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[jetsetter]

A senior member of my current department is freaking me out with what I think is totally inappropriate behaviour. He recently put a pornographic screen saver on our administrator's PC without telling her, so he could watch her reaction when she arrived for work. He makes sexually explicit comments in meetings, and also makes graphic comments about his visits to the toilet. This all seems to be directed towards female faculty and staff members, and makes those targeted (including me) obviously uncomfortable.

I've tried talking to other colleagues about his behaviour, but I'm either told that he's only joking and that I shouldn't take it personally, or it's acknowledged that he is "odd", but that there's a nice person underneath and his behaviour "doesn't really" bother people. I am finding it harder and harder not to react to him and to keep my temper - but I am worried about causing a major upheaval in the department if I try to express my concerns more formally.

I am looking for another job; my current research fellowship ends next year (thankfully he will not be writing me any references). I'd appreciate any advice on what to do.

[bb]

troll

[Aer]

Why on earth would you call this person a troll???  It seems like a pretty big concern.  Honestly, half the people posting "troll" are the ones with the trollish behavior.

Jetsetter, that would really bother me too.  How do you think the chair of your dept would react if you talked to him/her about it?

[Pecos]

That behavior is illegal.  If you tell your chair, he/she has the legal responsibility to follow through.  You can also tell HR, which has the legal responsibility to follow through (investigate), and you are not required to identify yourself.

[Not a troll!]

I think this guy works in my department (except we don't have anyone here on a research fellowship).  It's just disgusting and no one with tenure seems remotely bothered by it.

[anon]

Either the originator of this thread is a troll, or the colleague has a personality disorder or some other form of psychopathology.  I suspect the former.

[jetsetter]

No trolliness intended - I only posted this message because I genuinely want advice on a very difficult situation.

I am not sure how the HoD would respond. He has objected to this person's behaviour once himself in a meeting, but not in a way that inspired much confidence (I quote: "You mustn't tease the girls like that.").

Given the size of the institution it's impossible to make any complaint anonymously. Plus there's insufficient evidence: all the behaviour (barring the screensaver incident) could be explained away as oversensitivity or misunderstanding on my part, and I doubt colleagues would support a complaint. Their general attitude seems to be to pretend that there isn't a problem.

I really feel the behaviour is wrong, but I feel as if there is very little that can be done - even confronting the person and making it clear that the behaviour is inappropriate is unlikely to have much positive effect.

[Mendel]

bb wrote:

> troll


Not necessarily- I once worked in a company with a Nobel Laureate who had a pornographic screen saver and sexually explicit framed photos.  We were expected to tolerate this behavior because of this individual's reputation.  Eventaully, though, this person was asked to leave, but for those reasons.


Not much advice except to speak to the HR rep, who then is obligated to investigate.  I wanted to lend my opinion that these incidents do really happen.

[i agree]

obvious troll

[anon2]

Talk to HR and document everything.  His behavior is illegal and you don't have to tolerate it.

[Some posters are crazy]

First, I can't believe people are responding 'troll'. Hasn't anyone worked in more than one workplace? This has happened before in many workplace environments.

To Jetsetter - I would report it to human resources. This is illegal. You may not want to do that before you leave. I know a work colleague who reported similar incidents. She left with great reviews but they would rehire her years later and cited that the person was a 'trouble maker'. Surprising, since the real troublel maker should have been theh one doing the harassing, not the ones who reported it.

[mouse]

I worked with people just like this when I was in graduate school.  I guess I was lucky that it didn't bother me at all.  In my specific case I knew that the 2 guys involved really WERE good people, that they really were NOT trying to be hostile, and that they weren't targeting any specific woman.  They were just a couple of grown-up frat boys setting each other on, having a good time, and totally clueless that someone else might take it differently.  It actually WAS kind of funny, in a juvenile way.  

So my only advice to you -- and I know it isn't satisfying -- is to relax as much as you can.  This guy may or may not be nice but odd.  Whichever, he is staying and you are leaving, which means he is somebody else's problem.  Just don't take it personally, don't let it get to you, don't let it affect your work, and try to see the funny side -- come on, a senior pro who still thinks potty humor is a riot?  That IS funny.

[k16]

We should probably make a new rule in here that people ought not be allowed to post posts that are just unsubstantiated allegations of another poster's supposed trollness.

[assuming its true]

Let's assume you're not a troll.

Yes, the behavior is bad and probably illegal in the PC world that we live in.  Yes, you can report this and file all kinds of complaints with HR,  NOW, the ACLU and the UN and whoever else monitors this kind of thing.  If that's really the road you want to go down, go for it.

Now for the real world:  grow up, get some thicker skin, ignore this childish behavior, and figure out why you feel the need to be the savior of the world by reporting this.  You'll be labeled a tattle-tale, rat, pain in the rear, and your admins won't take kindly to you initiating a federal case because of one jerk.

[To k16]

Art thou a troll?

[%sig%]