next »

[thenewyorker]

Sorry gennimom: translation?

[katherineparr]

NY: Rolling on the Floor Laughing My [Booty] Off

And, I must say, ME TOO!!

[gennimom]

Exactly!

[asterix]

Sorry gennimom: translation?

For future reference, www.acronymfinder.com is great for this type of information.

[not_a_gradstudent1]

From a student who's already been featured several times in this thread. (relevant background information: class starts at 1:00 and isn't located anywhere near my office):

"HI. I want to talk about my grade. Can I come to your office before class, hopefully at 12:50?"

[mended_drum]

I got this one today:  "dr. grinnellns, I need to meet to talk about my schedule.  It has to be at 10:30am because that's the only hour I have free in the morning and I have golf from 1-5pm."

I have a 10:30 class.  When I explained that, he responded, "So could you start one class late?   this is really important and your my advisor"

Fortunately, a word to the student's coach resulted in his meeting with me in the afternoon and attending practice fifteen minutes late. 

Still, I'm pretty amazed.

[sciprofmw]

hot off the press:

Dr. sciprofmw,
I noticed on blackboard that the average exam score is extremely low and I was wondering if anything will be done about this.
Sincerely,
Whining student

My reply:
Dear Whining student,
Yes, something needs to be done.  I recommend studying.
Dr. sciprofmw

[notaprof]

A student has to take a test on-line in order to qualify for a study abroad program.   This is required because her essay written in Spanish was incomprehensible to the Spanish university until they read it in English.  It looks to me like she put major chunks of her English essay into an online translator like Babelfish to translate it for her into Spanish so big chunks of her essay came out as gibberish. 

First she asked if I could just send her the link so she could take the test at her convenience and I explained that no, I would have to procter her taking of the test.  Then I received this:

Realistically, I won't have time until Thursday/Friday afternoon.  I was wondering if I could take a look at the format of the test before
I take it so I can prepare myself for it.   Can I swing by around 4pm
today just to take a look?

Huh?  I guess everyone could be better prepared if they were handed a test 2 days in advance. 

[asstprofjr]

Yup, we all would be better prepared given the exact test a couple of days in advance. My students would love this.

[bowlingfordollars]

In my mailbox today (it's April!) I found:

"Hello.  I'm considering to take your class for fall 2008.  So
could I have a syllabus for my reference?"

Um, no. I will start thinking about my fall courses on August 20th, and not a moment earlier. How about picking up a syllabus at the first class, with everyone else? And do some work on English idiom in the meantime.

In fact, I sent no reply, hoping the student will decide to pester someone else. The very LAST thing I need is a student who is both needy and illiterate.

[concordancia]

In fact, I sent no reply, hoping the student will decide to pester someone else. The very LAST thing I need is a student who is both needy and illiterate.

This student is needy, but I am willing to bet that rather than illiterate, hu is bilingual.

[summers_off]

Bowling,  I'd be happy that a student who actually cares & plans ahead would like to take my class!  Besides he/she requested a syllabus, not the syllabus, so you could just give him/her an old one, so that the student can get a feel for the types of assignments, readings, etc. that are involved.

asstprofjr, some of my students would still fail, even if given the exam 2 days ahead of time.  <sigh>

[slac_vap]

I got this one today:  "dr. grinnellns, I need to meet to talk about my schedule.  It has to be at 10:30am because that's the only hour I have free in the morning and I have golf from 1-5pm."

I have a 10:30 class.  When I explained that, he responded, "So could you start one class late?   this is really important and your my advisor"

Fortunately, a word to the student's coach resulted in his meeting with me in the afternoon and attending practice fifteen minutes late. 

Still, I'm pretty amazed.

I do hope the "word to the student's coach" included a mention that the student actually suggested that you delay class for all of your other students in order to accommodate this one student's schedule.  And maybe a nice, "I'm sure he was kidding, of course!  But if not... well, I hope this is not what I can expect from your athletes in the future."  Coaches generally aren't terribly fond of their players making them look stupid.

[summers_off]

This just in....

"Hello professor [summers_off...spelled wrong],

If you have time can you please tell me what grade I need on the optional final in order to get an A- in your class based on the grades I have been getting through the semester.

Best regards;
student"

I had to let him know that there were still too many other items outstanding (e.g., final presentation, class participation, etc.) for me to calculate the grade he needed.  Thank goodness May is almost here!!!

[the_honey_badger]

Bowling,  I'd be happy that a student who actually cares & plans ahead would like to take my class!  Besides he/she requested a syllabus, not the syllabus, so you could just give him/her an old one, so that the student can get a feel for the types of assignments, readings, etc. that are involved.

asstprofjr, some of my students would still fail, even if given the exam 2 days ahead of time.  <sigh>

Experience has shown me this is most often NOT the case where I am.  A freshman "study seminar" suggests this on my campus so I get lots of requests---the offer to send an old one was not received well by several last spring, btw, they wanted "the real one."  The thinking was that they'd set up a calendar of due dates, start reading and assignments early and all sorts of admirable stuff.  

For spring 08, I had merely updated the previous iteration of one course in a fit of efficiency months before.  Five students begged for the syllabus early "to prepare" and, since I knew of their reason, I set it and then watched their progress separately.  All finished in the B and C range and all were mighty unhappy people all semester---one actually told me more or less that one aspect of doing that pre-request was to "impress the professor with how serious you are."  Telling him that in a class of 100, any prof is unlikely to recall who got a syllabus early, he was quite indignant---apparently this psychological ploy was supposed to work on profs like magic  (the thinking seemed to be along the lines of personalizing you to the prof making a poor grade harder to give...).

The funniest was when I realized that one never did anything with the early syllabus, she thought *having* it was enough to "help" her. The ultimate in magical thinking as one colleague called it.

I got a request today for one. I told the student I wasn't teaching that course again until Spring 2009. He asked again for a copy then for that semester. I replied that it would not be ready until December.  His reply was that he probably would not take the course because he worried that I didn't "plan ahead."  Yep, I found that they were told that the inability to get one of these "advance" syllabus copies when registration opened for the next semester (say, April 1 for Sept classes...)  was a "warning sign" of a "disorganized professor."

The advising/orientation people here are always promoting nutty stuff like that.