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[happycamper]

I just received this one from an advisee:

"Hello-
I'm trying to set up my course schedule, and I was wondering if you had a few minutes today that I could meet with you?  I'll be done classes in a half hour.  Let me know, thank you :)"

What?  You're done with classes in half an hour?  So, you're e-mailing me from someone else's class?  How about paying attention to the lecture, buddy!

[case_insensitive]

Student emailed me last night with his final exam (grad class, take home exam) and included only a message in Spanish. I do not speak Spanish. So, I put it through a translator...  here is the result: Merry Christmas and a very glad new anus!

He is the first person to wish me that...


Ever.

:o)

c i

[helpful]

Student emailed me last night with his final exam (grad class, take home exam) and included only a message in Spanish. I do not speak Spanish. So, I put it through a translator...  here is the result: Merry Christmas and a very glad new anus!

He is the first person to wish me that...


Ever.

:o)

c i

Probably working on a computer without an easy way to use the ~ which would go over the n in the word for year.

[case_insensitive]

Student emailed me last night with his final exam (grad class, take home exam) and included only a message in Spanish. I do not speak Spanish. So, I put it through a translator...  here is the result: Merry Christmas and a very glad new anus!

He is the first person to wish me that...


Ever.

:o)

c i

Probably working on a computer without an easy way to use the ~ which would go over the n in the word for year.

I suppose. But if i type in Merry Christmas and a happy new year, it doesn't look like what he wrote minus the tilde...  But, what do I know? I don't speak Spanish and I didn't know this student did (if he does) either. Just struck me as odd and I wonder if he knows my colo-rectal surgeon...  ;-o

c i

[yemaya]

Dear Professor [me],

I am applying to [my program] and [XYZ] University.  I haven't spent much time looking into your program, do you have any insight on which program is best as far as professors, financial aid, and the students.

Thanks,

Someone needs to tell this student that hu should be doing hu's own research!!!  If hu can't figure out this sort of thing on hu's own, hu has no business in a PhD program.

[voxprincipalis]

Dear Professor [me],

I am applying to [my program] and [XYZ] University.  I haven't spent much time looking into your program, do you have any insight on which program is best as far as professors, financial aid, and the students.

Thanks,

Someone needs to tell this student that hu should be doing hu's own research!!!  If hu can't figure out this sort of thing on hu's own, hu has no business in a PhD program.

Aha! So this is where a certain job-seeker over on the "short list" thread comes from. That clears up a lot.

VP

[almost_done]

I teach a graduate-level applied research course in the social sciences. On the first day of class as I distributed the syllabus, one of my students said: "I hope I'm not going to have to use Blackboard for this class because I don't 'do' computers."

The same student would send me emails, saying "I have a question and I don't do email, so please call me at this (long distance) cell phone number in the next 30 minutes."

[gennimom]

Okay, with numerous universities requiring students to have computers, and so much stuff being put on computers and not sent out any other way, how do students like these survive?
I had one student that never received the emails I sent out for the entire class because his account was full. He never checked it and never emptied it. When asked, he didn't "do" computers either. What did he do, go to class when school was cancelled for extreme weather because he couldn't be bothered to check the website? He also never had any of the printouts for the lab, unless someone else printed them out.

UGH.

[case_insensitive]

hey Dr I,

i heard a few people talking about not counting one of their tests and having the final count extra. i was wondering if i could do that as well in place of the last test. i've been working so hard this semester in your class. seriously staying up at all hours trying to learn this. at this point, i'm extremely desperate considerin i need a B to keep my scholarship and i really need the scholarship for school. anyway, i'd really appreciate it if you would consider doing the test thing.

thanks
ruby

Dear Ruby,

Hmm... let's read the syllabus, shall we?  If you miss one exam, no makeups are offered, but rather your final counts twice.  That isn't the same as dropping your lowest exam, is it?

Desperation on your part, relayed to me after the last day of class, does not constitute an emergency on my part...

Dr I

Of course, I didn't email it just like that... but suggested she read the syllabus rather than listening to rumors, because no one is getting an exam score dropped.

Why do students think that the more desperate they think they are (regardless of why...) the more likely the professor is to change their policies or grade?

Personally, the more sob the story, the more aggravated I get that they think a sob story is the most relevant method to improving their grade.  Not to single out Ruby, who is only one in a long line of "I need grade X to keep my scholarship/maintain my GPA/whatever" stories...

c i

[smart_e_pantz]

hey Dr I,

i heard a few people talking about not counting one of their tests and having the final count extra. i was wondering if i could do that as well in place of the last test. i've been working so hard this semester in your class. seriously staying up at all hours trying to learn this. at this point, i'm extremely desperate considerin i need a B to keep my scholarship and i really need the scholarship for school. anyway, i'd really appreciate it if you would consider doing the test thing.

thanks
ruby

Dear Ruby,

Hmm... let's read the syllabus, shall we?  If you miss one exam, no makeups are offered, but rather your final counts twice.  That isn't the same as dropping your lowest exam, is it?

