Notaprof: Your advice belongs somewhere in Kissyface College. Maybe a course on "Obvious Stuff" or "The Difference between Metaphor and Reality," or something. But funnier, of course. Your post IS funny.
That was funny, but only because I can imagine some people actually putting the $$ in bags. I would add that "if you offend people, or try too hard, it's probably not going to be funny"
I was sorry to see the KFC major list take a serious turn. I was enjoying the much needed light stuff.