online and I have to go to work so I can't go to the bookstore to buy another copy of my own so I can get the work done before the office closes today. Can you just give me a different question to answer that uses a different book?


Ha ha ha! Sure!