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[milou]

I am not dreading the start of classes in terms of teaching. I like teaching.  I am dreading the separation from my family, having been together all summer. For those of us with long commutes the beginning of hte school year means the beginning of a fractured family life. Still, I am lucky that my commute is shorter than many. I am going to take a train this year instead of driving, meaning I can work on the way to work.

I just got in the groove of writing after a hard first year-- getting used to my separation. Now I want to see if I can keep that up along with a hard travel schedule.


                                                            Commuter

[humanitiesanon]

Thanks for the advice lucilla.  I try to protect my time with a smile and an air of calm entitlement, but I fear for my job if anyone finds out how ill I am.  I also hurt a lot most of the time, and it takes a lot of energy (both physical and mental) to pretend I do not hurt.

At least the weekend is here and I can sleep late and try to get caught up on things.

[lucilla]

It sounds very, very difficult. When I had a serious illness a few years back, and had to come back to work while still feeling ill because my family really depended on the money, that stress of passing as well was huge. However, I think that regardless of how accepting my colleagues were on the surface, and all of them were as nice as you could be, there was an inherent tendency toward bias against me when I seemed as sick as I was. The down side of passing as well, of course, was that if I seemed weller than I was everyone was ready to make the usual demands. The weekends are great, but sometimes by the time you get there you're beyond tired (and, as in having held off too long before taking pain meds, you end up really really paying for it, no?). If you can, try to find ways to insert a little 20-minute feeling of weekend into the week. Shut and lock your door and put your feet up on your desk. Tuck a pillow into your desk so you can get really relaxed for a while. Or, go nap in the car (turned off of course!) in a calm safe place for 20 min. It's so great that cell phones have alarm clocks on them...I am well now but I still rely on those power naps. Oh, and a chocolate drawer is helpful too;)  all the best to you---you are not alone even if it feels like it sometimes.