next »

[flyguy]

If you all had to use the money to endow scholarships, what restrictions would you put on them? Any?

I would take the George Costanza approach and give it to the solid "C" students!  I kid, but only slightly.  I would give out scholarships to the kids who got decent grades, but ultimately are "hard workin' pull yourself up by the bootstrap" kinda students.  One restriction is they must have worked some menial job during the summer to pay for fall tuition.

Also, I would rent out billboards all across the county that say "Evolve" or "What would Darwin do?" or "Chimps and Humans share 98% of their DNA. Deal with it."  just to counteract all the Fundie billboards I have to put up with.  OK, rant is over.

[ablewasi]

I would build a well fortified and defended compound in the mountains against the coming apocalypse.  I've actually already started this, but right now it's just a large refrigerator crate and a couple of really cranky goldfish in my back yard.

You should really talk to Dr_evil ... either to collaborate on building the secret compound or to know how far his plans are along for utter world domination so that you have an idea of how much time you have left.

And that compound better have a moat!!

Who be this Dr_evil that I should tremble?  I fear no evil. Yea, if I walk in the shadow of a mountain of cash, the clods on my staff will comfort me.

Not knowing how much time I have left fits my plans perfectly.  I sort of have in mind a Fortress of Solicitude, where I can get together with like-minded people and worry about things over which I have absolutely no control – like someone acquiring utter world domination.  All are invited; byow.

The goldfish would love the moat.

[voxprincipalis]

All are invited; byow.

What am I bringing my own of? Wine? Women? Wildebeests? Wabbits?

:-)

VP

[the_crushinator]

Keep the votes coming.  There is one more day to cast your vote.  Oh, and don't forget to buy those tickets!!!!

[dr_evil]

You should really talk to Dr_evil ... either to collaborate on building the secret compound or to know how far his plans are along for utter world domination so that you have an idea of how much time you have left.

And that compound better have a moat!!

Who be this Dr_evil that I should tremble?  I fear no evil. Yea, if I walk in the shadow of a mountain of cash, the clods on my staff will comfort me.

The goldfish would love the moat.

I am Dr. Evil.  I already have the plans for your little fortress, and have developed a plan for invasion.  Even with the moat.  MUAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!  Goldfish?  I have sharks with laser beams in MY moat. ;)

You all have some might big plans. Just how far do you think 100 million goes these days?

If one is going to fantasize, shouldn't one dream big?

[ablewasi]

All are invited; byow.

What am I bringing my own of? Wine? Women? Wildebeests? Wabbits?

:-)

VP

"W" is for worry. BYOW is optional, really.    I belong to the Free Floating Anxiety of the Month Club.  I just got a case of fresh worries in today.  Mmm, can't wait.  I'm opening it now.  My, THAT'S a nice one...

[ablewasi]

You should really talk to Dr_evil ... either to collaborate on building the secret compound or to know how far his plans are along for utter world domination so that you have an idea of how much time you have left.

And that compound better have a moat!!

Who be this Dr_evil that I should tremble?  I fear no evil. Yea, if I walk in the shadow of a mountain of cash, the clods on my staff will comfort me.

The goldfish would love the moat.

I am Dr. Evil.  I already have the plans for your little fortress, and have developed a plan for invasion.  Even with the moat.  MUAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!  Goldfish?  I have sharks with laser beams in MY moat. ;)

Dr. Evil.  I am so glad to hear from you and to find out that you actually have plans for my fortress.  Up to now, I just been working from a set of drawings I have in my spiral notebook, but real PLANS, with measured stuff and little pictures showing where the doors are and where the refigerator goes would be great.  If you could scan them into a .pdf file and message them to me, that would be double great. I don't know about the whole invasion thing, though.  It sounds kind of "exercisey".

Also, thanks for the offer of the laser shark thingies, but my goldfish should be able to handle the security stuff.  They're small, but they're proud (and feisty).

All the best,

ablewasi

[doublemocha]

I'd give a big fat donation to my current campus, with the stipulation that they use it to build a new building and a parking structure. I'd stay long enough to oversee the project, insist they name the building after me (I'm thinking "Vader Hall" or "Anakin Annex") and put a big portrait of my namesake in the lobby, and then disappear. They'd spend the next 20 years discussing the weirdo who made them name the building that--nevermind that they got a building out of it. 

Too bad I live in a lottery-free zone...

[gennimom]

ablewasi, did you cross your goldfish with piranha?

[dr_evil]

Ablewasi,
Sadly, one of my minions spilled coffee all over the plans, so I can't scan them and the invasion is on hold.  Oh, well, Dr. Evil has a headache today, so it's not a good day for invading.

BTW, just what do you feed a goldfish/pirana crossbreed?

[prof_mom]

It is hard to get good minions these days. People said they wanted minions, but they didn't specify that they had to be good, so we get the "spilling coffee on your plans for invasion" kind of minions.

My minions aren't good either. They love me and worship everything I do (of course), but they just aren't very productive. Is there a minion training program I can enroll them in? It would be great if it included basics about caring for dry clean only clothes, picking the best vegetables in the grocery store and even scrap booking tips. These are the things I want my students minions to do. Oh, and I suppose there should be something about literature review and maybe data analysis.

[crazybatlady]

I need to teach my minions to cook vegetarian food.

Where is Trabb?  I keep waiting for it to chime in--I thought it was a vegan.  Where are your recipes, Trabb?  Oh Trabb?  Where are you?

[seventhyear]

Buy a house, invest for my future, make sure my parents' bills were all paid.

Set up a small endowment to fund my research at my SLAC.  Maybe buy myself a course release.

Then I'd ignore the asinine merit pay system.

[ablewasi]

The minions did it, eh. Prof Mom and Dr. E’l you seem like good folks so I’ll take your word for it, but really.  People are always blaming things on their minions.  “Oh, I’m sooo sorry.  My minions didn’t get your papers graded.”  “My minions think you have a really bad haircut.”  “No, of course I didn’t steal your sandwich.  It must have been my minions.”  At least you don’t appear to be physically abusing them.  Some people go so far as to flay minions!

Gennimom and D’E.  Yeah, they’re goldfish:piranha hybrids (not “crossbreeds”, if you don’t mind) – I wouldn’t really trust security to simple goldfish.  I’m not crazy. As to their diet, I can’t be too explicit but I have two fish now; I used to have eight.  So you see

… brrrrrrrrrrzzzzzzzzzzzzzaaaapppppp….

What did the flag say when the wind wrapped it around the flagpole? 
“Curses! Furled again”

… brrrrrrrrrrzzzzzzzzzzzzzaaaapppppp….


D*MN!  D*MN! D*MN!   There it goes AGAIN!!

I’m really sorry about that.  My laptop has some serious problems.

[gennimom]

Is it cannibalism if the fish eating each other are hybrids?

Anyway, my husband also has plans to send his parents on an around-the-country camping trip while we level their house and build an entirely new one for them. Of course, they would be camping in their brand new motorhome.