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[_mara_]

Any one else out there living in limbo?

My situation is this: I have been on my campus (a regional of a R1) for four years. Tenure appears to be certain; I love my research and teaching my students. I live in a gorgeous (albeit, expensive) small city in the Southeast. However, I hate my job and cannot wait to leave.

Yes, I have focused on my publications and presentations and guest lectures. I have gotten one small grant and have another in progress. If I may toot my horn for a moment, my CV looks pretty good. However, I have realized that this isn't enough and that my work environment is one of the most toxic I have ever encountered.

The toxicity extends far beyond quirky personalities and silly committees. Heck, I almost enjoy dealing with those. Rather, the environment on my campus is more than corrupt and I frequently read the local paper, half expecting mug shots of the admin to grace the pages.

The sexism and racism are extraordinary. We have two faculty of color on my campus (I am not one of them) and when they were hired, the dean expected to be given some kind of award. Sexual harassment and inappropriate comments (admin-faculty or senior faculty-junior faculty) is commonplace. Admin, in their attempt to divide and conquer, pit faculty against one another...so much so that few faculty communicate/socialize anymore. Faculty meetings are nonexistent, as faculty refuse to show up. As a bottom-heavy campus with few tenured folk, this is our way of rebelling. The tenured folk are either cowards or paid off (think fixed teaching awards and monetary "incentives"). Research assignments are given to admin faves-the same faves who publish little but speak as if they do. Unethical behavior is both rewarded and cultivated.

Many faculty have left and I feel this kind of dread as if I am on a sinking ship. The ones that stay are the ones that have no other place to go. Hopefully, I am not one of those people. Every week, I peruse the ads in my field (social sciences), wondering what positions will open up and where my life will be one year from today.

My community is beautiful and I have a life outside the university. However, I hesitate to make new connections or stenghthen the ones I have, knowing that (hopefully) my life will be elsewhere soon enough.

As a career-oriented person, most of my friends are in academia. However, I have no friends on my campus (and neither does anyone else, for that matter). Anytime admin sees people becoming close, they slander them to one another until they stop speaking. Or admin gives one person a monetary "incentive" for no reason, knowing it will cause a rift and the friendship will end. Crazy.

I put a lot of stock in the job-as so many others on my campus have done-and I hate to see all my hard work and investment of time go down the drain. I also hate seeing a situation with absolutely no accountibility. However, I know that I can't change my situation and that leaving is the right thing to do. I hope to eventually look at my time spent here as a life lesson and not a waste.

Just venting-thank you for listening.

Trix

[plainjane]

Dear Trixie,
My condolences; it sounds like you're in a very unpleasant situation. I know you said you were just venting, but it seems that by venting in semi-public, you're indicating that advice might at least not be unwelcome. So here goes:

You didn't exist whether your limbo has a time-limit; are you waiting for tenure before jumping ship? If so, you have three years left, yes? For me, a specific time-limit would be very helpful in your situation. The main point I'd want to make here is that you might consider embracing your non-campus friends/ life even though you'll be leaving in a few years. Think of it like grad school -- I, for one, had a pretty miserable time with my program, but I also made some wonderful friends and did some good work (volunteering, activism, etc.) Even though it was only for five years, I wouldn't have missed these experiences, and though I miss my friends, I'm glad I met them and grew close to them.

My take on time-limited situations is that it's like renting a house. When renting, you can choose to make little investment in the space, since it's impermanent. However, this results in spending a lot of your life in spaces that don't really feel like home. You can choose instead to invest yourself in the space, knowing that you'll eventually have to leave, but preferring the wrench at parting to several years of anomic discomfort. Not to get all deep and philosophical here, but life is short; allowing yourself to invest in the community you're a part of now might, I suspect, make the time you have left more pleasant.

Best luck --
pj

[case_insensitive]

Any one else out there living in limbo?

My situation is this: I have been on my campus (a regional of a R1) for four years. Tenure appears to be certain; I love my research and teaching my students. I live in a gorgeous (albeit, expensive) small city in the Southeast. However, I hate my job and cannot wait to leave.