Desperation on your part, relayed to me after the last day of class, does not constitute an emergency on my part...

Dr I

Of course, I didn't email it just like that... but suggested she read the syllabus rather than listening to rumors, because no one is getting an exam score dropped.

Why do students think that the more desperate they think they are (regardless of why...) the more likely the professor is to change their policies or grade?

Personally, the more sob the story, the more aggravated I get that they think a sob story is the most relevant method to improving their grade.  Not to single out Ruby, who is only one in a long line of "I need grade X to keep my scholarship/maintain my GPA/whatever" stories...

c i

Out of fairness to Ruby, they sort of are getting the lowest grade dropped.  Students who had the wherewithall to skip an exam they were not prepared for are rewarded with having the final count twice instead of having to count a low grade on an earlier exam.  Students who sucked it up and took the earlier exam are out of luck.  To avoid this situation, my policy is that students who miss an exam have to make it up during the last week of classes.  This practically ensures they will not have an advantage over other students because they will likely be taking the exam long after we've covered the material and they won't have any additional time to prepare for the exam because they have a bunch of other end-of-semester deadlines for all of their classes.

Perhaps you should consider rewarding those students who were diligent enough to take all of the exams by dropping their lowest exam and counting the final grade twice.  That said, it is likely the student will bomb the final but you get brownie points by looking like you are attempting to be fair.

[case_insensitive]

Out of fairness to Ruby, they sort of are getting the lowest grade dropped.  Students who had the wherewithall to skip an exam they were not prepared for are rewarded with having the final count twice instead of having to count a low grade on an earlier exam.  Students who sucked it up and took the earlier exam are out of luck.  To avoid this situation, my policy is that students who miss an exam have to make it up during the last week of classes.  This practically ensures they will not have an advantage over other students because they will likely be taking the exam long after we've covered the material and they won't have any additional time to prepare for the exam because they have a bunch of other end-of-semester deadlines for all of their classes.

Since the final is comprehensive, I don't think counting it double is a better option than actually taking an exam.  The comprehensive final is much harder, because of the mass of content, than the small exams.  So the "taking the exam long after the material is covered" still applies, more or less.

Perhaps you should consider rewarding those students who were diligent enough to take all of the exams by dropping their lowest exam and counting the final grade twice.  That said, it is likely the student will bomb the final but you get brownie points by looking like you are attempting to be fair.

My understanding of fair is that all students are treated equally and all policies are clear in the syllabus.   Very few students (who did not subsequently drop the course) missed an exam.  This is an introductory sophomore level course, by the way.

This particular student had a major health issue at the time of one exam, but chose to take it anyhow and scored ok.  The exam she is complaining about is not that exam, but a different one.

What constitutes an acceptable sob story?  This one just seems to be the usual "I studied hard but didn't perform well and it's your fault if i lose my scholarship" sort of thing. If i treat her differently from the rest, then I cease to be "fair" to all.

Thank you for your comments, smarty_pants (love the moniker).  You give me food for thought for next term's syllabus, at the very least.

c i

[grasshopper]

My understanding of fair is that all students are treated equally and all policies are clear in the syllabus.

See, now, that's where you're missing the mark. What's "fair" is what is easiest for me. It's all relative.

[case_insensitive]

My understanding of fair is that all students are treated equally and all policies are clear in the syllabus.

See, now, that's where you're missing the mark. What's "fair" is what is easiest for me. It's all relative.

Thanks for making that clear, grasshopper. :o)

[dr_evil]

My understanding of fair is that all students are treated equally and all policies are clear in the syllabus.

See, now, that's where you're missing the mark. What's "fair" is what is easiest for me. It's all relative.

Ah, but the student definition of "fair" (I've stolen a copy of their dictionary.) is whatever works to their advantage.  For example, it's not "fair" that I ask them to understand the material rather than memorize.

[cc_alan]

My understanding of fair is that all students are treated equally and all policies are clear in the syllabus.

See, now, that's where you're missing the mark. What's "fair" is what is easiest for me. It's all relative.

Ah, but the student definition of "fair" (I've stolen a copy of their dictionary.) is whatever works to their advantage.  For example, it's not "fair" that I ask them to understand the material rather than memorize.

And that's why you are Dr. Evil!

Are you sure we didn't got to the same school?

Alan