|
Tired
Guest
|
 |
« on: November 22, 2005, 04:14:50 PM » |
|
It never fails. My sister-in-law always decides to pop in for a visit during the first week of school or exam week. It's almost Thanksgiving, exams are coming up, and now I'm going to have house guests! Initally, she was coming into town to go to a conference and stay in a hotel. Now, the conference is out, and she's bringing my father in law too! I can't imagine coming home to company after a long day of final critiques. I wish I could go to a hotel! Anyone feel my pain?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
anon
Guest
|
|
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2005, 05:12:39 PM » |
|
Oh yes; I am sorry you are in this position. When my mother suddenly announced to my husband and me that she was coming through our city for three days which coincided with my graduate (16 hours) written comprehensives, I told her she would have to change the dates of her visit, that I was going to be taking my comps, and I would not be able to see her until the day after they were over. I told her if she wanted to come to the city, that was fine, but I would not be able to see her until the day after my comps were over.
What made it worse was my father had died only 6 months before this and I felt like monster for telling her that. But she changed the dates of her visit.
This is a perennial problem. It seems like women academics are beset by it more than men, perhaps.
Is there some way you could tell your guests that it is a difficult time for a visit, and they will have to be understanding because you are going through student critiques, etc. etc.? You might be able to frame it in terms of something like, "I really want to be able to enjoy your visit, but you will have to bear with me because this is a particularly stressful time of the semester"?
[%sig%]
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
yet anon
Guest
|
|
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2005, 05:50:47 PM » |
|
Just state clearly what you can do! Years ago my brother in law insisted that we could write out my father in law's holiday cards (he'd had a stroke) since we weren't "working" over the holiday. We each had over 100 exams to grade - and we simply, and clearly declined. He was peeved, but there you have it.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Collegiality
Guest
|
|
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2005, 05:55:57 PM » |
|
I am feeling a little sad because my eagerly anticipated house guest, my very best friend for 25 years, has just called and cancelled her Thanksgiving visit--too far to drive, she says. I haven't seen her in six months and we rarely get more than a day or two together a year. Now all the plans I had made for hiking, going out to restaurants, exploring the downtown of my new town, etc., feel rather empty.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
anon
Guest
|
|
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2005, 05:59:49 PM » |
|
To Tired:
Just last night my 85-year-old aunt called me long distance. I have not seen her in person or heard her voice since 1994, when she came to my parents' hometown when my father was in the hospital dying.
It occurred to me after reading and replying to your original post that hearing her voice recalled my childhood. (I was around my aunts fairly frequently as a young child, and also, both of my dad's sisters sound in some ways like their mother --my grandmother-- who died when I was a teenager.) So, perhaps the holiday hassle might be worth it at some level -- if you can make it clear that you might not be able to be the "hostess with the mostest."
Good luck, and best wishes for much holiday and end-of-semester energy.
[%sig%]
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Art Historian
Guest
|
|
« Reply #5 on: November 23, 2005, 05:04:02 PM » |
|
Ms. Collegiality wrote:
> guest, my very best friend for 25 years, has just called and
> cancelled her Thanksgiving visit
Sorry to hear this, Ms. C. Hang in there.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
