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polly_mer
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« Reply #18810 on: February 15, 2012, 08:52:40 PM » |
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Oh, that's good. Thanks for sharing, Docsavage.
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If you haven't got either the anatomical or metaphorical balls to post your own question on a pseudonymous internet forum, then academia is the wrong job for you.
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citrine
Member
Posts: 243
Beware the Annoying Bad Luck Snail
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« Reply #18811 on: February 15, 2012, 09:01:48 PM » |
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That's fabulous, docsavage. This one is not: Dr. Citrine,
Attached is the [assignment] that was due on monday, I know it's late and I understand that a good amount of points will be taken off. I feel that it's worth the read though and is a stepping stone to success in the course.
Sincerely,
Student Who Has Already Missed Two and a Half Weeks of Class
(Yes, I will grade it under the terms of the late paper policy in my syllabus. The attempt to sell me on reading it perhaps with an eye to not applying the terms of said late policy is sure something, though!) |
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tinyzombie
She of the Ass-Kicking Socks, and a
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 7,438
elevate from this point on - chuck d
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« Reply #18812 on: February 15, 2012, 09:06:31 PM » |
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Credible/schmedible. How long ago was that memo announced? Why wasn't that assignment done a couple days ago as well as the study for the test so that the evening was free for a nice date?
Unless that memo is worth a substantial fraction of the grade, someone can prove a hospital visit (not a lover's spat that includes dinner), and that memo was attached to the missed-it-by-that-much email, that's a zero in my book. In my experience, people who are blindsided once a term or so by life tend to be much more proactive about getting those assignments in attached to the pleading email and only asking for something major than the people who are regularly tripping over the same piece of carpet and always a day late and a dollar short.
Agreed. 110%. octo, I love how blatantly she's trying to get you on her side - that "right" and all those question marks. Bleh. citrine, ugh. "Worth the read"? Puh-leeeeze. |
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Correct, as usual, TZ. That's because you are not Dude. TZ, however, is Dude. TZ is my favorite. I wish YOU began with A. |
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lohai
New member
Posts: 8
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« Reply #18813 on: February 15, 2012, 10:57:04 PM » |
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This week in Math for Humanities, we are talking about number sense and estimation. Problem #1 on their homework:
"How many times does your heart beat during class?"
One of my students emailed me the following:
i keep trying to do #1, but I lose count after like ten minutes. how can i count better?
-Stu Dent
Stu Dent's major? Physical Education with a double minor in Personal Training and Nutrition. I couldn't decide whether to put this on the teaching despair or the email thread.
Update: Stu Dent has "found" his mistake. He didn't, and I quote, count his pulse right. |
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anakin
Most snarkily lightsabered
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 6,478
Goes to 11
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« Reply #18814 on: February 16, 2012, 12:08:31 AM » |
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This gem. Hey there Dr O :)
I just wanted to shoot you a quick email to let you know why I've missed the last 2 classes. I started a new job recently that tries to be flexable with my schedule so that I'm able to make it to class on tuesdays but sometimes with deadlines and what not it just isnt possible. I looked through the sylabus and I didnt see anything pertaining to an attendance policy so I wanted to get your take on the situation. Also, I've been trying to take my lunch during your office hours so that I could come in and talk to you about this face to face... but as you can see, that hasn't worked out thus far. Such is life, right?? Sometimes it stinks having to grow up and be an adult :)
Thanks for your help!!!
Suzee Suzee is in my hybrid class that meets just once per week. She's missed 3 of 6 meetings. One of the remaining meetings she managed to made was an exam, on which she earned 56% Dear Suzee, Let me know when the big day is! Dr. O |
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Dr. Anakin sits high and mightily in her office while she condemns students to lives of misery and drudgery, washing out their husbands' underwear in filthy water. In addition, she is a horrible teacher. She welcomes you to Introduction to Biology!
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dr_alcott
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« Reply #18815 on: February 17, 2012, 08:02:18 AM » |
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The good news is that this student obviously listened to Tuesday's "how to email me" chat. I'm also amused by the postscript.
Dear professor [funny misspelling of my last name],
[Explanation about why he turned in his late essay to the wrong CMS dropbox folder, since the correct one had closed 13 minutes earlier.]
With much sincerity, [First name last name].
P.s This will be the LAST essay I turn in late because of procrastination. It is too stressful and I can not take it.
Oh, how I love those late-night vows to be good . . .
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I am an insanely elegant, super classy poor white, for the record.
I love everyone here!
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chemystery
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« Reply #18816 on: February 18, 2012, 07:02:07 PM » |
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The good news is that this student obviously listened to Tuesday's "how to email me" chat. I'm also amused by the postscript.
Dear professor [funny misspelling of my last name],
[Explanation about why he turned in his late essay to the wrong CMS dropbox folder, since the correct one had closed 13 minutes earlier.]
With much sincerity, [First name last name].
P.s This will be the LAST essay I turn in late because of procrastination. It is too stressful and I can not take it.
Oh, how I love those late-night vows to be good . . .
Sometimes they're real. Last semester I had a student promise that the lab report she was turning in late was going to be the last one she turned in late. Two weeks later, she dropped the course. |
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"Nolite te bastardes carborundorum"
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collegeprofessor2009
New member
Posts: 36
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« Reply #18817 on: February 20, 2012, 04:57:12 PM » |
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After receiving a detailed study guide for the midterm, I have received the message from a student. Also, keep in mind all my lectures involve Powerpoint presentations where everything the students need to remember is written down.
