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[infopri]

I hate that my sister taught her son to call me Aunt FirstName, instead of just FirstName (and I can't seem to break him of the habit).  Etc.  But from undergraduates, FirstName just didn't feel right.

Infopri, what is it that bothers you about being called Aunt FirstName?  I don't see "Aunt" as a title so much as a modifier that serves the purpose of reinforcing family bonds.  I don't know how old your nephew is, but I would guess your sister started the whole Aunt FirstName thing to teach him about family and to denote the special place you have in his life.  I'm curious whether you prefer to suspend other family terms (Mom, Dad...) as well?  If you eventually were to have grandkids, would you prefer FirstName to Grandma?

It just feels artificial to me.  None of us (neither my sister nor my stepsister, nor any of our cousins) were brought up this way, and "Aunt" is not my name.  I wouldn't like it if my cousins called me "Cousin FirstName," either, although one (who is my age) and I have always used "cuz" (without a name) from time to time with each other (as in, "thanks, cuz").  I'm sure you're right, slap_vap, about my sister's need to reinforce family connections, but there are better ways to do that--which is material for an entirely different thread.

I did call my parents Mom and Dad, and had similar names for my grandparents, but I was taught those from birth, just as my nephew (now in his early 20s) was taught to call me Aunt FirstName.  So, although I have no kids (and won't be having any), yes, I would have opted for the parental/grandparental titles--a product of my conditioning, just like my nephew.

Bibliothecula, thank you.  "Grate" is exactly the word.  It's not my name, and it's not even "family custom."  It's just something Sister wanted.  I had "multiple parents," too, and agree that "your mother" vs. "my mother" etc. gets tiresome.  Plus, my mother would have been devastated/furious if she ever heard me refer to my stepmother using ANY form of "mom."

[yemaya]

It just feels artificial to me.

Same here.  None of our siblings have kids (yet anyway), but there is this one friend of his family that I can't stand.  She insists that her kids call me Auntie Yemaya.  Not only that, while I love kids, these particular spawns of Satan make me want to perform a self-hysterectomy right then and there.

[gennimom]

You can tell whether I was older or younger than the age of 18 when they were born by what my nephews and nieces call me. The older ones call me by my first name and the younger ones call me Aunt. Of course in our family there are SO MANY grandkids (we are a prolific bunch), it is less confusing to have the actual relatives designated as such.

Right now, though, we have a problem with what our daughter will call people. We have Grandma, Granny, and Pawpaw, my youngest sister is Nana (because that is what her own grandkids call her) and Aunts and Uncles right and left. The problem arises with the fact that she is in one generation, and all the kids her age are another generation. We were so slow having a child, several of her first cousins are having kids of their own, some are even older than our daughter is. Being from the South where titles are de riguer (sp?), I have a hard time having her call the older cousins by their first name, but they aren't her aunts and uncles either. We may just end up playing it by ear, depending on what the other kids do about their parent's siblings and first cousins.

One thing I don't expect to hear though, is "Great-Aunt Gennimom." I might slap somebody...

(Boy, have we gotten off topic!)

[sirrah]

My family is also quite large, but I am the youngest of four and have nieces and nephews only a few years younger than me.  What's funny is that they call me "sirrah" but their friends would call me "aunt sirrah" I couldn't figure it out until I realized that when I was referred to by my nieces and nephews in conversations with their friends, they would say "I went to go buy the new Harry Potter with my aunt, sirrah," the kids heard "aunt sirrah" and thought that was what I'm called.  They even refer to my mother (the grandmother of my nieces and nephews) as "Maw-maw" too.  I choose to believe it is because we are so cool. 

[onlyanne]

Wow...this thread has wandered.

Eh, so what?    

I want to weigh in on the Aunt thing.   I grew up pronouncing Aunt 'Ant' but now I live in an area where the more dignified long-A 'Aunt' is common.  My only nephew's still pretty new, but I totally dig being 'Ant Anne.'  I probably wouldn't feel the same way if my SIL tried to impose the other pronounciation.

