COLLOQUY

I have had students leave for 15-20 minutes during an exam after coming in 20 minutes late. When they receive an "F" for a one paragraph essay (class length is 75 minutes), they get all upset and want me to give them extra work so they might make up their poor grades. Others leave in the middle of class and return from the cafeteria 20 minutes later with a beverage and a danish! I can only imagine their honeymoons: in the midst of "the act" one will light out to call Dominos for a pizza and then return to the act as if nothing is wrong with this picture.

Nowadays I admire the "toadies" who -- at least -- have the common sense to try to butter you up, compliment you, or hang around your office to make a positive impression as opposed to those who whine when you are out sick (though they have 5 absences and multiple latenesses), complain to your chairperson about your lack of direction (when they never even look at the syllabus or class requirements), and who tell you they are good students and need an "A" or "B" to transfer/graduate when they haven't done diddly-squat all semester (no exaggeration: I have one kid who is 0 for 3 out of four exams who still believes he is passing!). Possibly, when he gets his "F" he will run to the chair or dean and sing the blues better than Billy Holiday. Who would believe that a student could be so stupid as to continue showing up for a course he was told he was failing? You would be surprised.

-- We Waisala, Ramapo College, New Jersey (posted 4/20, 9:32 a.m., E.D.T.)

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