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Mouse
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« Reply #30 on: December 15, 2005, 02:41:59 PM » |
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My dad, a military guy, doesn't understand why I don't just "put in a request for a transfer" if there's a certain position I'm interested in. Hey, if your dream is to teach at Harvard, just put in for a transfer! We also had the following brilliant conversation when my husband and I moved across the country for grad school:
"Why don't you just get your PhD here, where you did your undergrad?"
"Because they don't have a PhD program in my area, Dad."
"Well then, why don't you just get a PhD in whatever they do have a program in, but when you go on the job market, you can just explain that even though you have a degree in X, what you really want to teach is Y."
I can see it now..."While it's true that my degree in in Victorian Literature, what I really want to do is perform brain surgery. But don't worry...I've read a lot about it, and I watch a lot of the shows on the Discovery Health channel..."
Maybe all those "not remotely related to the advertised position" job applicants are taking advice from my dad--
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FiG
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« Reply #31 on: December 15, 2005, 03:14:30 PM » |
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I love this idea!!!! Do you think we could get it implemented? And make it international? Or do you think logistically it needs to be limited to unis in the same country? Or should it just remain in-house? I could change my office ...
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Anxious JS
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« Reply #32 on: December 15, 2005, 03:18:21 PM » |
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These posts are great! Always nice to know lots of people are in the same (leaky) boat. My in-laws think we should just find a nice place to live (i.e., their town) and "just wait for something to open up" there for me, while my husband works. I love the idea of waiting for some old geezer to retire or die. In the meantime, I could be a stay-at-home mom! Which must be my real goal - they can't remotely understand why I would want to work if I don't have to. Yeah, the phd and postdoc were just a way to kill some time and accumulate massive debt until we could move "back home." My brother-in-law suggests that I apply my background (a quantitative social science) to something in the medical field (without realizing that a) people get phds in biostatistics, epidemiology, public health, etc., who are infinitely more qualifed and b) I don't wanna (If I wanted to go into the medical field, I would have been one of those people getting a phd in biostatistics, epidemiology, etc.) My parents and I, on the other hand, have the perfect approach: we just don't talk about it. They don't have a clue what it is I do all day long, but they respect it and my decisions, and figure when something important happens, I'll let them know.
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Schoolmarm
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« Reply #33 on: December 15, 2005, 03:48:14 PM » |
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My mother would only be happy if I taught at the local grain elevator near their house. Some things I've done to help Mom "get" academia.....
Got my first TT job 14 hours drive away. Now that I'm 4 hours away, she is very happy.
Kept telling her that there are many states where there are only about 5 jobs for me in the whole state.
Talked about my friends who are dual-career academics and live in adjoining states "Oh, they are so lucky that they are that close....they could be three or four time-zones apart."
Mom had problems with my research and conference travel. "But does EVERYONE do that much?" "Only those who want to KEEP their jobs, Mom!"
The whole family doesn't "get" the fact that when you are running on the tenure track at an R1, you really don't have much "time off". Took the laptop on a family vacation and irritated my brother so much it came to blows. "Why don't you just relax and have vacation?" "Well, I'd like to KEEP my job....just because it's a day with no students does not really mean that I have the time off." I just kept editing while it was raining and everyone was couped up in a cabin.
My Dad came to the rescue (he's an "I'm-NOT-working-on-the-railroad engineer) when he finally told my Mom that the state university 45 minutes from their home is, well, "crappy". And that they had a "crappy" department in my field. I think Dad's words were "Why would she give up a good job at a good university to teach in that crappy department."
When the family really gets out of line I just remind them that my other R1 job offer was in New York City. NYC is not close to where any of them live.
I have had Mom "proofread" some of my articles, my dissertation and my vita. She is pretty good at catching punctuation mistakes. It makes her feel good to help and this also helps her kind of understand what I do. She is also pretty good at transcribing interview tapes.
Oh, my favorite "Momism" was her disbelief that I have now taken not one, but two, pay cuts to get a better job. Of course, my teaching load is greatly reduced and the research expectations are much higher. I have made up for the ding in salary with research support. She thinks that I should have stayed in the public schools.
STILL, I needed help with explaining why I was using my whole Thanksgiving break at two different archives and doing a consultation. It was especially hard when I called them to delay my visit with them by a day because I had found a gold mine in an archive in a neighboring state.
One of the best things I did was to take Mom with me to a conference. She had experienced the topic first-hand and I thought that she would enjoy it. It really opened her eyes. I had two presentations. On the drive up, I bemoaned the fact that there wasn't a keynote speaker that year. I always enjoyed listening to the famous person's keynote address. Well, we got to the conference and "I" was the keynote speaker. They didn't even tell me! I thought it was a little strange that one of my sessions was for the whole conference! So now Mom teases me that "I" was the famous person. At least she saw how much respect I get from others in my profession.
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boz
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« Reply #34 on: December 15, 2005, 04:32:12 PM » |
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Who was that linguist who wrote that her mother used to introduce her to folks back home by saying, "This is my daughter Suzy Q--she's a doctor, but not one of those who helps people"?
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same boat
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« Reply #35 on: December 15, 2005, 05:50:42 PM » |
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Yep, how often have I heard my mom-in-law suggest that we should just move to where my husband (her son) can find a job and then wait until something opens up for me in the region. This ended when I asked my husband tell her that it would make more sense for me to take a job and him to "wait and see" because I made twice as much as him:)
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Puck
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« Reply #36 on: December 16, 2005, 01:51:41 PM » |
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of course that might send you stark-raving mad---but you've gotta pick your in-laws with care
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Artsearch
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« Reply #37 on: December 16, 2005, 04:15:18 PM » |
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For me, it's the distant relatives (hardly ever seen) who are the worst for asking "too many" questions. I stopped attending family reunions. Another reason to stay home is, if you aren't there, they won't all think you should be the one to administer mouth-to-mouth to whatever unfortunate medical victim who needs resuscitating.
***
Tangential "Asst. Prof." tale:
When I taught at Tiny Liberal Arts College in Tinytown, the scarcely competent local tax assessor interpreted my official profession as "teacher's aide". Who was I to argue?
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