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[Tippy]

It's that time again...our departmental lab party that we have for our RAs at the end of the year. This year, the university is coughing up the money and our secretary is going to the local grocery store for food platters, etc.

This year, the faculty (and students) have decided to bring their own alcohol. Everyone has volunteered to bring something/help set up...except our narcissistic colleague, "Flanders."

Now, as some of you might remember, Flanders has a history of stealing university furniture, supplies, and (it's suspected) outgoing mail. He is gone from our campus to weeks out of the month, but expects everyone to not only accomodate but anticipate his every whim. No, I am not a troll...please see my previous posts for more info. He was terminated from his position as "liasion" but still continues to hold an untenured (but tenure-track) position. Ever since he was hired, students have complained, faculty have complained...and he has been a royal pain in our sides. I digress.

At the last RA party, everyone contributed equally...but he took all (and I do mean all) of the leftovers home. He does the same thing at group dinners at restaurants. One would think that he would be too embarassed to do so...but no. He asks no one, picks everything up, and disappears.

This time, I am determined that things will be different. The only thing is, I don't know how to do so without being too kind/too rude. It's hard to find the balance...but I am determined to put a stop to this nonsense. It looks terrible in front of students, it isn't fair...and I want some leftovers, dammit! Advice, please?

[anon]

How about buying less food so there are no/fewer leftovers?

PS: I don't get the story about dinners out.  He walks off with other people doggie bags?  Why do they allow that?

PPS:  If/when he does take leftovers, etc., make a "joking" comment about "the seagull."

[rattus domesticus]

You could be VERY petty and ask people to leave balled up napkins and cigarette butts on their half-empty plates. Of course if you mean the leftovers of common dishes that other people have left, I'm not sure what to do. Can anyone beat them to the pile? Can the original owners of dishes swipe them up before the old-guy... while mumbling something about getting their dish back? If it's a restaurant type deal, can guests ask staff to "wrap up what's left of that salmon" for them before old-guy gets around?

I don't know... he just sounds unbalanced!

[anon99]

Is it possible to send out a mass email suggesting that any leftovers can be taken home by grad students?  Once people seem to have finished with the food, and before "Flanders" dives in, have a volunteer pack up the goodies and distribute them into containers for the students.

[anon]

If you must have leftovers, and they are substantial, see is there are local charities or churches that will take the extra food.

[Anon]

You can have booze in your lab? Our state has a strict law about alcohol on state properties, including public university campuses. Grounds for immediate disciplinary action or even dismissal if caught. We can't even have a glass of champagne if a colleague retires. Where do you work?

[Tippy]

I work on a regional campus of a large R1 university. We always have alcohol at university celebrations. My colleague suggested the idea and, although I'm not a big drinker, agreed to bring a light beer that I enjoy. (Read: I plan on taking what's left over home for the holidays).

To clarify, Flanders took ALL of the pizza, soda, chips, and veggie tray home with him. At restaurants, he will take the leftover bread from the basket home, as well as anything on people's plates that is left over(gross, I know).

[snippet]

I would also suggest being direct.  Don't try to spare the feelings of a person who may not ever understand comments or suggestions that are not very clear, specific, and addressed to him individually.  You think you're  being polite; he doesn't even realize you're talking to him.
So, you can just walk right up to him and give him a speech: " I know that you are usually very efficient about clearing up the leftovers.  I appreciate that, but some people take it the wrong way.  This time, the faculty have agreed to let everyone take some leftovers home with them, if they wish.  I have talked this over with both faculty and grad students. Everyone will be taking one or two items, and you should, of course, feel welcome to take one or two items yourself, but please only after x o'clock, when the party is over."
Don't worry about repeating yourself.  Don't worry about being overly specific and prohibitive.  He is not getting the subtle messages that people are sending him ("Boy, I guess you like bread!  I've never liked it so much that I stuffed my pockets with it!").  Try non-subtle.  
And then go home and make yourself a nice hot-toddy with that leftover whiskey!

[melba]

Your alcoholic contribution should be a champagne fountain. I'd like to see Flanders slip that into his brief case.

But seriously, bring large ziplock bags and distribute them to students at the end of the party, suggesting they take the leftovers.

[Ms. Collegiality]

If Flanders were on my staff, and I had some clout (so not you, Tippy, but your senior colleague), I'd take him aside and say, "Several colleagues have noticed that you make a dive for the leftovers.  What's going on?"

But then--from your previous post--I know what's going on.  His spouse lives elsewhere.  He's spending all of his money going to see her.  And it sounds like he doesn't do well faring for himself in the kitchen.  Boy, he sounds like a sad case.  He's going to bury himself without anyone saying anything.

It sounds like he needs a friend more than anything else.  I'm just the sort of person that would befriend him and spend the next several years kicking myself and wondering how to extricate myself, so no, I'm not suggesting that you do it.

[slac vap]

In my former department, the secretary always bundled up the leftovers and took them back to her office, so all could share over the course of the next few days as we were finishing exams and grading.  If you have a secretary who is reasonably assertive and a friend, you could ask him or her to take on this task.  Of course, I also like the idea of taking leftovers to a soup kitchen or shelter (except the alcohol, of course).  Someone could make this announcement early and often during the potluck.

As far as taking leftovers off people's plates at restaurants- if he tried that with me, he would likely get jabbed in the hand with a fork.  (oops-a-daisy!)

[%sig%]

[science person]

Are you sure "Flanders" doesn't have Asperger's syndrome or something. If so, being extremely direct with him may be the only way to address the problem and he won't take offense in the least.

[Dr. D.]

In my department the students get first dibs at the leftover food.

[another anon]

We had a junior colleague who brazenly claimed that as the only one without tenure she got to take the leftovers from dept parties... Many times she then gave them to the students - as a gift from her.  This got to be pretty irritating, especially hearing students thank her for the dish I made!

Finally, during one post-party cleanup two of us discussed loudly how great it was that the students were going to have such lovely leftovers to help them through studying for finals.  When piggy person started shoveling leftovers into her baggies (yes, she brought them with her), I just took the full ones out of her hand and thanked her for for packing them for the students.  The other person with me explained that of course the leftovers were for the students - it's dept tradition.  We then had the dept secretary put out the leftovers in her office.  If there's any question about where the food comes from, the dept or the secretary gets the "credit".