I was in just this situation, only I was tenured.  I went on the market and found a better paying job in a bigger city where I believe my research and teaching will be appreciated.  My life here outside of work was great, but having a career that isn't fulfilling - not because of the career choice but because of the place - wasn't a good long term position to be in so I made a change.  You can, too.

Good luck!

[zenprof]

Any one else out there living in limbo?

My situation is this: I have been on my campus (a regional of a R1) for four years. Tenure appears to be certain; I love my research and teaching my students. I live in a gorgeous (albeit, expensive) small city in the Southeast. However, I hate my job and cannot wait to leave.
[deletions]
Many faculty have left and I feel this kind of dread as if I am on a sinking ship. The ones that stay are the ones that have no other place to go. Hopefully, I am not one of those people. Every week, I peruse the ads in my field (social sciences), wondering what positions will open up and where my life will be one year from today.

My community is beautiful and I have a life outside the university. However, I hesitate to make new connections or stenghthen the ones I have, knowing that (hopefully) my life will be elsewhere soon enough.
[deletions]
I hate to see all my hard work and investment of time go down the drain. I also hate seeing a situation with absolutely no accountibility. However, I know that I can't change my situation and that leaving is the right thing to do. I hope to eventually look at my time spent here as a life lesson and not a waste.

Just venting-thank you for listening.

Trix

Hi, Trixie B.; I asked Honey Wheeler and she said she thinks you are exactly right to leave (Diana of the violet eyes nods quietly).  I agree too; the real question is getting your head around it: how  to be in but not of the place.  I like the previous poster's analogy of renting an apt---you'll mow the yard, but you won't plant expensive perennials.  You'll make curtains for the place that you can take with you.  But you won't install hardwoord floors.

In other words, keep your eye on your own portable goods, on your own CV and mobility. Spend more time networking outside the school and in your wider field (that means more conferences, more publications, and so on) and as little energy as you can on internal matters. Maybe the poisons of the place will even get to you less if your real focus is outside and on portability. And think hard about whether it is easier in your field to move before or after tenure. In my humanities field it is exponentially harder to move afer tenure; the ideal moment is at mid-to-senior Asst Prof, when you've got a book but aren't yet tenured. Figure out when the golden moment is, or the better moment, to move in your field, and set yourself up to move then.  

Look, there are many, many nice towns to live in, and they don't all necessitate living in a toxic and unethical workplace. I got out of mine after tenure (extremely lucky appointment to a senior post in my precise field of specialty; leaving in December---cannot believe how much happier I am already, just knowing I'm leaving---what a burden lifted! I had no idea how badly it was bringing me down, so i really sympathize with you and encourage you to leave as soon as you possibly can). Good luck, stay steady, stay focused on the good, and most of all, stay below the bad radar that's in place all around you there.
z

[_mara_]

My thanks to everyone for their advice. It also tickles me pink to find other Bob-White fans (a Trixie B. inside joke) in academia. :)

[pembleton]

Trixie:

Your situation is not uncommon --- the institution I just left has departments with strategic plans to keep faculty turnover below 20% per year. Regrettably, many people take jobs at institutions they later learn are irreparably and terminally dysfunctional. So you are not alone!

The biggest mistake that you can make is to have your concerns about being on the market thwarted by some sense of loyalty. It doesn't sound like your present employer deserves it. Does it stink to be planning to be a short-timer? Sure. But, let's be honest. The problems that you are mentioning are equilibria. They are not going away.

[from_my_sunny_isle]

As a student in a program with a similarly dysfunctional faculty and administration, it saddens me to hear that the situation is not unique.  It is unfornate because most faculty do not realize that their students are not oblivious.  The unmotivated students continue to produce substandard work because their professors do not present themselves as positive role models that encourage achievement.  The motivated students learn to keep their extracurricular accomplishments to themselves in fear of being drawn in to departmental politics.  Finally, the sharpest students do what you aim to...gather their courage and jump ship.