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[keystonegal]

I have been very concerned by a recent trend in the US to "red shirt" kindergartens.

If the children meet the age requirements and the school requirements (some schools have requirements like children knowing their phone number, letters etc., other schools have no requirements) they should be fine.

Will you decrease the probability of them obtaining a football scholarship to a Big Ten School? Do you care?

The only place to pay careful attention if they are going to be on the younger side is in introducing algebra early (e.g., in 8th grade). If you are going to err in an area on "holding them back" let them wait for algebra in 9th grade.

Good luck,

[anthroid]

Like j_source, I have an October birthday and was the youngest person in class pretty much all the time.  I also had a speech impediment (which I overcame by the time I was ten or so), glasses (blue cats-eyes with rhinestones, girls!), I was overweight by a bit, and I was smart.  Was I popular?  Nope (though of course I had friends, some of whom I still get to see now and then!).  (I was also almost always the new kid in class for various reasons--had to move schools 8 times K-12.)  Did I excel academically?  You bet.  I knew I was younger than most of my classmates but I always used the "considered" line--by April I was "considered" to have reached the next year (by April of the year I turned ten--in October--I would go around saying I was considered ten even though I actually was still nine).  And now, an undergraduate summa cum laude from an excellent SLAC, 2 master's degrees from R1s and a PhD from an R1, and chair of a large academic department.  Probably I turned out okay by most standards.

In short, OP, stop sweating it--you may be a little overprotective and perhaps overparenting just a little.  The challenge of being a little behind will probably be better for your boys than the complacency of being ahead.  Send them to kindergarten next year.  We're not exactly talking rocket science here; kindergarten remains a pretty benign place, IMHO.  Your concerns are very understandable; it seems, though, you're worrying about something that actually is relatively minor (again, IMHO--I know other posters have different views). 

[illini]

My October birthday daughter (December deadline) is a 15 year old junior at a competitive high school.  She is taking all honor and AP classes.  Despite this apparent success, the one thing both my husband and I would change is our decision to have her attend K as a 4 year old.  We debated about this issue but decided to send her.

We moved a few years later and she is really young. (September deadline here so kids her age are all a year behind in school).

My observations:  It didn't make much difference until middle school.  It matters, at least in our daughter's case, most socially.  Her closest friends outside of school are all her age mates, and thus behind her in school.  In camp with mixed age groups, she gravitated to her age mates and was a leader.  She does have friends in school but I have no doubt she would be much more of a leader had we held her back.

I think with boys, it is even more pronounced.

One thing to keep in mind, which we didn't understand with our first child, is how common it is for kids to wait these days.  If you send your children, they may be with kids at least a year older than them.

Frankly, sending her to school as a 4 year old is the parenting decision my husband and I both regret most.   Like you, the money for one more year of childcare was part of it.  She also was clearly too immature--she passed all the K screening just fine.

I don't know anyone who waited a year for K who regretted it.  I know several, like myself, who wish they had.  One neighbor ended up holding the child back (boy with late summer birthday and September 1 deadline) in third grade after years of barely making it.  They told me it was the best decision they had made and their only regret was that they had not waited initially.   He did better both academically and socially.   

[rowan1]

I think it is great the OP is asking for other's experiences, that will help her make the final choice with some information.  Parenting so often seems like guess work!

My son started his new preschool this past week (after a year of a truly horrible preschool), and loves it.  He is an Oct. boy and the cutoff here is Sept. 1.  I am relieved that he won't be starting kindergarten until next fall because he needs to mature a bit more emotionally.  He is already reading, fascinated with numbers, but he is not really ready for Kindergarten. The only disadvantage is that he is in preschool with a mixed age group of 3,4 and 5 year olds.  They do have special time for the "older" kids when the younger ones are napping.  He is going 3 full days a week and so far doesn't want to come home when it is time! 

My best friend just made the decision to keep her son in Kindergarten for an additional year, not because of his intelligence but because of his size, at 6 he is smaller then my almost 5 year old, (who is on the small side himself).

I tend to be someone who worries about pushing too hard and as a parent have to watch that tendency.  One of my son's playmates is going to preK all day at one of the local schools.  This kid is headed for greatness or psychosis, her mom is constantly trotting her out to show "look at how well she reads" "Elaine can add, show them honey"  "Show everyone how you can dance"  The poor kid is constantly on display and I think that she is going to the PreK program more to put her ahead then to really benefit her.  Her mom is one of the most competitive women I have ever met! On the other hand she is a really bright if somewhat spoiled kid!

What ever the reason for waiting or for sending them on, we each know our own kids, education isn't something that we need to race them through, graduating at 17, 18, or 19 won't make that big of a difference when they are 50, will it? 

We are lucky in that we can get into a lottery to place our kids in any of the elementary students we want, and we have a number of great choices.  I think this is the key - picking the right school as well as the right time. 

So OP - good luck, I certainly understand the financial considerations, but take the time to make this decision.  As I alluded to earlier, we changed preschools this year because we made a bad choice on where we sent our son.  And even though it was "just preschool" we will be working with his new teachers to undo some of the negatives that last year created.

[summers_off]

Speaking (writing?) as a person who was the second youngest in my class (December 31st was the cut-off where we lived when I was a child), I would hold them back.  Your kids are probably ready intellectually (I was), but it is the emotional side that really matters.  School is just as much social as it is intellectual, and you can't rush brain development (especially with boys).  This really matters in middle & high school when hormones are raging and peer pressure is intense.  Of course, this is just the anecdotal experience of one person, so take it or leave it.

However, there has been a lot of empirical work in this area (I'm not in education so I can't give you cites), perhaps you would feel better if you read a few studies.

[dragon_lady]

If you have a Montessori school nearby, they are grouped by age rather than grade, and will be in a mixed class with children older and younger; they can work at whatever level they are able, and the labeling of "kindergarten" might not even come on the radar... Montessori schools vary widely by price and quality, but if you have one close by, I would check it out. They are also more hands-on than most traditional classrooms, and might be something worth considering.

[gennimom]

Having a June birthday myself and having grown up in a time when kindergarten wasn't required, I started first grade cold. I stayed at home with my mother until time to start school and I wasn't taught to read or anything. Funny though. I don't remember learning how to read, just one day being able to do it. I didn't stay in the children's section of the library very long. I had to ask permission to go to the adult section. I don't think a lack of kindergarten hurt me in the long run, so I guess I don't understand the importance of it in the first place. I'm not all that worried about my daughter when it comes time for her to go. Since I have no idea where we'll be living at that time, we'll just have to play it by ear ourselves. However, I do know that my husband plans to start teaching my daughter things early. We'll see how that goes...