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[pansy]

I've been a little hesitant to post this because it is potentially inflammatory. Please be assured that this is not intended to start a flame war, I am being serious.

I'm on the job search. I've always lived in large cities on the coast. I've always lived in diverse communities and half of my family (who would be moving with me) are not white. I've found a lot of interesting looking jobs in the South and Midwest but the rest of my family is extremely hesitant to move to these areas due to perceptions of racism. However, we acknowledge that we've never lived in these areas so we don't really know if we would be uncomfortable there, so maybe our fears of racism simply reflect our admittedly snobby tendency to think the middle of the country is backwards in terms of race relations compared to the coasts. It's not like we don't have racism on the coasts, but we do have lots of people who aren't white so at least we don't attract attention.

What have your experiences been with different races and cultures been like in different parts of the country? I'd like to be able to assure my family that we'll be okay if we move for one of these jobs. Well, more than okay. That we'd be happy and feel accepted by the community if we moved for one of these jobs.

[brunhilde]

I can tell you about my sister's experience. She is White, married to a Black man, and has multi-racial children. She has only lived on the coasts until last year, when she moved to the south. She was hesitant to move there due to her perceptions of discrimination against her children and mixed race marriages. But she did and has loved it. One thing she didn't realize is that people in the South are much more used to interacting with people of other races, whereas in the coastal places she has previously lived residential, schooling, and other interaction patterns are more segregated.

I do wonder if there are differences between the South and Midwest. There are plenty of non-White people in the South. In the Midwest area in which I currently live, I see very few non-White people.

[prytania3]

It sounds like your family is interracial? I'm thinking you're in the Northeast, but maybe you are in CA.

To be blunt, being interracial is a little trickier than everyone in the family belonging to one race or the other, and quite honestly, the most welcoming places for an interracial family are in major coastal cities.

Still, I wouldn't cross the rest of the country off my list. A lot is really going to depend on where exactly you are thinking about. I shouldn't think you'd have much problem anywhere that has a large academic community.

Despite its reputation, the South has become a good place to live for both blacks and latinos. Both groups have been doing well economically and blacks, in particular, have garnered a lot of political power. You would probably be quite happy in a place like Atlanta or Raleigh or Norfolk/Chesapeake/Va Beach area. In fact, in any of the big southern cities, you should be comfortable. Small towns can be  less accepting if your family doesn't "match" in color; however, if you find a small town where the college or university is the dominant presence, again you should be okay.

As for the midwest, I won't say much other than in my experience, I have found the midwest to be the least tolerant place in the country (come on, guys, flame away!). Still, even in the midwest, there are plenty of pockets with cool people. But I'll let someone more familiar with those areas fill you in.

Good luck on your search.

[minor_t]

I've lived on both coasts and now live in the south, so my opinion is based on experience.  As you noted, racism is everywhere, but you will find faces here that look like yours and those of your family, and people who share your values.  People have worked harder in the south at developing positive race relations than in the other places I've lived.    Segregation de jure is in recent memory, but many many people from all walks of life fought hard for integration and are proud of the progress made in civil rights.  Of course, much remains to be done, but please don't disregard these opportunities because of any pre-conceived notions.  Go ahead and apply.  If you're invited for an interview, bring some family members along to learn about the community.  You may find just the right place for you and your family.

Good luck.

mt

[gennimom]

You are very likely to run into a mixed bag of responses. If you mainly are around academics or middle class and above, you will be less likely to see racism.
I have a friend from high school who married a black man, and her father's family actually moved the date of his funeral in hopes of preventing her from being there (they failed). I also know, that of all the friends she had in high school, I think there are only two of us that still speak to her. I've also met a man who said if his daughter brought home a black man, he would kill her (I'm not sure he graduated from high school, so take his background into account). I realized there was no changing his mind when he started calling me names after I told him I was proud to call the aforementioned person a friend.
That being said, in my experience, those people are the exception, even here in the Deep South.
Most of the interracial students I've seen have had no problems with their peers. There was one student that had a big chip on his shoulder about his mixed race, and I think that had more to do with his lack of acceptance in the community than anything else. It's hard to get friendly with someone when he always doubts your reasons for wanting to be friends. He was also very bright and rebuffed teachers that tried to encourage him to use his brains.