[gennimom]

I've heard the "Awnt" pronunciation once in a while down here. I always have to pause a moment, and realize what they said.
Scary thought: My oldest nephew is a month older than GD. With 17 years between my oldest sib and I, I was only 3 when she produced the first grandkid.

[callithrix]

Both my first and last name are transliterated and unpronounciable if someone tries to read them by the rules of English. I've collected like 50 different USA spellings of both, and it's obvious to me that credit card companies use only the first and last letter of my name while generating anything in between at random.

Worse yet, the first name cannot be shortened to something familiar to Americans.

So my only option is to introduce myself and ask students to call me whatever they please, just putting Dr. in front of what supposed to be my last name. I just ask them not to screw the things up intentionally.

[athena1]

Hate to tell you guys, but what the parents tell their kids to call relatives is going to stick. I have far more opportunities to mention a preferred name to my kids than the relatives do, that's just what's going to stick. So, my mother would have liked my kids to call my dad Grandpa PooPoo, but plain PooPoo was much easier and short for my toddlers to say, so that's what stuck. My mom can mention "grandpa PooPoo" all she wants, they will still call him PooPoo.

I suggest not getting worked up about it.

Knid of like when my students call me Mrs Happybut and I just smile.

[slac_vap]

It's been so interesting to me to hear all of your responses.  It never occurred to me that there would be such diversity of reaction to the Aunt/Uncle question.

This gives me a whole other parenting issue to consider.  Do I teach my little one to address people using formal titles, or do I teach him to address people by their self-identified preferred configuration?  Which way is a more effective way to teach a very small child about respect? 

I'll have to give it some thought. 

[scheherazade]

I taught mine "sir" or "ma'am" until told otherwise by the person.  Not very common in the midwest, but it works well.

[case_insensitive]

It's been so interesting to me to hear all of your responses.  It never occurred to me that there would be such diversity of reaction to the Aunt/Uncle question.

This gives me a whole other parenting issue to consider.  Do I teach my little one to address people using formal titles, or do I teach him to address people by their self-identified preferred configuration?  Which way is a more effective way to teach a very small child about respect? 

I'll have to give it some thought. 

Depends on where you live, to some extend and might change as you child becomes older and more perceptive.

We had an exchange student live with us in high school. He was very polite but came from a country that doesn't use words like "sir," "ma'am," and even "please."  Of course, we were living in the deep South. We taught him to use sir, ma'am and please in profusion like everyone else does.  We knew if he didn't and we went to pick up a girl for a date, her father would have a cow and he'd be alone every weekend for the duration. :o)

[onlyanne]

You're never going to please everyone, Slac_vap, so teach them what you'd like their friends to call you.

I don't care if kids call me firstname or Title lastname, but I never manage to act natural after being called "Mrs."  I get this involuntary puzzled expression and think, "Mom?"

[bibliothecula]

You can tell whether I was older or younger than the age of 18 when they were born by what my nephews and nieces call me.

Yeah, good point. My (half-)brothers are about 14 years older than me, and I am about 14 years older than their kids, so maybe the fact that I'm not that much older helped foster the lack of "Aunt." 

[case_insensitive]

You can tell whether I was older or younger than the age of 18 when they were born by what my nephews and nieces call me.

Yeah, good point. My (half-)brothers are about 14 years older than me, and I am about 14 years older than their kids, so maybe the fact that I'm not that much older helped foster the lack of "Aunt." 

Most of my nieces/nephews were born before I finished high school.  They do not call me "Aunt Case."  However, I have noticed when they introduce me it's always as "Aunt Case." 

[gennimom]

Even worse, try explaining to your buddies that the kid running around with you is your nephew and not your cousin, when you keep insisting that he isn't your younger brother, and he doesn't call you aunt.
Confused yet?
My nephew that is only 3 years younger spent an entire summer with us. He went everywhere I did. First impression: "I didn't know you had a younger brother!" (I don't.) Then, "Is your cousin coming with you?" He's not my cousin. I don't know any of my cousins. Then, "How can he be your nephew? You are so close in age!"
Ugh. Kids just don't get the finer points of family relations, sometimes.