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[sand9417]

Since I defended my dissertation, I've been feeling somewhat down and lost. Seemingly everything in life that I have been working for (my degree, a tenure track job, a new home) are finally mine, and yet I can't seem to kick the blues. I spent the last four years of my life focused on my dissertation, and now that I have time and energy for myself, I'm realizing that I no longer have any idea what I like to do for fun. I have grown out of many of the activities I used to do before grad school, or maybe they just seem less appealing now because I got married in the interim. Many of my old friends and I grew apart while I was spending all day every day holed up in my office writing, and now I have moved to a new area to start a job so I don't have an established social circle. I thought finishing my dissertation would finally free me to enjoy my life again, but I'm left feeling unsure of who I am, what I like to do, and isolated. Have any others had this experience, and if so, how did you deal with it?

[newbie]

I had some feelings like that after my dissertation was finished, and I also have feelings like that now that I'm working on the tt. For years, so much of my time and mental energy was devoted to work, and I could probably continue to do that now. But I am feeling a bit burnt out, and I know I need to get a few more things in my life besides work.

I don't really have any advice except to start exploring to see what interests you, and to make sure to give yourself time. You've been through a lot of stress for a long time, and meeting new friends and finding enjoyable hobbies takes time.

Good luck!

[sueenglish]

The dissertation does take so much energy that it is common to feel this way. I recall very well the anti-climax. I had landed a job two years into my PhD (in the UK) and thus had to juggle teaching, publishing while finishing. For a year I had no room at all for anything else.

It is crucial that you don't suffer burn-out at this stage. I have seen too many good people in terrible trouble with stress - it is as if once it's all done and dusted the many coping mechanisms you have had to draw on start to flounder a bit. If you can, try to find some way of relaxing. This will depend on what you enjoy/used to enjoy, but even simple things like swimming or walking can help - I used to hate tearing myself away from my work but I learnt to do it to avoid stress. This way I am very productive in my writing and teaching - I give it fair time without allowing it to dominate my whole thinking. 

As for developing social circles, this will take time, but again, I have found that having friends outside of academia is wonderful. They have a different perspective, talk about other things and my own approach to life has been changed by this. . To be fair, I made many of these friends while pregnant and attending ante-natal classes, but you might find you can meet people. Perhaps make a list of things you might be interested in trying - or even not sure about and give it a shot.

good luck - and don't become too isolated! Hey post here for chats to help.

[profgirl]

I understand your feelings, and I have had similar ones as well.  I just graduated in May with the phd, and for me it is also a bit of an identity crisis because I have literally been in school my entire life with no break between undergrad and grad school.  My only suggestions are to really force yourself to find things that you are interested in outside of work and make yourself go do those things.  I have been reading, going to the gym, and listening to music a lot and playing golf and stuff, but sometimes I have to make myself set aside time for that stuff or I'll just keep working on lecture notes or articles I need to try and revise.  I hope that you feel better, and try to congratulate yourself on all you've accomplished!!  Also, remember your feelings (at least in my opinion) are very normal.

[iomhaigh]

I have been told by many trusted advisors that the crash that you describe will be coming soon (after defending, moving to tt, etc.) -- and pieces already have (what do I do for fun?  My hobbies became my job....doh!). 

So, this is little more than an echo that yes, this seems to be an expected part of the process. 

Good luck exploring the person into whom you have grown!

[newttprof]

I've experienced the same issues after I completed my degree - and after starting a TT job. The hobby interest advice is good...make it OUTSIDE of academia. I found collaborating with other folks on projects - small doable projects - very satisfying after being buried and isolated in the diss for so long. Once the degree becomes more of "who you are" rather than "what you've done" you'll settle into a different rhythm. For me it was year 2 of my TT job - after my first "real" summer off. Force yourself to have fun over the summer...you earned it. Best wishes for the fall...

[realfrancie]

OP, I sympathize.  Because I managed to drag out the process of writing the dang dissertation for so long, too long, I realized upon finishing that a large part of my identity was actually tied to "not being done with the Ph.D."  Maybe I just liked thinking of myself as an ever-youthful grad student (Ha!  If only!) so I guess I have a sort of Peter Pan problem. 

I like what another poster has said, that eventually the Ph.D. becomes less of "who you are" and more of "what you've done."  It does take some time to adjust, though.  Just know that many others have experienced what you are going through.

Congratulations on finishing, and best wishes in your new job!

[velvetelvis]

Dear OP,

This happens with a lot of milestones.  My guess is taht once the school year starts and you're riding the learning curve in your new job, you'll find the goal of tenure will replace the goal of finishing the diss.  But once you get tenure, you can expect another bout until you choose another challenge.

VE.

[untenured]

Perhaps there is an analogy to post-partum depression.  Instead of child, you birthed a thesis.   I bet your gestation period was alot longer than nine months.

It's time to rediscover activities in life that once made you happy in a pre-graduate world long ago.  Take a break.  You deserve it.

Untenured

[realfrancie]

Perhaps there is an analogy to post-partum depression.  Instead of child, you birthed a thesis.   I bet your gestation period was a lot longer than nine months.

That is a good analogy, Untenured.  In fact, I experienced more weirdness and depression after finishing the diss than I did after the birth of either of my two kids.  I'm thinking maybe it's because a 400+ page thesis is not at all cute and cuddly, plus you can't breastfeed it.  :)

[_mara_]

I can totally relate to this...the same thing happened to me. I always thought there needed to be some sort of de-institutionalism program to help ease new Ph.D.s back into society, much like they try to do with prisoners. :) In any case, relax, celebrate, and give yourself some time. This, too, shall pass.

[summers_off]

I can't remember if it was my husband or a colleague who jokingly named what I was feeling "Post Dissertation Stress Disorder" but it seems to fit.  I think PDSD is real & can be debilitating (perhaps this could be some future psych student's dissertation?!?). 

I too felt blue, uninterested in old activities and a bit numb inside.  I also felt cut off from my non-academic friends who moved on while I was researching & writing.  Interestingly, I also had trouble spending money...I was so used to counting every penny that I couldn't seem to buy things even though I could well afford them.

I think another part of the problem is that your support network of fellow Ph.D. students have all scattered to the four winds as they take up their new positions.

The usual cast of characters would probably help:  connecting with old friends, reaching out to new ones, volunteering, exercising regularly, eating right, getting some sunshine every day.  However, if PDSD lasts too much longer, you may want to see a therapist.