So really, it depends on your attitude about your mixed race identity and what neighborhood you live in.
You can find both ends of the spectrum if you look for it.

[scientiffikk]

I'm from the midwest, have lived in the south and the northeast and travelled throughout the west, south, and mid-south.  My spouse is of a different race, and we have never had an incident of racism.  The only time I ever felt threatened was at a gas station in upstate New York.  My point here is that it is silly to think that small towns in the south and midwest are any more racially hostile than anywhere else in this country.  This attitude really bugs me about city people, especially those from the coasts.

[benji]

I'm white and have lived in the South and also in the Midwest.  You can find racism in both places, no doubt.  A very good African American friend from Louisiana moved to my extremely homogenous white Midwestern city and loved it here.  She also feels comfortable in Georgia, as there are many different skin colors to be found.  However, she has spent time in Alabama and Mississippi and found those places to be scary.  Not to say you can't be happy there---I'm just passing along her opinion. 

As for myself, I have older relatives from Mississippi.  They tell wacky, interesting stories and I think they are gentle people---but they use the N word without batting an eye.  It is part of the culture they grew up in to regard black people as second-class citizens.  I suppose this is not terribly surprising, given the history of Mississippi, but it makes me uncomfortable.  I'm sure there are many open-minded, wonderful people there (I'm not trying to provoke, I promise) but based on what I've heard, I personally wouldn't move to Mississippi.

[smart_e_pantz]

As for the midwest, I won't say much other than in my experience, I have found the midwest to be the least tolerant place in the country (come on, guys, flame away!). Still, even in the midwest, there are plenty of pockets with cool people. But I'll let someone more familiar with those areas fill you in.

Good luck on your search.

No flames here!  I grew up in the deep south.  Some of the midwestern cities I've lived in could teach those Southerners how to be racist!

[prytania3]

As for the midwest, I won't say much other than in my experience, I have found the midwest to be the least tolerant place in the country (come on, guys, flame away!). Still, even in the midwest, there are plenty of pockets with cool people. But I'll let someone more familiar with those areas fill you in.

Good luck on your search.

No flames here!  I grew up in the deep south.  Some of the midwestern cities I've lived in could teach those Southerners how to be racist!

I was trying not to bash. I thought maybe things had changed.

[fym22]

It sounds like the members of your family are extremely race conscious, almost to a deteriment. In fact, their concerns about racism from people they've never met, in an area of the country they've never been, strongly suggests they have some racism issues of their own to work out.

It is wrong to pre-judge people based on what you've heard or read. That is the essence of racism, and it's wrong. I believe those people in the south and mid-west may have more to worry about than your family will ever have with them. 
 

[ablewasi]

Quote #1:

It sounds like the members of your family are extremely race conscious, almost to a deteriment. In fact, their concerns about racism from people they've never met, in an area of the country they've never been, strongly suggests they have some racism issues of their own to work out.

Quote #2:

It is wrong to pre-judge people based on what you've heard or read.



This sort of thing makes me happy.  Whee.

a
 

[ablewasi]

Please forgive the error in quote-box use under "Quote #2:"

a

[pansy]

Thanks everybody for your comments.

To answer a few questions/comments:

Yes we are a biracial family

Though we have never lived in these areas we have traveled across the country and we have met people from the midwest. Based on our brief interaction with people in the rural midwest (no we did not feel threatened but it is pretty darned uncomfortable having an ENTIRE RESTAURANT stare at you like you are television through your entire meal) we suspected we might not be comfortable living there.

I disagree with the statement that my family is overly race conscious. They're just not white. It's not like their race can be turned off. They can't control how people are going to react to them any more than I can control the way people are going to react to me.

The south sounds intriquing. I suspect the situation is similar to the coasts where there are so many non-whites that we'd just blend right in, more or less.

[gennimom]

Hmm, upon rereading my words I noticed a little problem. The biracial student's chip on his shoulder was more likely the CAUSE of the community not accepting him than anything else. He did things that frankly would drive you crazy as a teacher, and then just grin at you when you tried to discipline him. The other students thought he was weird, regardless of skin color. Other biracial students didn't have his problems with being accepted.
Of course, he is now in prison for life for murdering two other black students. Sad story.

[fiona]

Regional stereotyping is really old and tiresome.