"Thank you for the study guide! I was wondering exactly what readings would be the best to study. Also, i was wondering what the best things to study would be? I know you gave us a study guide, but it is a lot. If i could get a summery kinda of that. Only if you can. I just really want to do the best i can and this is overwhelming."
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profreader
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« Reply #18818 on: February 20, 2012, 07:48:46 PM » |
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After receiving a detailed study guide for the midterm, I have received the message from a student. Also, keep in mind all my lectures involve Powerpoint presentations where everything the students need to remember is written down.
"Thank you for the study guide! I was wondering exactly what readings would be the best to study. Also, i was wondering what the best things to study would be? I know you gave us a study guide, but it is a lot. If i could get a summery kinda of that. Only if you can. I just really want to do the best i can and this is overwhelming."
Like a study guide for the study guide. Only, you'll need a study guide for the study guide for the study guide. It's like Inception... we must go deeper into the study guides. |
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palla
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« Reply #18819 on: February 20, 2012, 08:12:26 PM » |
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Here is one I got today:
i am sorry this is late. i am giving up recreational drugs during the semester so it wont happen again.
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rebelgirl
"The only and thoroughbred lady" --Joe Hill said so.
Senior member
Posts: 692
"A hardened English teacher"--Disgruntled Student
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« Reply #18820 on: February 20, 2012, 08:48:01 PM » |
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Here is one I got today:
i am sorry this is late. i am giving up recreational drugs during the semester so it wont happen again.
**spew**Palla, can your student donate his/her recreational drugs to needy forumites? Collegeprof2009 - truly amazing email. What, now they want SparkNotes for . . . study guides? |
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I blame all of our problems on that frikkin' Timmy. Lassie should have left his lazy @$$ in the well.
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geonerd
Creator of the award for heroic avoidance of dangling prepositions AND a
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 5,577
Do not take the bait
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« Reply #18821 on: February 20, 2012, 09:36:50 PM » |
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After receiving a detailed study guide for the midterm, I have received the message from a student. Also, keep in mind all my lectures involve Powerpoint presentations where everything the students need to remember is written down.
"Thank you for the study guide! I was wondering exactly what readings would be the best to study. Also, i was wondering what the best things to study would be? I know you gave us a study guide, but it is a lot. If i could get a summery kinda of that. Only if you can. I just really want to do the best i can and this is overwhelming."
Like a study guide for the study guide. Only, you'll need a study guide for the study guide for the study guide. It's like Inception... we must go deeper into the study guides. I play dumb with with these kinds of requests. Dear Student, Yes, you are correct. The study guide you received lists the readings and summarizes the topics to be covered on the upcoming exam. Start preparing early and review one chapter per day to avoid getting overwhelmed. Your Prof |
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"Is this the water?"
"Yes."
Traffic doesn't care what I think of it. |
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reener06
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« Reply #18822 on: February 20, 2012, 10:59:16 PM » |
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Dear Dr. Reener,
I was wondering if I could meet with you regarding the first essay I turned in. I received an 8.1 out of ten. I really want to get an A in this course so I would love to hear your suggestions so I can do better on the next essay. I completely understand if you cannot meet because of your schedule so if it is more convenient you can e-mail your feedback. Thank you so much!
Have a great day and see you tomorrow!
Stu Dent
Dear Stu Dent
It's really quite simple on how to get that A:
1. Read the extensive feedback comments I put on your essay. You know, where I correct all grammatical mistakes, point out errors, and then provide a long summary at the bottom summarizing what you did wrong and where you can improve
2. Stop sitting in the back of the class texting and facebooking your friends. I'm really not that stupid--I just assumed you didn't care about your grade very much
Signed,
Dr. Reener
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gennimom
Somewhat Southern (Have I really posted that much?)
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 16,983
Let's get summer over with! Me want snow!
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« Reply #18823 on: February 20, 2012, 11:15:11 PM » |
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Reener, please tell me you really sent that!
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...only after reading gm's post, my new mantra is "always listen to gennimom".
Monday reeks! - Garfield The outside of a horse is good for the inside of a person (or something like that). |
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rebelgirl
"The only and thoroughbred lady" --Joe Hill said so.
Senior member
Posts: 692
"A hardened English teacher"--Disgruntled Student
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« Reply #18824 on: February 20, 2012, 11:20:31 PM » |
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Dear Dr. Reener,
I was wondering if I could meet with you regarding the first essay I turned in. I received an 8.1 out of ten. I really want to get an A in this course so I would love to hear your suggestions so I can do better on the next essay. I completely understand if you cannot meet because of your schedule so if it is more convenient you can e-mail your feedback. Thank you so much!
Have a great day and see you tomorrow!
Stu Dent
Dear Stu Dent
It's really quite simple on how to get that A:
1. Read the extensive feedback comments I put on your essay. You know, where I correct all grammatical mistakes, point out errors, and then provide a long summary at the bottom summarizing what you did wrong and where you can improve
2. Stop sitting in the back of the class texting and facebooking your friends. I'm really not that stupid--I just assumed you didn't care about your grade very much
Signed,
Dr. Reener
Please tell us you truly sent this! Gennimom and I will sacrifice live plagiarists at your altar. (Well, maybe I should speak only for myself - gennimom?) |
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I blame all of our problems on that frikkin' Timmy. Lassie should have left his lazy @$$ in the well.
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